Mission Mission

Just got the sweetest email from Aaron Mayfield Sunshine (pictured):

So I need help, the kind only a neighborhood specific blog can provide. I went to a party at the Yacht Club last night and I met this girl who hit on me and Andrew and she was weirdddd, but she was also cute and funny and just the sort of thing I like, but here’s the rub; I asked for her number and she was weird about it, and I know nothing about her beyond that she was wearing a yellow dress and black frame glasses and blue stockings. I was drunk (so was she), and we danced (h8 dancing, very bad at it) and I kissed her, and she was flattered (I think) but not ready for it. There was definitely vibe though and I would like to see her again, in a setting that is neither loud nor covered in an alcoholic mist.

Dear girl, Aaron may be a bad dancer, but he’s a sweet kid, an absolutely inspired musician, a fashion fucking genius, and an all around enlightened soul. Get in touch.

Send tips to missionmissionmission (at) gmail (dot) com and they will be forwarded to appropriate parties.

Photo by worldfamousinsf.

Tuesday, early evening. “No way,” guy at the bar said, “She’s way too cute — she’s a cop.”

She came and went two or three times.

The latest issue of Xploited Zine is online, and its theme is homelessness. The following is an excerpt from The One Time I Slept With a Homeless Guy by Virgie Tovar:

We met on Craigslist. At some point his homelessness started to fade against the background of our shared deviancy. He called me from the payphone at the Castro Safeway a few times. He sounded cute. We made a date and I made a couple of feeble attempts to back out. Yes, ok, because he was homeless, not because I worry about lunatics from Craigslist coming to my house and raping me or making me eat my own viscera in a sandwich or something. To be honest, my reticence stemmed from one thing, and one thing alone. I have this thing with dirty nails. They really freak me out, and I was worried that he would have dirty nails and then want to dig them into my back as he was going to town on my tits and mumbling “mommy”. I threw caution to the wind, gave him my address, and he showed up at my doorstep.

Read the rest for the gory details of their tryst.

The issue also features a story by Mission Mission’s Tomi Clark.

A pretty good short story from Rants & Raves:

To the tough guy outside Safeway (mission district)

I was not looking for trouble when I went to Safeway. I was looking for some bread and thought maybe about picking up a few other things before going home after work. I saw you and your lady-friend as I walked by you. You seemed fairly mad at something, and from the look on her face, I was guessing you were mad at her. Ah well… not my concern.

I was unfortunate enough to be behind you in line at checkout. I listened to you bitch and bitch and bitch some more at her. From the gist of the conversation, it seems her monthly friend is in town, and that means you can’t visit. Funny, but again, not my business.

So as i go outside to head home, there you are in the parking lot. You are yelling loud and clear that she WOULD be blowing you tonight and that was that. Now from how it appeared, she didnt think that was going to happen and told you so. Again, funny, but not my business.

Then you smacked her. Cocked way back and belted her right in the face. Ok, now you have my attention. I watched the whole thing. She had no weapon. She was not threatening you. But you hit her. You drew blood.

Link, or read the rest after the jump:

(more…)

Poetry from the delicate flower that is Valencia Street:

Paxton’s Gate – w4m – 21 (mission district)

I was seriously considering buying a fox tail.
You were behind the counter, occupied with a pile of rocks.

My friend and I were admiring the collection of beetles when you asked if I had gotten my shirt at Thrift Town. I said that I had and you told me that you had almost bought it and that I looked good in it. I thanked you and walked awkwardly away to fiddle with the ostrich eggs while you disappeared into the back room…

My friend and I lingered for a bit near the venus fly traps hoping you’d reappear, but you never did.

Let’s go thrifting, handsome.

Link.

Related:

Will Craigslist Buy The Chronicle? at SF Appeal.

Paxton Gate official website.

What a find! I hope these two reconnect:

Your friend puked all over projectile style – w4m – 22 (mission district)

i told you i was going to do this. so hopefully you believed me and have been checking missed connections religiously since last night(friday the 9)….doubtful but worth a shot. i saw you through the window, i was with some friends, there was definitely eye contact. then your friend started puking everywhere! it was actually sort of incredible because he didn’t even have to hunch over, it was like a hose or something. it was sort of hypnotizing…..anyways after we finshed eating my friends and i came to talk to you all about the intense puking. still there was eye contact, but you seemed really shy. your other friends were talking a lot more, maybe you couldn’t get a word in. maybe you didn’t want to. anyways, i’m curious, i thought you were really cute. i’ve never been the type to post a missed connection, but i told you i would and i’m true to my word. so hopefully you or one of your friends gets this and gives you the word or something, worth a try right?

Link. Also, somebody should definitely write a love song about this and call it “Projectile Style.” (Thanks, Katie!)

Overheard in Dolores Park:

I drunk texted, “I wanna suck your cock,” and he wrote back, “I feel exactly the same way.”

Awww.

Hey what’s the official terminology for when two UPS trucks back into each other like this to exchange parcels? Laura wants to know.

Guess so! Thanks, Ralph.

Over at Oopsie Daisy, Daisy reminds us not to take anything for granted. Link.