Mission Mission

tgifreytag explains that this Hugh D’Andrade creation was the “back cover of the program guide for the 2003 SF Indie Fest.” The more things change, the more they stay the same, right? I mean, nobody would wear a hat like that nowadays, or a shirt like that, and god, look at those sideburns.

But everybody still loves “hipster” humor.

Read the fine print here.

Thanks, khtoo!

Reader John B. found a neat trick:

[Y]ou can turn Dirty Thives back into Treat St. Bar: If [this link] works right, you should be looking at Dirty Thieves @ Treat & 24th. But then if you step forward one click down Treat towards 23rd, you step back in time and see Treat St. Bar.

Thanks, John!

Colleen recently had occasion to take a look at some Sandborn Fire Insurance Maps:

I was looking something up in the fire insurance maps and on a whim looked up the Mission. I’ve attached a couple of screencaps–they’re fun to look at. There was a smithy at 16th and Mission and a Marble Works.

It’d be fun to do something to document all the previous uses of the buildings. I’ve looked into checking out all of the archaeological sites recorded in the area, but if I pulled the reports they’d make me sign a piece of paper that promises to never disclose them. Booo.

Thanks, Colleen! Click maps to enlarge them.

There’s a great discussion going on in the comments section of Tuesday night’s Inner Mission Beer Parlor Is No More post.

On the bar’s new website, they list their phone number as “Mission 8-4104″ (Mission meaning “64″ or “MI”). This led to some discussion about the old days, and then Guero and Johnny0 got into talking about the once-prevalent Mission accent, which apparently was kind of Brooklynish.

Read all about it.

Telstar Logistics just pointed us toward this great map of the network of freeways once planned for San Francisco.

Imagine Golden Gate Park surrounded by freeway. It’s like something out of science fiction! Great names on this thing though: Panhandle Freeway, Circumferential Expressway. “I’ll be there in five; I’ll just hop on the Circ Ex.”

Link, or click map to make it way bigger.

Update: Burrito Justice linked to this map in last week’s post about the Mission Freeway, and I didn’t even recognize it. Link.

Oh, that‘s what that was. Thanks, Burrito Justice post about the Beer & Nosh beer dinner!

Update: Beah says, “Also, it’s the site of Harriet’s apartment from So I Married an Axe Murderer.”

Back in June of 1995, a fucking fire engine fucking jumped the curb and fucking took out a fucking cafe. From the Chronicle coverage:

A popular Mission District cafe was wrecked yesterday after two San Francisco fire engines collided in an intersection and one sailed into the restaurant’s front windows.

Eight firefighters were injured in the crash and were taken to hospitals. The accident occurred at 5:36 p.m. and tied up traffic in the area for hours.

“It was like an action movie,” said Brent Coffin, 27, who has worked as a cook for three years at the demolished Radio Valencia at the corner of 23rd and Valencia streets. “There was a huge ka-boom, with glass and water from the hoses flying in all directions.”

Link. “Sailed.” Holy Moses!

Thanks, zinzin, for the tip and the badass photo!

Badass photo by Liz Hafalia, I think.

Full text of the report after the jump, just in case that link is some kind of temporary file or something (document begins with “$temp$”):

Update: Better link. (Thanks, Max!)

Subtlety in Excess just shone a nice spotlight on the photography of Dizzy Atmosphere. Dizzy’s photostream is four decades of street scenes and portraits from the Mission, Greater San Francisco and beyond. Peruse it for a gnarly series on house movers in the Western Addition, tons of great portraits of San Franciscans out on the street, and artful compositions as far as the eye can see.

Original Subtlety in Excess post is here, and note that though they’re headquartered in New York, they took some photos of their own in the Mission recently. See them here.

Last month, we asked readers to identify the sound of the Mission. Emily and others suggested that it might be beloved but long-gone punk band Hickey.

Hickey is my new favorite band. Largely due to a couple things: 1.) The above picture of a group of their fans watching them perform at Mission Records in 1996, and 2.) the Voodoo Glow Skulls controversy:

Probe records released a 7″ which was made to look as if it were a split between Hickey and the Voodoo Glow Skulls. On one side of the 7″ was the Hickey song “Food Stamps and Drink Tickets” and the other side members of Hickey played the trumpet that was stolen from Voodoo Glow Skulls over the answering machine messages left by Voodoo Glow Skulls members and Epitaph Records employees demanding the return of the instrument. The 7″ also falsely had the Epitaph Records logo on the back as Epitaph had no official part in the release.

According to the zine included with the 7″ the two bands played together at the now closed Nile Theater in Mesa, Arizona. Matty Luv, singer of Hickey, made disparaging remarks about Epitaph Records and the commercialization of punk. After members of both bands had a confrontation, the Voodoo Glow Skulls convinced the venue owner to eject Hickey without pay. In response, Hickey stole the trumpet in question out of the Voodoo Glow Skulls van.

After receiving threatening messages on their answering machine, Hickey filled the trumpet with pudding and returned it.

Lucky for us, somebody is maintaining a site dedicated to Matty Luv’s memory, on which are archived mp3s of pretty much the entire Hickey catalog, including the aforementioned split single. The Hickey side is a keeper, but the Voodoo Glow Skulls side is simply astonishing. I’d transcribe some of the lunacy, but you’ve really just got to hear it for yourself.

Matty Luv memorial website is here. Hickey discography is here. Or go directly to the jawbreakingly hysterical “Voodoo Glow Skulls Death Threats” here.

Note that the Voodoo Glow Skulls are playing Slim’s tonight as part of the Ska Is Dead Tour.

“Hickey @ Mission Records – 1996″ photo by Dave Morffy.

This one comes courtesy of Todd Lappin. Lucky bastard has this beauty hanging on his wall at home (Click on it to see everything in much greater detail). Note that some of us are living in areas that once were called such fanciful things as Beatty Willows, Horner’s Addition, Franconia, and Section 16.

And that the street north of Army was called Navy! How do you like them apples?

Thanks, Todd!