Holiday Girlfriend needs a job!

Remember when Holiday Boyfriend captivated your hearts a couple winters ago?  Well, it seems as though holiday boyfriend and girlfriend eventually became regular boyfriend and girlfriend, and now they’re back again, just in time for this holiday season!


Let me be clear. I want a job. But, I don’t really want a job.

I just want one for my holiday girlfriend.

Let’s recognize something. Getting laid off sucks, especially after you moved from Florida to California two years ago to work for a non-profit that does fantastic humanitarian projects that you truly believe in, and most especially after you welded together an entire conference (Exhibit A: basically by yourself to help further fund previously mentioned organization/sinking ship. Then after getting complimented on how it was “the best one we’ve had yet” you were unceremoniously shitcanned.

Let’s recognize another thing. She’s awesome at community and communications management, great at fundraising with high level folks, has a solid understanding of operational flow (SalesForce and website handshaking etc), kicks ass at social media, event planning, plenty of other stuff and is tall and pretty.

She holds bachelor’s and master’s degrees in architecture from accredited universities. She has worked in the service industry and AmeriCorps so she has a solid-as-fuck work ethic — she is not some softie who calls in “sick” because of bad weather or a hangover.

She’s also pretty OVER nonprofits at this point.

Interested? Here’s…

How it works if:
• You’re a JOB CREATOR: reply to this email with a description of said job. MUST be in San Francisco or the immediate Bay Area unless it is especially sweet (and we’re talking a Gigantic Cotton Candy™ smothered in local honey and gestating a mid-six figure salary kind of saccharine here)
• You’re a PERSON WHO KNOWS PEOPLE: reply to this email with the best form of contact for a person who is a JOB CREATOR.

Thank you all in advance.

(And yes, this is the original “holiday girlfriend guy.” Accept no substitutions.)

(Via Craigslist)

[Completely unrelated photo by gaelen]

6 Responses to “Holiday Girlfriend needs a job!”

  1. unworthy says:

    Can I just touch the hem of her garment?

  2. one says:

    Job MUST be in San Francisco? If the gig’s not in the Bay Area then it’s got to be a sweet gig?

    Dissing the whole nonprofit world, a former boss and naming the org won’t win any friends, “even” among “job creators.”

    Thanks for the laugh. I needed that!

    • troll says:

      Get over yourself. If they said she wanted to work outside of SF, you’d probably be upset at her commuting. Aside from saying she’s over working for non-profits, how did they diss non-profits? As someone working for one, lighten up.

      THANKS FOR THE LAUGH, though!

  3. uncommon says:

    holy Batman, who knew swindling a lead could turn so easily into post AFS partum saccharine flavored Cotton Candy parties? oh Honey. Good luck!

  4. SF Perv says:

    ok….$40, $50 if there can be a little kissing….