Mission Mission

Hot local comedian Moshe Kasher hips us to the hot new local hookup:

[via Janebook]

Hey fellas! Her Majesty’s Secret Beekeeper is apparently hosting a singles night!

Seriously though, I stopped in to the storefront near 20th and Mission for the first time this weekend. The honey is pricey at $16, but it doesn’t get much more hyper-local than picking between “Inner Mission Honey” vs. “Mission Dolores Honey”. They all taste very different, which I guess isn’t that surprising given the distinct fauna and odors of each neighborhood.

I think I’ll pass on the “MUNI Tracks Above Dolores Park Honey” variety.

[link]

In case you didn’t know. (Everyone in the men’s room at Homestead knows.)

Sorry about this, but some of the phrases uttered in this video — shot outside a bar ’round closing time on Saturday night — are just too cute not to share.

UPDATE: By popular demand, a transcript:

Boy: Yeah
Girl: You’re a fuckin’ asshole
Boy: Exactly
Girl: And a hipster would never fuckin’ talk that way
Boy: Hipsters do talk that way
Girl: They don’t
Boy: Hipsters are — have you read anything about us?
Girl: They don’t
Boy: We are fucking assholes
Girl: Oh, ’cause you’re so fuckin’ cool, right?
Boy: Exactly
Girl: You’re an asss
Boy: You are an ass
Girl: I’m not!

Girl: –as a cool kid
Boy: Cool kids are bad too
Girl: You’re a fuckin’ ass
Boy: Don’t limit your boyfriend
Girl: Tonight–
Boy: Sugar
Girl: I hope you put your head on the bed and–
Boy: Say something really nasty now
Girl: I’m not going to–
Boy: Try to
Girl: –because I’m a good person
Boy: Try, tryyy!
Girl: I’m not going to
Boy: Try. Feel the darkness coursing through you
Girl: I think you’re a bitch

Girl: You know what? None of this is angering me whatsoever
Boy: You know what? I’m totally zen, so that makes two of us, and we should totally shake on it and fuckin’ do Bikram.
Girl: Bikram?
Boy: Yeah, we don’t do that. I was just leading you on

They totally banged I bet.

[Photo by Chris T.]

There’s something to be said for being honest and up front about being a total creep.

[via lurkskatesf]

Meesha had a fun run-in while waiting for a bus yesterday:

• Heroin Guy: You taking the bus?!?!?! I need the bus to come now! I just need to go to 24th ITS JUST TWO BLOCKS!!!!!! I have blisters on my feet! ITS JUST TWO BLOCKS!!!!! ARE YOU TAKING THE BUS?!?!
• Me: Yeah.
• Heroin Guy: You’re so young! You probably still live with your parents. With your dad, look at your young face, I should take you on a date. Let’s go on a date… How old are you?
• Me: 25.
• HG: You’re not young.
• Me: *STARES. EVIL STARES.*

Read on for the dramatic conclusion.

[Photo by Generik11]

We Built This City (not pictured) recently overheard two women (not pictured) at Mission Cliffs talking about a guy (not pictured):

“He showed up at my house at like 10am yesterday. He was like, ‘I called and you didn’t pick up.’ And I was like, ‘I was walking the dogs — and how many times have I called and you don’t pick up?’ And he was like [fake dude voice] ‘Well I don’t feel like I need to be at your beck and call.’” [link]

Double standards are great, right?

[Photo by Josh Lam]