Mission Mission

The other day I was in North beach at a fun bar known for its fancy cocktails. The place was pretty packed, so waits were pretty long. To express his frustration, this tool began reaching into the fruit bowl and pawing the fruit. He grabbed lemons and limes, sniffed them, felt them up, then passed them back to his friends so they could do the same.

The problem is, these are the fruits your twists and other garnishes come from. Some of these fruits were already partially zested or whatever, meaning the oils on this guy’s grubby fingers were freely intermingling with the oils in the orange rind adorning my whatever I had.

The bartenders were busy as hell, so they didn’t notice. I was mortified, but the guy was bigger than me and already all aggro, so I didn’t do anything about it. Just made sure to order something without fruit. And took a picture.

Anyway. Drinkers, beware. Bars, maybe keep the fruit behind the bar.

Reader Krissy P. alerts us to this hot item:

2 cans vintage 2010 4 Loko caffeine + alcohol (mission district)

I have two cans of vintage 2010 Four Loko. This is the original formula, chock-full of alcohol, taurine, and caffeine–so powerful the FDA banned it. This is the original Tiger Blood, nevermind 7 gram rocks, Charlie Sheen was shotgunning cans of this stuff. I have one can of Lemon Lime flavor and one can of Lemonade flavor. They’ll be refrigerated and ready for consumption. Best offer gets ‘em. 21+ only please

I wonder why they’re unloading ‘em already. Think how much they’ll be worth in five years! (Maybe they really really need a seven-gram rock.) [link]

Thanks, Krissy!

UPDATE: There’s also a big feature and interview with Four Loko’s founders making the rounds today. It’s hell of long.

But I think they’d be even funnier with a couple minor swaps. Aid Helper is good, but Help Aider would be even better. Du Bang is really good, but Bangd U would just knock me over. That’s all.

Now let’s all listen to some Enya:

Maybe a 4/20 special?

[Photo by Penelope Popsicle]

Totally disgusting! How do you deal?

[Photo by Monkey Tone News]

Swampy’s head is usually just a big ugly skull. So, is he more or less unsettling with clown makeup on? Tough call.

[Photo by Everything Forced]

Eater SF this morning published a list of the 15 Bay Area restaurants with the hottest staffs. The top two are in the Mission. Here’s what they have to say:

2) Heart: Brooding owner Jeff Segal chose a pulsating organ as the logo for his Mission wine bar; he serves wine in Mason jars and describes them with guts. “More soul than Marvin Gaye. This wine just fucking sings,” for example. Add in louche hipster servers and this wild card is not only steaming up the wine scene, but twisting it into bendy new positions.

1) Flour + Water: There’s a beau in the back and the servers can wear whatever they fancy. Our reader favorite is a swarm of plaid-clad, hottie hospitality.

Congrats, all! Read on for lots more hotness.

Does this count as street art or poster art?  I’m on the fence about this.