Top 5 of '10: #5: Livin' La Bebida Loca; #4 KKKontroversy

This week, Mission Mission brings you a recap of the top 5 posts of 2010. Can you guess the number one post of the year?

If you guessed BART Boner, then you’re wrong! That was posted in 2008 so it doesn’t count. Although, admittedly it’s still up there. Probably because we make way too many off-hand jokes re-linking it. We really should stop doing that. After this post, I mean.

5. FDA to ban Four Loko Nationwide

It used to be at every corner store, now you can only find it in the stockpile under Andrew Sarkarati’s coffee table. Four Loko became national sensation among party people in 2010. Why? It was cheap, first of all. In this economy we all need to cut corners wherever we can. It was also ironic, which is apparently an excellent reason to do anything this year. Perhaps most importantly, it’s loaded with alcohol. This malt beverage contains about twice the alcohol as your typical brew-dog and had a flavor that can only be described as carbonated liquified jello shots.

So why is the government and media being such a drag, man? The stuff is a allegedly marketed to kids. Check out all those fruity flavors and colorful packaging! They might as well serve that swill out of foil-lined bags like Capri Sun. Our own Ariel Dovas even saw the a youngster going loco over Loko on MUNI. The idea of kid-friendly alcoholic beverages isn’t exactly anything new. When I was a young pup trying to fit in, I thought beer was totally gross. The solution? Zima. Dizgusting.

So farewell to Four Loko, we hardly knew you. Say hi to Sparks for us in drinky heaven.

4. Spurned Scenester Sullies Sightly Street Art

Local tagger KKKatie is no stranger to controversy, what with the whole scribbling quasi-racist stuff on public and private property. She also apparently doesn’t care much for our 25th president William McKinley. That is, like, so anti-American.

This year she drew the most ire in the Mission when she enhanced a Chris Lux mural with her own artistic vision inspired by what you might see scrawled on the door of a high school bathroom stall. Apparently there was some kind of beef between the two. The mural was restored in one day, but still, this marked the beginning of the end for KKKatie. She was condemned by the street art community and her friends. Finally, at Bay to Breakers, she was caught allegedly spray painting on a dude and threatening to accuse him of rape if he did anything about it. In the end, she was acquitted of any actual hate crime charges, but got slapped with 11 counts of vandalism.

Of course, as with anyone you put in the spotlight for a bit, KKKatie has her fans, crediting her as some kind of disutopian, punk-rock folk hero. But most of us think she’s more likely a chemically imbalanced young lady off her meds. I suppose only she (and perhaps her lawyer) knows for sure.

12 Responses to “Top 5 of '10: #5: Livin' La Bebida Loca; #4 KKKontroversy”

  1. “KKK” and swastikas are quasi-racist? What the hell is *actually* racist?!

    • Vic Wong says:

      The defense argued that “KKKatie” was an allusion to a depression-era song and the swastikas were backwards. Not saying the crazy kid isn’t racist or that isn’t total bullshit, just that that the hate crime thing didn’t hold up in court.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:

        That is pretty damn unlikely. Isn’t it more likely that she’s just a fucking retard who doesn’t know which direction the Nazis liked their swastikas?

    • paul d says:

      I met this girl a couple years ago. She struck me as your average young, vapid uber-hipster who doesn’t give a fuck about anything. My intuition is that, as opposed to setting out to spread an overtly racist message, she probably just thought she was being edgy and avant-garde, breaking taboos and whatnot.

  2. HF says:

    … “They might as well serve that swill out of foil-lined bags like Capri Sun.” Great point! Stopping through Puerto Rico a few years back we discovered that the unincorporated territories do caffeinated alcoholic beverages just as they were intended: in a foil bag and with a name that lets you compare your human organism to an automobile. I give you “Gasolina”: http://www.gasolinadrink.com/ No clue why Gasolina hasn’t made it stateside.

  3. jesusfuck, finally, there is a KKKatie ..um..tag..or whatever on my apartment bldg in Nob Hill..I had no idea what the fuck it was and what the KKK had to do with Katie.

    I guess we’ve moved on from racism to homophobia to transphobia..to whatever..humanphobia..

    in like, ten years people will be tagging FFFAGGOTFRANKIE or something.

  4. Sheabones says:

    She’s big in the Duboce Triangle too: http://tinyurl.com/SSStupid

    • JMaane says:

      I think this whole kkkatie bullshit is fuckin stupid. the whol epoint of taggin is to get your name out and if youre not doin it for that youre doin it to try and be cool. if you ask me i think peopele talkin about it hella is just what she wanted…

  5. SCUM says:

    Four Loko is back on the shelves with a different formula, and KKKKatie tagged up the Uptowns ladies room.

  6. Macho Energy Police says:

    Friskkko gets what it deserves.

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