Mission Mission

Just in case anyone was wondering why Noe Valley *Buzz* is MY FAVORITE NEW NEIGHBORHOOD BLOG, allow me to enumerate the ways in which I adore their account of an epic arrest made at Dolores Park on Saturday. (They get -1 for tardiness, but who cares really?)

1.) They call the J-Church “the Jaaaaaaaaay Church.”

2.) Pure poetry: “And dood, this mo-fo was HANGRY! Probs sick from the hospital jello or maybe he had the Methadone Munchies but he was fixing to rob a b*tch of their picnic snacks from Bi-Rite like craaaaaaaaaaazy.”

3.) They censor “bitch.”

4.) Their take on the SFPD? “Legit. Tax dollas at work.”

5.) They love the truffle guy as much as I do: “He’s delish tho, brown and stoned. We thought he was Brazilian but he denied it…just really really hot.”

6.) How about this killer photography? I like the “Noe cop” cradling a bag of groceries.

I mean, the best I could muster was this Twitter tweet, but they delivered a joyful, action-packed feat of storytelling. They’re delish.

However, they do claim Dolores as part of da Noe. What do we have to say about that?

Link.

One of the dudes arrested last night for allegedly marking up the Dolores Park bathroom building and an unnamed Mission storefront is also a budding author. An excerpt from Scott Cuilty‘s forthcoming book, The Oxnard Survival Manual:

“Give me a  smoke, Shawn. I’m  serious.”
“In a minute..”
“No, you fucking asshole.Now.”
“Calm down…Geez..give me minute…”
This had been going on for ten minutes. Mike was driving and Shawn was smoking. Mike was trying to get Shawn to give up a smoke, but Shawn, always the bunt of everyone’s jokes, was enjoying this momentary bit of power he had over Mike. “I’ll give you one when I’m ready. Not now.” Shawn inhaled slowly in front of Mike, straight taunting him. Mike wasn’t having it.
“Give me a fucking cigarette right now or I swear to God I will fucking crash this car.”

Read the rest for some high drama, an inspiring conclusion, and your new favorite sentence: “He looked as relieved as if he’d just taken the healthiest shit of his life.” Link.

Says Sangroncito:

Yesterday I watched the cops surround and bust one of the hot dog street vendors on Mission at 22nd Street.  Felt sorry for the poor guy….I just don’t see the threat posed by hot dogs.

Link.

eddo_likes_you is on the scene:

HOLY SHIT. 20th & Florida, light blue Mercedes just HIT A PERSON and SPED OFF. [Link]

Everyone is outside, ppl are looking out windows, helping. Atlas Cafe folks are out on scene. Someone caught the license plate #. [Link]

Update: Okay, not a person, thankfully, hopefully, maybe:

Ok, heard misinformation. Crazy driver hit several parked cars, I think no ppl tho? No one was hurt? Several ppl got license plate #. [Link]

Here’s hoping this misinformation doesn’t get out and wrongly rile people up — on Critical Mass night.

Beth Spotswood was trying to shoplift some sundry goods from Walgreens this morning and ended up having an epic, Western-style staring contest with the security guard who was hot on her trail:

This security guard was always 3 feet away and staring directly at me, to the point where our proximity could no longer be ignored. But quite frankly, I was way too embarrassed to say anything. This guy thought I was thief! So I just turned to face him and stared back.

See who wins.

SFPD were out in force yesterday afternoon, cruising the park and ordering parkgoers to pour out their Tecates.

At one point, this cloaked hero ran up on them, asking for clarification and debating the validity of their decrees.

Note the light saber in his left hand.

Related:

I Fought The Law at Guerilla Curatorship.

Kris writes:

Five shots got me out of bed last night around 11pm.  Saw a car speed away once I got a chance to look out the window.  Looked like someone was hit because an ambulance came and went.

Thanks, Kris.

Geoffrey Ellis last night was live on the scene for the aftermath of last night’s drive-by shooting:

Here is a photo I took last night after the shooting at 19th and Capp. I live a few houses down from the corner. There were 2 shots fired from a car. The cops said one guy was shot in the leg and another was shot in the back. The Examiner says it was at 18th and Capp but they are wrong. Trust me… Maybe that is why traditional media is dying. Thanks for getting it right.

Click picture to enlarge. Thanks, Geoffrey.

Realtime results for 19th and capp.

(Thanks, Johnny0.)

From Mission Station Newsletter

By Captain Stephen Tacchini

Over the past couple of weeks, there have been several street robberies committed in the Mission District. Through prompt response, quick thinking and organized efforts, officers from Mission Station made several outstanding arrests of persons responsible for those crimes. I am confident those arrests will significantly impact the incidence of future robberies. Often one or two suspects for any crime may be responsible for a significant amount of crimes in a geographical area and their capture greatly reduces the incidence of that crime.

One recent case in particular stands out. A robbery of two men on a street occurred where the suspects pointed a shotgun at the victims and demanded their valuables. The suspects ran away and were observed by the victims to be on a specific block when officers arrived on the scene. Alert officers secured the area and began a slow, methodical search of the block. One officer noticed a woman looking out of her front window and his instincts told him there was something wrong with the way she was looking at him. He went up the stairs of her house and knocked on the door and calmly and quietly asked her if everything was alright. She responded by shaking her head and motioning towards the back of her house. The officers acted quickly and deliberately and entered the house, finding one of the robbery suspects sitting in the living room. He was taken into custody without incident, and it was learned later, he had warned the woman not to say anything to the Police when they knocked on her door. In this case the suspect could easily have been overlooked and escaped, except for the alert and perceptive officer who followed his instincts and pursued things just a little further. Even more important was the courage of the woman to look out the window, make eye contact with the officer and through non-verbal means, convey a sense of fear and urgency.

This is just one example of the excellent work done on a daily basis by the officers of Mission Station. I am very proud of the work they do and you should be too!

[Email Stephen_Tacchini(at)sfgov(dot)org to subscribe.]