Bike thief works quick in broad daylight

Okay, it was dusk, but it’s Daylight Savings Time for god’s sake, and the lights of the Roxie marquee light up this block just as well as the sun does.

In any case, a mid-30s-ish bike thief with a chinstrap-ish mustache, caucasian, crouched down by a locked bike, snapped the cable lock with a totally surreptitious tool, and sped off before my mildly buzzed happy hour companion was able to put two and two together.

And this was all also in full view of the vigilant crew in the Roxie box office, but, again, the thief worked so fast and cool that nobody noticed.  It took seeing the broken lock left behind on the sidewalk for my friend to give any thought to what had happened.

A.) We know, you use a cable lock, it’s your own fault. B.) Still, bike thieves in this city are good — they’re like ninjas — so don’t get too comfortable, even if you have a proper lock. C.) Keep your eyes peeled and your minds sharp! As soon as my friend said, “Hey, why did that guy leave his lock, on the ground?” I shot up, yelled “BIKE THIEF,” ran outside, but it was too late.  A few seconds sooner, we might’ve had a collar. (Or at least a better blog post.)

The free crepes at Dalva (with grilled onions, grilled mushrooms, feta and olive) were hell of good though.

22 Responses to “Bike thief works quick in broad daylight”

  1. Corpus Nerd says:

    Bike thieves are so lame. If you’re going to be a thief, why not steal something real like jewelry. At least rich people have insurance.

  2. get it right says:

    If you’re going to co-opt native slang, at least get it right: “hella” good (not “hell of”). Ugh.

  3. MrEricSir says:

    Dumbass! How did you think Dalva was paying for those crepes?

  4. codesmith says:

    It bears repeating. never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never use a cable lock.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      See, I’ve always heard that you should use a cable lock AND a U-lock or chain, as bike thieves are usually carrying one kind of tool or the other, but not both.

  5. atom says:

    The crepes were HELLA good. Hello?

  6. anon says:

    i like “hell of”

  7. Michael Smith says:

    If you use just a cable lock you are absolutely positively guaranteed that your bike will be stolen. I don’t see why bike stores in SF still sell the things.

  8. tacotron says:

    hella? that band from sacramento? one “hell of” a drummer that Zach Hill is

  9. A tin ear here
    And a tin ear there;
    Here an ear,
    There an ear,
    Everywhere a tin ear!
    Old man Houghie
    Had a blog –
    Eee-eye-eee-eye-oh!

  10. Tiny Tim says:

    Best to use Bagel Lox. Smell stays on thief’s hands and then you can trace him. Cream cheese also makes it slippery.
    Bagel Lox–wherever fine lox are sold.

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