Mission Mission

Over the weekend, Janebook published a helpful guide to the San Francisco floor drug scene — where to get safe floor drugs, where to avoid sketchy floor drugs, etc. Here’s some analysis of the situations at two popular Mission watering holes:

delirium – you get the satisfaction of knowing that these drugs belonged to one of those lame dudebros who you hate for “ruining the mission” on weekends. this dudebro is (or will be in 20 minutes when he goes to do a bump and can’t find his drugs) hella bummed, and you helped make that happen! but let’s be honest, this shit will be total garbage, i’m talking like you’ll do it all and not even get post nasal drip, and if you’re over 20 you will hate yourself for doing delirium floor drugs.

pops – an enormous, resounding no. you have like, a 50/50 chance of the drugs you find on the floor of this bar being good, which are actually not bad odds as far as floor drugs go. but where will you do them? doing blow in that bathroom is like being trapped on a mission-scumbag tower of terror ride. you WILL be haunted by ghosts of hipsters past, and you will undoubtedly find this to be kind of a buzzkill.

Read on.

Marc found a little present today:

A top-drawer junkie whore left me an extra special gift pack in our sidewalk planter on little Adair Street:

Looks like someone was all dolled up and ready to party every which way with harm reduction.  They even rolled their own chemical free nicotine Buglers.  Clearly this was left from the pimp’s special reserve ho because the shit was so good she forgot she even had anything.

I hear Longshot Magazine hid 12 of these all over the Mission and will be releasing clues on the hour on where to find them! (No, not really)

Just had to stop by the Jimi Hendrix shrine in Renton, WA, on the way to our show with Citay in Olympia.  Judging by the mementos left behind, it appeared that a number of folks had similarly visited to pay their respects.  American flags, beads, flowers of all shapes and colors, Taz (!!!), and . . . what’s this?

I can’t decide who’s the sadder hypothetical person.  The one who was all, “Dude, we have to leave a nug for Jimi!” or his buddy who probably responded with, “Duuuuude, you can’t just leave one nug for Jimi!”

I guess I’ll have to go with C, the inevitable stoner who eventually would stumble onto this scene and think to himself, “Jimi won’t miss these nugs.”

PS.  DO NOT fuck with the Renton PD

Oh Ebert, you mostly get it right, but sometimes you get it so, so wrong.

40 going on 28 has the scoop.

Update: BK says, “He’s making a reference to the film ‘Vertigo,’ in which there’s the line, ‘The Mission? That’s Skid Row, isn’t it?’” That doesn’t change the fact that Endup is on 6th and Harrison, though.

Brainslip brings us some hard-hitting reporting about everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed Mission troubadour/celebrity stalker Omer. So read on if you’re curious about “Omer’s Favorite Breakfast Cereals Of All Time“. (I’m surprised Yoko-O’s didn’t make the list)

He’s back already, wizard staff and all. On top of that, here he is peacefully talking shop with a competitor, the special-brownie hippie lady (SBHL). All is well in the world again. Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria.

Previously:

The End Of An Era In Dolores Park

This week, on Tales of Inappropriate Hippie Dancing: this guy at Amnesia’s happy hour set yesterday:

Psych! There is no such thing as “Tales of Inappropriate Hippie Dancing”, because all the “tales” would be: “Yeah this weird bearded guy came in and started dancing all crazy. First it was funny, then it was sad, then everyone started looking away uncomfortably.”

Still, you gotta admire that I-don’t-give-a-shit-what-you-think attitude, especially since most of us enjoy the music by crossing our arms and nodding subtly behind that invisible 15-foot forcefield around the stage.

The excellent band, by the way, is Seattle’s Casy MacGill’s Blue 4 Trio. They are playing at the Verdi Club on Friday if you’re into this stuff.

Previously:

Dolores Park Interpretive Dancer Takes It All Off

the kind of pic that could kill dolores

By now everyone has already heard about the untimely arrest of Ganja Treats, tossed a nug or two into the compost bin for the homies, and gotten on with their lives, looking ahead in gleeful anticipation to the next weekend in dry heave cavern.  But what if that’s the end of all of it?

Are they only going to be targeting excessive flouting of law like Cold Beer Cold Water up there?  Or is it going to be like this for everybody:

courtesy of S. Pigeon

No one seemed to worry much about anything imminently endangering their quest for fun in the park when word got out last year about this leaked memo to “improve” Dolores Park, dismissing it as just another one of Gideon Kramer’s crazy schemes.  But the City and NIMBY neighbors were patient, knowing that the approaching winter would sanitize the park for a few peaceful months, and everyone would forget about it for a while.  And they prepared.

Now that the days are starting to get longer and warmer, we’re witnessing the initial attempts to define the new “rules” of the park.  They need to be established before the Indian Summer brings out the unmanageable hoards, too dense and populous to effectively police.  No, stories need to get out early about people getting busted in the park so that future visitors will tread carefully, always looking over their shoulder.

Regarding Cold Beer Cold Water, I really feel like his approach endangers the park the most.  The City can enumerate a litany of reasons for which to act:  he could be selling to minors; he’s taking business away from permitted liquor stores in the vicinity; he’s not . . . paying . . . any . . . TAXES!!!  At any rate, we all need to be a little more conscientious and careful, because all the bad Yelp reviews have finally added up, and things are definitely changing.  Anyone go to that last community meeting?

Park with Neighbors courtesy of Telestar Logistics

Ps.  Someone please warn that cute truffle boy before it’s too late!

Previously:

Leaked Memo Reveals Effort to ‘Improve’ Dolores Park

Drinking Beer in the Park

Tiffany Had a Bad Time at Dolores Park, Yelped About It

Dolores Park Aerial

Public Meeting Re: Dolores Park Closure

Well what did you expect to see? I’d personally like to see more lens flares, but it’s still pretty moving.

Walker Dukes’ artist bio:

I do Television shots for fun and make artistic pieces from them as well as more traditional photography and photoshop. My background is film photography from the time I was a kid. I have a BS (no kidding) in Radio and Television Production in 19??? from the University of Florida (Go Gators) {think ? and the Mysterians}. I studied art, photography, PhotoShop and graphic design at various times during the 20th Century at City College of San Francisco. I also currently like to meditate and do a breathing exercise called the 20 Connected Breaths. I like to think it helps me clear away some of the toxins that occur during this life.

(via the always fascinating Flickr Mission District pool)

Don’t count on another MissionMisson contest with this one.  While not quite on par with the “I Lost Me to Meth” PSA’s of two years ago, this cuteness-drenched ad for treatment research at St. Luke’s Hospital on Caesar Chavez and Valencia arrives just in time for the holiday.  Also, don’t be afraid to visit tweaker.org if you really are in need of help.

Oh whatever, let’s make it a contest.  Best meth story in the comments wins the original of this: