Mission Mission

New this week at the Dear Mom Kitchen. Bomb.

My friend Alex relocated to New York City a couple years back. Just now she got in touch to tell me about drinks with coworkers:

Alex: hey!
we have a happy hour every few weeks
and tonight’s theme was Argentina
me: fernet?
Alex: so we had Fernet!
yes
le’sigh
me: how’d everybody like it?
Alex: GROSS
this is ROBO’TUSSIN
WHO CHOSE THIS
me: dumb
Alex: cept for the handful of SFers
who were like y’all be dumb
Sent at 3:15 PM on Thursday
Alex: your welcome
K BYE ALLAN
YOU SMELL LIKE FARTS AND SADNESS

New York just doesn’t get it I guess. Thanks, Al!

[Photo by Connie]

Mellow Corn! Straight corn whiskey! Nothin’ but corn! It is VERY mellow!

Now let’s get down:

SFist reports:

As Inside Scoop reports, it’s a German-style pilsner with “a smokey note and Sichuan peppercorns,” and it was produced by Bjergsø’s brewery in Denmark. And the label bears the image of a dragon with Danny Bowien’s face, glasses, and signature skullcap.

It’s not available to the public yet, but keep your eyes peeled. Read on.

#TrickDog new new drink menu: tattooed backwards on the entrails of a galloping unicorn, in a herd of identical unicorns, on another planet.

— Wow Throngs (@wowthrongs) January 11, 2014

Now let’s rock out:

I mean, I dig it, but my friend Paul wants an answer.

[via Paul Suway]

Yesterday we heard about a burrito vending machine and a year old article in Esquire proclaiming El Farolito’s burrito to be the most life changing in America* made the rounds, sparking some inevitable backlash. Today the ol’ HuffPo brings us a video of an amazing burrito cake made by a bakery in Portland** for a wedding.

Watching this makes me hungry and grossed out at the same time. My brain and stomach can’t reconcile what I’m seeing.***

*I would say the super quesadilla suiza is more likely to be life changing. Also, I’m not actually sure how either food changes anyone’s life.

** Artisan Baking Company, name wouldn’t fly in SF because EVERYTHING IS ALREADY ARTISAN.

*** Doesn’t that burrito cake look angry? Like it’s gonna angrily eat you?

LAist has all the details:

Burritobox has launched “the world’s first burrito kiosk,” as they claim on their website. The first box, which looks pretty much like an orange-colored RedBox kiosk, is sitting at the door front of the 24-hour Mobile gas station at 8380 Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood and has been there for a couple of weeks. A second one will be hitting a Century City 76 station come Jan. 18.

Maybe the burritos aren’t nearly as bad as the frozen ones you can find at a 7-Eleven. The company boasts that the ingredients in their 100 percent natural burritos have no hormones or antibiotics, and their breakfast burritos have cage-free eggs. Say what?!

On top of that, the $3 (plus tax) burritos are customizable.The burrito varieties you can choose from include roasted potato with egg and cheese, uncured bacon with egg and cheese, chorizo sausage with egg and cheese, free-range chicken with beans and rice, and shredded beef and cheese, according to the Los Angeles Times.

You can also add sides such as sour cream, Tabasco, and guacamole to your order on the touch screen for an extra fee. After you complete your order, the vending machine plays a music video or ad to entertain you while you wait and then dispenses your burrito within a minute.

Would you try it?

[Via the best blogger in the world, Brock]