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Moped thief chops down stop sign to thieve moped

Posted Mar 14, 2011 at 3:56 pm by
Categories: Crime

Have you ever heard of such a thing? What a heist!

The bike’s owner, Katie E., was not exactly impressed:

I had 2 chained to the sign. They cut the sign, took one (red puch maxi) and left the other, shown in the photos.

Every mopeder in sf knows about this and we’re gonna find that shit fucker who took it. I worked hard to make that bike. I didn’t just buy it. Other people were really nice about teaching me what to do, so I’m pissed that their time went into making something that some douche gets to have.

She’s not kidding. I’m no mopeder, but I used to do karaoke every Wednesday with a moped gang called the Landsquids, and they were some tough customers. Look out, shit fucker!

Asked to elaborate on the plight this thief is sure to face, Katie E. elaborates:

Hey dickwad, if that thing breaks, you won’t be able to fix it without buying parts from my friends. If you part it out, youll earn, like, $.99 an hour for the time it takes you. You want a trophy? You want to prove a point? Ok, you proved it. You’re too fucking retarded to know the difference between a cute bike and a good bike. Go flush your head down the public toilet on Powell and Market. Or better yet, go ride the maxi out one night and my crew will gladly facilitate the experience.

Blam! Tough customers!

Anyway, I guess don’t go thinking that if you lock your vehicle to a steel post stuck in solid concrete that it’s safe.

(Thanks for the tip, Susan!)

 

27 comments

27 Responses to “Moped thief chops down stop sign to thieve moped”

  1. Andy says:
    March 14, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    So is there a thread about this on moped army? Any more info so I can watch out for it?

    • Allan Hough says:
      March 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm

      Red Puch Maxi. Beat the shit out of anyone you see riding a Red Puch Maxi.

      Katie is at SXSW right now, doesn’t have access to old pics of her ride. We’ll get ‘em up as soon as she gets back.

    • Katie E. says:
      March 14, 2011 at 5:29 pm

      There’s a thread on the general discussion I think I called it Stolen Moped Sf.

  2. justsayin says:
    March 14, 2011 at 4:22 pm

    Pretty sure I saw a dood flying down cortland to bayshore on your moped on saturday, no helmet, of course. I would check the alemany projects or hunter’s point if i were you.

    • Katie E. says:
      March 14, 2011 at 5:14 pm

      Justin I love you thanks this sighting made my day.

      • gototheghetto says:
        March 16, 2011 at 9:34 am

        Go get your moped in HP… and yeah, make sure you and your boys beat up the thieves. Sure you’ll confront ‘em… right after SXSW of course.

  3. nick says:
    March 14, 2011 at 4:40 pm

    Can’t wait for the next mission mission post “Kid buys moped on craigslist, gets ass beat on valencia from clueless vigilante moped crew”

  4. jojo says:
    March 14, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Moped gang. Tough customers!!??? Isn’t that an oxymoron?
    I genuinely feel bad for anyone that gets there stuff stolen (I’ve had 3 bicycles stolen!), but I have to say the only people I’ve seen riding mopeds are wimpy hipsters, so if it is a guy from the “alemany projects or hunter’s point” like the guy mentioned above, I don’t think he would feel too threatened by the “gang”…

  5. florabama says:
    March 14, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    sorry it got stolen, that sucks.

    on the other hand, those puch mopeds are loud, obnoxious, and environmentally terrible. and stupid.

    ride a bike and/or a 4-stroke.

    • codesmith says:
      March 14, 2011 at 9:31 pm

      +1. Mopeds suck.

    • hah says:
      March 14, 2011 at 11:53 pm

      fuck a bike and/or a 4-stroke. and your opinion.

    • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:
      March 15, 2011 at 10:10 am

      Hear, hear. Regular operation of anything with a 2-stroke engine should be banned outright. Those fuckers are dirtier than all get out.

    • the easter bunny says:
      March 15, 2011 at 1:06 pm

      I agree. Mopeds are noisy and annoying.

    • katie says:
      March 17, 2011 at 3:10 pm

      i have 2 bicycles and ride them more than i ride the peds. what should we do, throw them in a landfill? i haven’t owned a car in 10 years, so, um, the 3 gallons of gas and 9 oz of oil I use a month is super evil i know.

      • Herr Doktor Professor Deth Vegetable says:
        March 17, 2011 at 4:09 pm

        Katie: They’re not dirty because of being inefficient.. On the contrary, 2-stroke engines are actually MORE efficient than 4-stroke engines. HOWEVER, they are also Way, way, WAAAAAY worse when it comes to emissions. That’s why they smell so bad.

        It’s easy to say “Oh, it’s just a small engine” but even small lawnmower engines pollute far more than a full-sized automobile engine. Check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawn_mower#Environmental_impact

        Anyway. I’m not an eco-fanatic or anything like that, I just figured you should be aware of how much pollution those little suckers kick out. *shrug*

  6. Steve says:
    March 15, 2011 at 11:15 am

    Oh man… I noticed this the other day. i drive by those two bikes on my way to work. I’d been noticing that first the yellow one was missing a front wheel, then it was missing a rear wheel, and then the sign was down and the red bike was gone. Sad to hear it got stolen. That’s just shitty. I will keep an eye out.

  7. SCUM says:
    March 15, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    FUCK MOPEDS….http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=282799177467

  8. katie says:
    March 17, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    ^ doesn’t care what people he doesn’t know think, even if he’s a dick. total fucking logic fail.

  9. Katie says:
    March 17, 2011 at 4:06 pm

    Hah yeah that’s me totally