New York bagels, flown in overnight, served up fancy at Dear Mom. 180 this time, one per person.
RSVP and invite your friends.
“It is happening again…”
OMG! A LINE? I’M IN!
I have some saltines that I just flew in from LA, they will be available with peanut butter and honey. For any of you line knobs, look for them in Marin this weekend.
Marin will have nothing to do with lines.
People in Marin actually have REAL money and don’t even do this retard BS.
Seems like getting worked up about lines is the new standing in lines.
I’d rather eat 3 bags of stale safeway bagels than wait in line for authentic hipster bread
Fuck you, Mission Mission, you fucking hypocrites. You’re always railing about the horrifying effects of gentrification, yet you promote people flying across the country to bring you breakfast and play some sort of ping-pong that only trustafarian Americans in Berlin at one bar have ever played. Fuck you and your hypocrisy.
this is quite true
When you learn how to play ping pong, the gentrifiers have won.
PT Barnum would be proud.
Just because I can, and only because I can–I will fly out these ingredients next week, prepare the ‘witches in SF and then fly them back to Brooklyn for sale. In addition, I will offer the most extravagant cocktails the world has ever known, although I won’t be using 24K gold dust on the glass rim–that would be too tacky and I’m about extravagance to show that I can and only because I can. The cocktail will consist of a mash-up of the finest tropical fruits and vegetables flown in sustainably from Madagascar, where fleet-footed lemurs stomp on baskets of grapamui fruit–grown sustainably in shade-grown yards from seeds expelled by the paraschangrivat bat. Spices from heretofore unknown regions of the Indonesian island of Morotai will flavor these libations after steeping that will take place in repurposed Finnish manufacturing facilities. Flying these ingredients around for final assemblage in SF will be accomplished because I can and only because I can.
How do I finance this? Because I have developed products for which people will stand in line and make money off the advertising they are exposed to (can’t escape it in their queue) and by utilizing their body heat to drive virtual cloud turbines whose power generation can be sold at a premium because it’s so sustainable.
Damn that was tedious.
Greg: Perhaps you and I can concoct an outrageous saltine and peanut butter cocktail and sell it at roadside stands in Marin. Queueing at roadside stands is so cool. A portion of the proceeds can go to the Society for Lemonade Stands, whom we will be pre-empting.
Most of my relatives are NY natives and were either dying laughing at this or just felt deep pity.
WWhile they are waiting in line, I will drink some wonderful estate grown fair trade coffee from Costa Rica, then roll out of bed and get some tacos or a burrito at the Tonayense truck, and go home and take a nap.
Sometimes this town can be so embarrassing provincial.
Who gives a red rat’s ass?
Enjoy your free bagel, PimpinCrap, PimpinCrap.
You’ve still never told us what you get from Dear Mom’s for all of this advertising.
Can the smart computer types out there do some sort of phrase search within the Twitter/Facebook/Whatever feeds of the line-standers, to see how many have used “buy local” or “locally-sourced” or similar in the last six months of their postings?
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