Mission Mission

PROTIP: If you are coming down off your smack high and you want to take a little snooze on one of the filthiest sidewalks in the city, leave your shirt on.  If you must take your shirt off, let your dermatologist know you’ll be stopping by later.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Those Mission Mission bloggers are disgusting people
• If it is hot outside, floss it

Our buddy Rachel posed an interesting question just now:

Any theories as to why the mission lacks a walkable farmer’s market? Want. (Not that I don’t adore Alemany. I do.)

I guess theory #1 would be that the people haven’t demanded it. Anyone up for making some demands?

I have to say, that diagonal stretch of Treat where they held Rock Make yesterday was a fun place to browse ironic t-shirt stalls. Might be a fun place to browse organic produce stalls too.

(link)

Photo and title by reader Laura T. (“Mission library bike rack 8/22/09.”)

Thanks, LT!

Photo by mydogjesusbomb.

Drew Hoolhorst, my new favorite San Francisco blogger, spent yesterday afternoon in Dolores Park:

I was hanging out this afternoon in Dolores Park and a few things dawned on me:

1. Dolores Park is essentially the crowd for a Phish show that has no idea that Phish is not coming. And that they are not at a concert venue. And that it is, in fact, not legal to do drugs in downtown San Francisco. This is also why Dolores Park is mesmerizing and is also basically one big car accident that you cannot stop staring at. I was offered today (in no particular order) weed truffles, a banana cream pie, a small ukulele, a hula hoop lesson, a thick leather bracelet that went out of style in “always”, cold beer, water (ha! just kidding), and finally (my favorite): a couple’s demanding that we all watch them make out. Quick note about the couple. Hey guys, either start taking off some clothes or go home. Otherwise, all I’m getting is skinemax, and every time I try to fast forward it’s just the part where you have all your clothes on and give each other eskimo kisses. Wait, you’ve never seen that in a porn? Weird! Neither have I! This porn sucks.
2. Swingsets and many other childhood games/playground items are essentially like putting your kid in a taxi cab in downtown Cairo with no seatbelt on, and then leaving them in the car while you light firecrackers and chuck them in the window while laughing. (No, I have never been to Cairo, but that’s just me assuming it’s dangerous while also possibly skewing towards “accidentally racist”)  (Link)

Other great entries:

• “Don’t Pass This Apartment Up!“
• “Splenda: The Redheaded Stepchild of Delicious“
• “Are you my ex-girlfriend? Call me!“

He also has a pretty amazing twitter stream.

Heartened to see a few fine young men outfitted in their Mission cycling* jerseys, allll the way out in the wilds of west Marin. Maybe they’re lost.

(*See that Delfina logo on their asses?)

-Mollie C

Comm Ave.: If people were allowed to leave this much trash on Valencia St., I'm pretty sure the Creme Brulee Man would storm City Hall with a bomb strapped to his chest.

I recently went for a stroll through Boston’s hipster favela, Allston/Brighton, and I could not stop thinking about how goddamn clean the Mission is.  I know people portray the Mission to be one huge dumpster, but have you ever walked around another city?  We at least have weekly street sweeping and the DPW, at a minimum, feigns caring about gum on the sidewalk.  Yeah, Dolores Park can get kind of shitty sometimes, but if you want to have a park where people can get blitzed off practically every substance known to man with very little hassle, don’t expect the guy slurring his words to remember to throw away his box of Mike and Ikes.  Now, I’m going for a walk down Capp st. while tossing styrophone containers in the gutter and pissing on people’s garages.

You could probably unearth fossils between the sand and the cement.

I don't think you'll have a problem.

In other news, Allston/Brighton has some great stencil art.  I took a bunch of pictures, but of course they all look like crap.  This flickr set is way better.

Just when I was starting to think it was a slow news week, some moving truck goes absolutely nuts and discovers that it does not fit into a Church St. garage after uncontrollably descending Hill St. as three people jumped from the devil-powered behemoth for their lives.

Dolores Park View brings us the tale.

Update: Apparently SFist covered this hours ago.  I should really start reading other blogs.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Car vs. Bank

-Mollie C

Photo by Kati Jackson. Thanks, Kati!