Mission Mission

Charlie HD wasn’t falling for this clever trap on Cesar Chavez, but if I really really really needed to catch a cab in a hurry, I might just dance with the devil.

Of course, I’d probably also have to put in some extra Jesus bounce house time as penance just to be safe…

I just wish that they would actually stop at stop signs…

So I could at least get some non-blurry pics.  To make matters worse, the poor lady across the street dropped her avocados when she was startled by the thunderous roar of the woefully inefficient but sufficiently masculine engines.

Ah, fuck it, I’m not gonna lie.  I’ve wanted one myself ever since this.

Right? At least put that 4×4 power on your gas-guzzling SUV to use one time!

Ok maybe not.

Sorry mister bus driver!

Whenever I see a cool car around the neighborhood, I take pictures and send them to my pal Eric up in Portland who runs Other People’s Things, my favorite car blog. He responds with some knowledge and we post the results here and it’s called “Car Beat.” Here’s what Eric has to say about this sporty little VW:

Even if this happens to be some wacky Burning Man nonsense, it’s still light years behind that douchey pick-up artist van in terms of creepiness factor. And that’s before you throw in the built-in opium den!

Update!!! Apparently this is the same van that was was used as the getaway vehicle by a woman who allegedly smacked an alleged pot grower in the head with a baseball bat and then chased him down Sir Francis Drake Boulevard as he was being driven to the hospital, after which she hid out in Marin and tried to avoid detection by painting over her distinctive van but was subsequently arrested.  Geez, this story is so weird that you just need to read it yourself!  Read more about the initial crime here, and about the subsequent arrest here.

Wow, I sure am glad I didn’t try to get inside that van!

To their credit, at least they’re not blocking the corner ramp. And I guess you’ve got to admit that’s one classy automobile. Just check it out during sunnier, more law-abiding times:

Of course, this thing really needs to be zipping through crowded buildings during high speed capers, and not simply relegated to sidewalk ornamentation.

Readers Meghan and Zach noticed that a meter maid Interceptor (or is it a Cushman?) had flipped on its side, but fortunately the driver appeared to be okay and was climbing up out of the side door.  What follows would perhaps have been the greatest Vine captured in the brief existence of that app, but you’ll have to settle for an animated GIF instead:

Good Samaritans assisted with righting the vehicle, only to have it launch into gear and jump the curb.

Maybe it’s not so safe for Allan to be riding around in those things after all?

Previously:

• Historical Cushman with catechismic surprise
• San Francisco is Cushman Crazy
• Mystery Cushman Spotted?
• Mystery Drunken Golf Cart?

I think we have a serious contender to the legendary Slime Time van.

Next time you’re in the Cesar Chavez and Precita area, please take ten minutes to take in all the incredible things happening on this automobile which, at the bare minimum, can be referred to as the “9/11 Tupac Freedomn van”, but may also be called the “Mushroom pedobear Jesus heart of gold van”:

[click for larger version]

Update 2/1: For more about the sordid nature of this van, head over to Jezebel.

Lyft vehicles are the ultimate hybrids:  taxi, car, and pedestrian, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Perhaps this is revenge for PARKing Day?

You might know Teen Challenge on Valencia as a Christian alcohol/drug abuse recovery support center.

What you might not know is that it’s also a place you can score a set of sweet rims at a decent price.