Albino Bianchi stolen last night

MM reader Brooks H. just got finished helping with all the neat Shop for Japan stuff to help raise money for tsunami victims when he rudely discovered that karma isn’t always cut and dry:

After raising ten grand for japan, my beautiful all white bianchi  got stolen. One AM last night at 17th and mission they clipped my lock. There’s not another bike around here like it.

Let’s all do Brooks a favor and keep an eye out for this exotic bicycle.  These things are rare!

86 Responses to “Albino Bianchi stolen last night”

  1. Corpus Nerd says:

    O-M-G, that bike is so sexy.

  2. Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

    It sucks that your bike got stolen, but as a silver lining, think of this as an opportunity to ditch the fixie-affectation and get a real bike.

    • Brooks says:

      Cute that this thread devolved into nonsense about fixies. It’s def a single speed (Yes, Herr Doktor, that’s a “free wheel”).

      Thanks to those that have wished me luck. I checked out the Oakland Flea Markets this morning but nothing. Got the bike stores, bike kitchen and sf bike party on the watch, too. I haven’t been that pissed off in a while. If you see the bastard just knock him over for me.

      But hey, I’m over it – clearly – and moving on, going to start building my new bike on Monday.

      Herr Doktor, I’m sorry you consider “fixies” to be “not-real”. Please move to the Marina.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        Like I said, I’m sorry your bike got stolen. That sucks no matter how many gears it has.

  3. getoverit says:

    its single speed retard……notice the brakes…..

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      A fixie by any other name is still as retarded.

      • SFdoggy says:

        But it is not a fixie by another name — it actually has working brakes. So it is only half as retarded as a fixie.

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          But there are bunches of fixies out there with brakes. To be fair, though, you usually see them with only one brake, though, not two.

      • and it’s not fixed gear. you can still coast. stop being retarded.

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          Hmm. Maybe I’ve been using the wrong definition of fixie. I have always considered that the definition of a fixie was a bicycle that had a single (ie “fixed”) gear ratio. Are you arguing that a fixie must, necessarily, not be able to coast?

          This raises some interesting questions. As I understand it, one of the arguments that people who think that fixies are better than real bicycles use is that having the rear wheel not be able to spin freely allows more control over specific speed than you can with a free rear wheel. It seems like a fixed gear bike with a free-spinning rear wheel would obviate that advantage (tenuous an “advantage” though it may be). Soooo… Wouldn’t that make riding this sort of fixie (Or, to use the terminology favored by getoverit, this “single speed retard”) even SILLIER than riding a fixie that can’t coast?

          • miley says:

            the gear is not “fixed” because the pedals don’t have to move while the pedals are moving. fixies also don’t have brakes.

          • ciao says:

            “using the wrong definition” ie you are just making shit up and don’t have the slightest clue what you are talking about. just stop talking shit, you are only digging yourself a deeper hole.

          • prince says:

            Fixie has no freewheel, doesn’t freely spin. Solely operated by pushing the pedals or braking the same way. Pedals don’t stop spinning when you take your feet off. Fans describe it as giving a more controlled pedaling style and developing better muscles, better for slow riding (like for bike polo), “more zen”.

            Single speed has freewheel, you can coast, take feet off pedals and they won’t spin. Less complicated with gearing, less of a pain to maintain, especially with lower end bikes (heavy riding on a cheap bike can break the derailleur immediately), requires a more steady pedaling style than a bike with tons of gears.

            I’ve never ridden either but if I cared to keep 2-3 bikes I’d love to. It’s not really that silly to just have a preference. No gears = not as easy to ride up hills, oh well- just walk. Some people would also rather walk places than drive, you know?

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Plenty of fixies have brakes. A fixie with brakes is just silly, a fixie WITHOUT brakes is the full retard, however.

            Anyway, thought about it some more and, sure enough. Fixie is a bicycle with a single, fixed, gear ratio. All these other arbitrary rules you’re throwing about may well define something special in your own opinion. But what it comes down to is that Fixie = Fixed Gear. Ain’t got nothin’ to do with brakes or lack thereof. Ain’t got nothin’ to do with what sort of hub is on the back wheel. It is all about the gearing, and it is right there in the name.


          • Adman says:

            “A fixed-gear bicycle (or fixed-wheel bicycle, sometimes known in the USA as a fixie) is a bicycle that has no freewheel, meaning it cannot coast — the pedals are always in motion when the bicycle is moving.”


  4. Olu says:

    That is a good looking bicycle. Hope it’s still in one piece.

  5. marsha says:

    check craigslist ads in texas :-\

  6. that list says:

    There’s not another one around like it; you got that right.

  7. rob g. says:

    Bikes get stolen everyday here in the city and I have a couple of simple solutions for that. I have some advice & i know something about bike thieves because I use to BMX back in Texas and thieves use to attack us for our bikes. NOT clip the lock but attack us with knives, tire irons, bats, etc… FIRST: If you get a bike that has colors on it, its like putting up a flag to the thieves, “STEAL THIS BIKE!”. SECOND: Always have two bikes. One for work, going to the store, hanging out, etc. The other bike is your expensive nice looking bike and ride that with a group of people and you know that you’ll be locking it up with five other bikes and you’ll always be around it. Also, I see people at work bringing their $2000 bike and its get stolen all the time. Hence the other bike. THIRD: Get a bike that is chrome all over. Bike thieves can’t tell if its a Bianchi or a Schwinn. I had a chrome Redline and the thieves always went for the bike with colors and left mine alone. Anyway. hope these tips work. Don’t be stupid out there. Buy two bikes and use them wisely. CHEERS!

    • it’s true; my chrome shwobo has survived many shady nights…

    • 27 says:

      I did this exact same thing when my bike was stolen outside of pops. I bought a $300 shitty looking, tho still fine riding, cruiser and a much nicer beautiful racer and I use them each for different uses. Beautiful bike is for joy rides and clean, dry commutes since my bike stays indoors when I’m at work. No one would steal the other bike, so if I eve make the mistake of going to pops again, I won’t be scared to leave it locked to a parking meter for 45 minutes.

      Get another bike!

  8. ndc says:

    Having your bike stolen sucks, but parking a bike that looks like that at 17th & Mission at 1am is not karma, that’s just plain stupid.

    Why not go into the Castro, chain yourself to a streetlight on a corner, pull down your pants and start handing out free KY jelly to strangers while you’re at it?

    • Brooks says:

      Next time…

      But in my defense, Mission St was totally alive. I stepped into get a burrito for ten minutes. I guess I over estimated the perceptiveness of the masses.

      • Travis B. says:

        “But in my defense, Mission St was totally alive”

        I’m sure it was. Mission and 17th is alive–teeming even–with people at 1:00 AM. What you failed to notice is they’re all pimps, hos, pushers, and junkies. And, you did not over estimate their perceptiveness. They’re actually quite perceptive–they can smell a sucker 5 blocks away. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that you’re lucky they didn’t see you locking up a nice bike on that block and decide that you’d make an easy target for other crimes.

        Sorry, but ndc’s comment is spot-on. Learn to look around and be aware of your surroundings. Then, maybe, you can have nice things.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      I don’t think it is fair to blame the victim. Sounds like it was well-locked in a public place.

  9. wrybread says:

    Agreed it was kind of asking for it to park that bike at 17th & Mission at 1am. But still, brutal to lose the bike and I hope you get it back.

    On a sidenote, I’ll buy a burrito for anyone who comes up with a browser plugin that blocks all posts by “Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable”. Seriously Herr, go away, or at least ask yourself why every single one of your posts is so obnoxious. Hopefully you’re not nearly this big an asshole in person.

  10. hnky says:

    Well that is the downside of gentrification…sometimes whites get jacked!

  11. Chaz Bono says:

    Real Fixies are Track Bikes, have no freewheel, and no brakes. There is nothing wrong with ignorance until you start aggressively defending your undercooked points of view in public. By ‘points of view’, I refer to your earlier and equally not-knowing rants about the nature of graffiti vs. street art.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      Ok, illuminate me then, brainiac.

      Let’s break it down: Are you arguing that “fixie” is not short for “fixed gear”?

      As for “graffiti vs. street art”, I’m not completely sure what you mean. I’m gonna assume its the discussions of graffiti artists vs. taggers?

      • I would as soon enter into a debate with a fundamentalist Christian minister as discuss bicycles or graffiti with their respective proponents. No lasting accord or acceptance can come from any attempt at interface between non-believers (who usually try to walk the line between logic and feeling) and true believers (who accept only the received wisdom of their sub-culture).

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          Hear, Hear.

        • rodzzz says:

          you don’t have to be a “bicycle proponent” or even a cyclist to grasp the concept of fixing a gear to a wheel.

          • It looked to me that that was EXACTLY the concept that Herr Doktor was holding fast to, to his detriment in arguing with a horde of hair-splitting gnats. But I could be mistaken, of course. I know nothing of bicycles, or cargo cults.

      • rodzzz says:

        As multiple posters have already wasted their time explaining, a fixed-gear bike (aka fixed-wheel aka fixie) is one where there is a single gear anchored to the rear wheel, when the wheels are moving, the pedals are moving. The bicycle cannot coast. Fixed-gear means that the gear is fixed to the wheel.

        I’m sorry that the definition you made up doesn’t coincide with reality, but you’re not scoring yourself any points by defending and/or repeating it.

        • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

          What you’re describing is not a fixed gear ratio.

          Or, rather, it is a subset of fixed gear ratio.

          Not really interested in “scoring points”, either. If people don’t want to agree with reality, that’s on y’all, I guess. It’s not my job to try to convince you otherwise, if you really want to have a separate definition of what the words “fixed gear” mean, then that’s fine by me. More power to you. But then if you get all whiney because other people don’t apply the same warped definition you shouldn’t be so outraged when we make fun of you.

          • Ben says:

            This is kinda like using “techno” to describe all electronic music. Yes, it might as well be interchangeable for the majority of the population. Yes, you’re going to piss off anyone taking more than a passing interest.

  12. Chaz Bono says:

    Sorry about the Bianchi – my snipe was directed at Dr. Douchebag.

  13. oh says:

    I have a hard time believing your bike was only locked for 10 min. and if it was then you should have noticed the sketchy dude with bolt cutters. Nobody in SF using a real heavy duty bike chain, I know they’re heavy but if I’m going out late and locking my bike outside in the mission the heavy lock comes out…

    • Brooks says:

      you best believe that from now on i’m going to cary like 8 kriptonites.

    • Ben says:

      If you decide to go the heavy chain route, make sure you’re getting something like those NYC chain locks, and not just some heavy chain from the hardware supply store. Your first tip-off that it’s a bad idea is that right after you tell them how much you want, they’re going to snap it off of a bulk roll.

      You could probably get some chain that would do the job at a marine supply store, you’re going to need something that can withstand a pretty large amount of cutting force. Right angles on the links are good; hexagonal is even better.

  14. dude says:

    That bike is ugly as hell. But I’m very very sorry it was stolen, I have big time sympathy and hope you get it back!

    I’ll keep an eye out!

    • Brooks says:

      Thanks man. I am actually curious about your aesthetic leanings, though, in a totally not offended way. What does a beautiful bike look like to you? Pix?

        • Brooks says:

          OH SHIT check out that SINGLE SPEED. #fakebikes
          P.S. I was asking Dude, cuz not a lot of people call that bike ugly.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Totally! I love those old bikes!

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            I dunno about Dude, but I don’t think your bike is ugly. It just looks like the kind of bike a stormtrooper would ride.

          • Brooks says:

            No… no, that was sarcasm. You just linked to a bike that is by your definition a not a “real bike.”

            It’s EXACTLY what you’ve been describing as retarded.

            Like… the exact thing.

            I can’t even wrap my brain around this.

          • Brooks says:

            Like it’s actually a fixie. I cannot comprehend what just happened here.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            No no… ok, I think the problem here is that you don’t realize that I understand that. (Or, possibly that you don’t understand that I realize that.)

            I don’t have some k-razy vendetta against single speed/fixed gear/fixed wheel bikes. There are tons of awesome ones out there, such as the picture I posted.

            What I find hilarious and mockworthy is actually not even that people spend hundreds, THOUSANDS of dollars, even, on the finest bicycle technology the 19th century had to offer. It is that people then try to insist that they are somehow better bicycles than modern, geared, ones.

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never called anyone “Bro”!

            Now you’re just getting mean.

  15. Homeless Laptop user says:

    I’ll be looking too, as I frequent the bum cuts, bushes, and mobile-dweller’s blocks.

    I’m not kidding, BTW, & I hope you/I find it.

  16. Pedro Navaja says:


  17. scott says:

    Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable – i think you are confusing yourself. stop worrying about the word gear. britain, and many other european countries, refer to the “fixed gear” as “fixed wheel.” both are referring to the same type of bike- a single speed, direct drive, drivetrain- ie. you pedal and you go. you dont pedal and you dont go. its that simple.

    there is a reason the single speed worlds for mountain biking is called single speed and not fixed gear worlds. competitors use single speed bikes that can also coast.

  18. Brooks says:

    That’s it. We’ve started a blog.
    “A blog about fake bikes. Get a real bike, bro.”

    • hoboking says:

      I’m confused, are slick looking track bikes the only bikes that aren’t counted?

      What about the following:
      *’Soft Tail’ mountain bikes with giant silly shock n spring bits.
      *Cruisers that weigh over 40 lbs and are designed for slowly riding on the beach boardwalk in Santa Monica.
      * Carbon Fiber Road bikes ‘Fredded’ out with silly components that have a combined value of over $3,000.00 but are only used by ‘Cat 6′ commuter types.
      * Ratty old 70′s steel frame bikes with dangling chains and $200.00 saddles ridden in a slow disaffected manner through traffic/all lights, most often by pretty young women.
      * BMX and other tiny little trick bikes ridden by guys in black beanies with their knees sticking out
      *Recumbents. Recumbents ridden on the sidewalk. Recumbents ridden on the sidewalk by spandex wearers.
      *Tall Bikes.
      *Polo Bikes.
      *Bamboo Bikes.
      *Beat up ‘hardtail’ (often with a too small frame) mountain bikes ridden on streets or sidewalks by folks trying to get to blue collar jobs/deliver take out/collect cans.

      Did I cover everything? What acceptable cycles are left? Is everyone enraged?

      • Brooks says:

        Yep. Those all sound like fake bikes to me.

        • hoboking says:

          I think Homeless Laptop is onto something too, he’s got some pretty fake bikes listed out as well.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        Real, Real, Real, Real, Fake, Confusing-to-me, Fake, I don’t know what they look like, I don’t know what they are, Not a bike at ALL, Real, Motorcycles don’t count.

  19. Homeless Laptop user says:

    I’m kinda irked that you forgot Downhill bikes, Trials bikes, Dual Slalom bikes, Slopestyle bikes, Dirtjump bikes, Pumptrack bikes, Cargo bikes, and Pennyfarthing bikes.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

      No no no, In many ways Pennyfarthing bikes would be the MOST real of any bikes, since they have NO gears, the pedals are attached directly to the front wheel, aren’t they?

      • Homeless Laptop user says:

        Chale. 17th and Mission is nothing to get shook about…everyone there after 1 AM is a chica from the burbs, a walking carcass, a writer, or an undercover. Not like it used to be. Just keep one eye on your shit.

        • Homeless Laptop user says:

          this reply ended up here?…..huh.

          Drop all this ‘real bike’ shit…the point is they’re all real better than most other forms of conveyance and sometimes the nice ones get jacked.

          Maybe all this hyperdivel will get a few more eyes looking out the White one.

          • hoboking says:

            I’m glad you got my joke.

            I find all this drivel infuriating, I don’t really care what kind of bike other cyclists chose to ride. Except for recumbents (one ran over my foot once). I assume they have their reasons, and am just glad to see more people on the road.

            Every cyclist helps make us all safer by accustoming drivers to our presence.

            I really hope that Brooks gets that nice bike back, even if it’s not the bike I would buy (and I’m not saying I would or wouldn’t).

          • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

            I think that is something we can probably all agree on.

  20. Homeless Laptop user says:

    ‘Cross bikes, Repack bikes, and Karpiel Armageddon bikes.

  21. Homeless Laptop user says:

    …and my least favorite bike: the folding bike.

  22. SCUM says:

    Leave anything out in a shitty area late at night it will get took, including your ass.

  23. barf says:

    that bike is so hideous. i honestly can’t believe someone would steal such a glaring tacky “look at me look at me” bike. how are they gonna get rid of it? sell it to someone else who is like you i guess.

  24. confused says:

    that’s like saying that dressing well is tacky. “Ohh, look at that person, they care about how they look!” This is the Mission, people ride nice looking bikes. Maybe you and Herr Doktor should hang out and be lonely together.

  25. NoiseBridge says:

    This is still going. limecat is very amused.

  26. SFEvl1 says:

    So sorry a Hipster in the Mission got jacked while getting a burrito. The joke writes itself.

  27. damian says:

    why not buy the strongest locks available(yeah;some of us cant afford it)i think their carbon steel..and also use cobra chains(bikers use the strongest locks available..also cobra chains..biker magazines advertise the strongest locks available..)crackheads from the nearby mission the hotel eula(16th st.)make a living doing this

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