Brand new Benz dons battle armor to park in the Mission District

mercedes benz, bump shox, parking armor, mission district, san francisco, car diaper

Q: How do you protect your brand new Benz when parking in the mission?

A: With padded car diapers!

mercedes benz, bump shox, parking armor, mission district, san francisco, car diaper

Apparently auto armor has evolved beyond the sports (car) bras of yesteryear, but added protection still comes with a price – the price of uglifying your ride with car diapers. Watch out for the “Bump Shox” box up front though – that thing looks like a battering ram!

33 Responses to “Brand new Benz dons battle armor to park in the Mission District”

  1. Yeah says:

    But then you’d still get doored…

  2. ha, armor on a C250 . . . why even bother?

  3. SFkix says:

    Dude, lame. They are called bumpers – for bumping!

  4. jesse says:

    Also, the corners of the back bumper are still exposed; those spots are usually the first to be sullied.

  5. En-Chu Lao says:

    This photo can’t be legit; that Benz is missing the box of Kleenex and stuffed toys on the rear deck.

  6. Hmm says:

    That diaper ain’t safe from MY pee…

  7. nofishtoday says:

    some cholo is gonna key the shit out of that car

    • Neighbor dude says:

      I wish there were still Cholos around…obviously you missed the 70s and 80s here, if you think there are Cholos kickin it and Keying cars. LOLC

      • und1sk0 says:

        yeah gotta head out to silver and san bruno for that :P

      • Jaurito says:

        SFPD is still collecting stock piles of stolen electronics including pagers and nokia brick cell phones right? I’d say the cholos are alive and well in the mission.

        • under the bridge says:

          what is that asinine comment supposed to mean? Do you know what is a Cholo?

          • Jaurito says:

            what that means is… as much as you’d like to blame them for every single problem ever to occur, the fact is: tech yuppies aren’t behind every fuckin theft in the mission.

            Cholo is mexican for asshole who steals shit, right?

        • under the bridge says:

          That was a super lame racist remark down this thread – to which I cannot Reply. I like Cholos in the true sense of the word and culture. You sound like one angry mixed-up herb.

          “Jaurito says:
          January 10, 2013 at 2:47 pm

          what that means is… as much as you’d like to blame them for every single problem ever to occur, the fact is: tech yuppies aren’t behind every fuckin theft in the mission.

          Cholo is mexican for asshole who steals shit, right?”

          • Jaurito says:

            hey blood in blood out bro. Votos Locos 4 evar mayn.

          • Jaurito says:

            Seriously though, righteously indignant ignoramus – How exactly is it that I’m racist for defining Cholos as criminals? or is it that I said “mexican” instead of spanish? It’s definitely not universally a spanish word, it’s specifically a mexican-american coined term. Also it specifically refers to Mexican gangbangers, you know, the sweet and lovable fellas in a turf war, shooting up the mission right now. The one’s who you adore so much and have such appreciation for. What with their rich culture of murder and human trafficking and all. You don’t just get to call all cultures unique and special and beyond reproach under the banner of acceptance douche nuts.

          • under the bridge says:

            @ There aren’t any Cholos left, just bangers, riders, and busters. Saying what you did about Cholos is just ignorant.

          • Jaurito says:

            Cholos ARE bangers. You saying “There aren’t any Cholos left, just bangers, riders, and busters” is like saying “There aren’t any real rockers left, just mush punks, metal heads and skaters” You’re taking a bunch of vague vernacular and trying to differentiate as if they actually fucking mean anything. So go ahead, explain to me your special and unique non-universal definition of a Cholo. Because all of the rest of the modern world defines it as MEXICAN GANGSTER.

          • under the bridge says:

            Pendejo, Cholo is about fashion, lifestyle and pride for la Raza. Bangers no longer give a fuck about that stuff. Walk up to the next lowrider get together and ask if a Cholo is a “Mexican who steals stuff”. Please report back. Look beyond your Wikiscreen for the truth and choose your words with a little more wisdom, lil bitch.

          • Jaurito says:

            Yeah I guess you’re right. It’s just non de-script mexicans who are the assholes that steal shit. I just thought I’d use cholo in the broad derogatory old fashion sense of the word. You’re going for the post-cultural re-empowered and decriminalized sense of the word. Which I don’t care to acknowledge.

          • under the bridge says:

            You just fully clowned yourself. Adios.

          • Jaurito says:

            uh yeah dude… I definitely FEEL fully clowned..

  8. blah says:

    As a guy whose car window has been broken out three times in the last six weeks by some fucking idiot, I can personally attest to the fact that your bumpers are not the greatest area of auto vulnerability when you are in the Mission.

    I’m getting worn out by the constant bullshit of this neighborhood. My car is a fucking Jetta, not a Ferrari. I don’t know why idiots think I have gold bars in there.

  9. und1sk0 says:

    insert snark about bad california drivers.

  10. ska says:

    This comment thread is the most adorable little microcosm of the mission!

    We’ve got the folks who can’t believe someone would put bumpers on $40k worth of garbage, the guys pining for the good ol’ days of yuppie eradication and keying cars, and my favorite: the poor jetta owner, bless his heart, he is so mad–this neighborhood has really gone downhill since he moved here last June.

  11. when i was kickin it down in mexico;a cholo was always understood to be an indian type;kinda like a mextizo;a mixed mexican indian;aqnd/or an indigneous type;not from the immediate area;like an indian from costa rica;or south of mexico city wewe referred to as “cholos”(they were fun to get drunk with)

  12. 17 tooth says:

    Why the hatin on the C250? im not a Merc fan myself but I work on them and those things haul ass for a little 4cyl. They drive killer and look nice except of course that ugly thing with those ridiculous bumper guards on. i would rather have chips but at about $800-$1000.00 to repair a bumper i guess he figured it was worth it.

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