Mission Mission

Bombshell Betty and Fromagique are hosting a holiday themed stripping burlesque show at the Elbo Room tonight. With names like “Rosy Areola” and “Vadge O’Fonner” how can you go wrong? Fans of boobs artistic expression shouldn’t miss this one.

If that’s not your bag, Evan Francis’ Spaceheater is performing at Coda Lounge as part of Jazz Mafia Tuesdays. Never been to Coda? No biggie, but I guess Stevie Wonder hangs there sometimes. If you like jazz flute over break beats then Evan’s your guy. BTW he’s not the flautist in Anchorman, but apparently they know each other real well. Jazz flautists probably have each other on speed dial to sub out gigs.

Quick, where’s the last place you’d expect a mission tribute band to come from? Concord was my first guess too… but my second was Ontario, Canada. Well it turns out that second guess was spot on!

Sure, be a snob and nitpick the liberal use of autotune and that premature Lady Gaga cover. But dig a little deeper and you’ll see that these guys are genuine mission. First of all, have a look at those jeans. Skinny, right? Next, take a listen to the track “Just Don’t Feel The Same”. What at first appears to be a song about lost love soon brilliantly reveals itself as a lament about a first visit to the Blue Macaw. “So Over You” is a subtle jab at Bi-Rite Market‘s inflated prices. And of course the title track of their EP says it all: “Cryin’ because My Burrito Fell Out Of My Timbuk2 Bag Somewhere Between 19th and 16th.”

In short: if you like the neighborhood, you’ll love the band. Personally, I think they are just ok. Their sound is basically a rehash of Limahl’s groundbreaking work in the fall of ’84.

Oh snap, I’d better watch it. They probably read this.

Went to Dolores Park today around 3:30 PM and happened upon a flash rave. I asked around and found out it was for a birthday party. A largely high school crowd with all the usuals in attendance: Hula-hoop man, Candy Kid, and the Goblin King of course.

At around 4:30 things took a perilous turn. The music silenced, and when the crowd finally stopped groaning we saw a number of paramedics marching up the 19th street entrance. Amidst the revelry a teenage girl had ODed, and was sprawled on her back across a blanket. Three paramedics set to work with a defibrillator and a stomach pump, and after 11 of the most gut-wrenching minutes I’ve had in an era, she came around. We last saw her loaded into the ambulance, which drove away North on Dolores. Who needs a drink?

Anyone else see anything?

Just when you thought cucumbers had it the worst.

Thanks to Junk Thief for illuminating a growing problem in the vegetable community.