Mission Mission

Where’s he off to?

By the way, there’s a Little Caesar’s out near the corner of Mission and Geneva in case anyone was wondering.

Photo by Emamd.

Previously:

Enormous Caesar

Benny Gold captured this bit of summertime, and Plug1 sent it my way with the subject line:

im aware it is hot outside, but wtf is going on in the mish today? is it like 150 degrees? is this mid-day walk of shame?

Link.

Previously:

Mini Mustang Motors Mission

Sexpigeon yesterday published my new favorite sentence:

She speaks Tagalish and every third word is “ponk” and every fifth word is “modderfacker” and it’s all tangled up in bubblegum sproings.

See her here.

Matty Matt spotted this doozie the other day:

Is this an epidemic? Look at the accurately inverted exclamation point!!!

Thanks, Matty!

Previously:

Cone in a Hole

Sexpigeon today published a catalog of urban codes, akin to the shoes-on-a-wire-means-a-crack-dealer-lives-here thing. Here’s a new one: “Discarded bike lock: Unlicensed dentist.” Read on for some real mindblowers.

But what oh what does cone in a hole signify?

Hurry, guy. She’s been at the park for hours, waiting on you.

It’s 10:22 am on Easter Sunday and me and my roommates begin to hear someone yelling outside, “I’m down here!” He then mutters repeatedly, “Where are you, muthafucka?” We peek outside and ascertain that Mr. Black Man with Unrealistically White Shoes has spotted the shoes hanging from the power lines outside our apartment. Or rather, the power lines outside the apartment of the crack dealer who lives across the street. He clearly needs a fix but doesn’t know which apartment the shoes are signaling. So he does the best he can by announcing his presence and hoping for the best.

The guy yells again, in a Barry White voice that booms all the way down to Mission Street, “I’M DOWN HERE!” He then pulls out a wad of money and begins to count it in a very obvious way.

Alas, our neighborhood drug dealer is not awake yet, and Barry White ambles on down the street, muttering and counting his money.

UPDATE: Jack says, “Oh look, drug dealer’s awake. Omg that guy has no pants on. That just ruined my life.”

Just like anything, in blog comments you have to hunt through a lot of garbage to find the good stuff. Here’s some good stuff, from reader zinzin:

point is, tags are permanent, and odds are, regardless of content or wittiness, odds are they’re an affront to someone.

on the one hand, that’s life in the city. on the other hand, so is prostitution and hard drug peddling. not the same, but who’s to say what bothers whom?

in a close, dense community like the mission, better to be respectful, and careful.

You may read the whole comment for more context, but whether you agree with zinzin’s stance or not, there’s wisdom in that closing line. Be cool, people.