Don’t order a double mocha at Philz or they will laugh at you

Our pal Lauren found out the hard way:

Forgetting where I was, I mindlessly ordered a “double mocha” at Philz because it felt like November today. The barista scoffed, looked me up and down and said, “Ashley. Sweetie. You’ve never been here before, have you?” And then everyone behind the counter laughed at me.

And then a bucket of pig’s blood fell on my head.

And that’s why you shouldn’t drink coffee.

[Photo by Hae Eun]

To: Philz; From: Everyone

Merry Christmas to Philz!

The priciest cup in the Mission just got pricier. Starting January 1st, a cup will set you back 25 more cents, while a pound will cost an extra buck. Hey, they’ve got to offset the cost of the cocaine they sprinkle into each scoop somehow.

Jacob Jaber invites you to email him directly if you have questions or concerns at jacobjaber at philzcoffee dot com where you will likely get the autoreply of, ”It’s the economy, guys.”

Head over to anthonybrown’s Flickr for the scoop.

Philz Expansion Planz

As one of the most revered coffee shops (gauged by Craigslist Missed Connections per week) in the Mission, Philz is always on the lookout for ways to increase the number of ways to serve you, the customer.  We’ve seen cupcakes, donuts, and empanadas; but we haven’t truly gotten a sense of the cafe’s plans for 24th Street domination until now, thanks to secret documents recently unearthed by local rabble-rouser brainslip:

El Philzolito
Burritos, tacos, etc. Chipz $0.50.

Porta-Potty packed smokey watering hole.

Palestinian take on upscale sausage.

Phjlz Belgian Phrjtz
Benelux cone-based appetizers.

Read on for the rest.

[Photo by Premshree Pillai]


Deal of the Year: $200 Annual Bottomless Miller Pint at Clooney’s