Mission Mission

Missed Connections brings us a cautionary tale of feet and socks and couches at cafes:

Quick etiquette tips to the cafe goer (mission district)

• Do not remove your shoes in a cafe.
• Do not then wind those sweaty-ass feet under you on the couch.
• Especially don’t do that when your fucking socks LOOK LIKE THIS.

Seriously. It’s fucking gross.

Seriously.

Now can we determine which cafe this is so we can all stay the hell off that couch?

Aw, hell naw:

The highlight of the night was pouring out beers for drinking in public, but that’s OK because these bad guys respected us for doing it, they knew this was breaking the law.

The question is, what kind of beers? Hopefully no local microbrews.

All this comes from their latest patrol report. The report also indicates that they accosted and handcuffed a kid for MUNI fare evasion. Apparently, it’s ok to slap handcuffs on a total stranger. If I wasn’t such a pussy, I might be inclined to say something slightly unflattering about these guys.

[via San Francisco Citizen]

Update: Our pal Joshua comments:

actually it looks like they handcuffed one of their own incognito. Then again, their writing is so god-awful I can’t really tell what they’re trying to say.

Previously:

Guardian Angels Patrol Walgreens, Call Vic Wong a Pussy

This one was fucking WELDED ON. And still gone in 60 seconds. Its owner left the bike locked up Valencia Street near 16th — for no more than four minutes. And solid gone.

Apparently this doesn’t only happen in the Tenderloin.

WELDED ON.

Carin sends us word of another stabbing that took place near the Dolores Park last night (2am):

I live on 20th and Church and there was a crazy stabbing on our block last night, at the steps on top that link to Sanchez. My roommate just told me, I somehow slept through out it…. around 2 AM they heard loud screams, a prostitute was stabbed by this guy, the john.

She was stabbed in the neck and managed to get herself to a neighbor’s house who helped give her first aid until an ambulance guy. A bunch of police showed up, and the guy fled. They brought the woman into the ambulance, she seemed alive. Don’t think they found the guy

Yikes. Stay safe, folks.

The San Francisco Guardian Angels brought their stoic brand of street justice to the Mission on 9/17 and posted the patrol log today.

Did you think standing around in a line with your arms folded neatly is all it takes to be an Angel? Think again! They also do litter clean-up:

Same old story, the bad guys see us they run that way and they this way, but they leave and it calms down. But we just don’t leave that fast, the second team stays posted up at the BART STATION while the first team checks the alleys. First team then arrives back to the BART STATION to the second team to advise us, they pick up dirty needles and that the alley is all clear.

Special shout out to 16th St. Walgreen’s, everyone’s favorite crime-fighting resource:

Next we get to our rest stop WALGREEN’S, bathroom break, smoke break, and water break. If we did not do this or if we did not have this Resource, we could not stay out as long as we could.

Read the rest of their patrol log at the SF Guardian Angels blog.

That’s right, somebody scrawled “GOD IS DEAD” on the door of a church in the Mission. Is it a hate crime? Was it KKKatie, out on bail? Or is it viral marketing for some new show on FX?

Click here to view the full photo by photographer Oscar Arriola.

We’ve got a couple of cute comment threads going on the Mission Mission Facebook wall right now. Check it out if you want a little more context. And I guess watch your back if you run into Trixie at Dolores Park. Colby, see you in 17.

We may have been duped, folks. Elle Ko, the girl we thought might have been “the next KKKatie,” yesterday tweeted this casual plug for an upcoming Levi’s promotional event. Is there really a court date? Does Elle really exist? What used garment are you going to trade for trade for a brand-new pair of Levi’s?

Here is Elle’s Twitter, and here is Elle’s tweet.

Related:

KKKatie’s Court Date

And Just Like That, the Levi’s Workshop Is Gone

More carson! Nick Fisher was on the scene last night.

“The fire somehow turned on the horn and headlights which were both blasting for the duration.”

“[The firemen] are trying to get the hood off to put out the fire still burning under there. Eventually they sawed it off.”

Just a week and a half since  2 cars on 18th Street were torched in a row. Still not cool, bro.

UPDATE: Thanks to actual journalism, The SF Appeal gets the official story so far:

“[A]ccording to SFPD spokesperson Sgt. Michael Andraychak, the arson task force has determined that the fire was accidental in nature, and is not believed to be connected to last week’s intentionally set fires.

Andraychak, who says he spoke directly with arson investigators, confirms Talmadge’s report that the fire began in one car, then spread to the second. God, sucks for the second guy, doesn’t it? Best of luck to all in dealing with that insurance claim.“

The Boo Blog tells us what it’s like to see a shooting in the Mission, and then think about it nonstop afterward.

Here’s the event:

I saw a kid in a red hoodie pointing his gun at another young man. I don’t remember what either looked like. I told the student I was working with to get behind something and I did the same, not that it mattered. The shooter was, after all, a kid, and like a kid, once the shots were fired, he ran away. I never saw his face, but I could tell by the way he was running that he was as scared as the kid he was shooting at.

Here’s a thought on the aftermath:

City blocks are resilient things. People say that about nature, but city blocks are amazing to me because they are complete neutral–they are created and recreated daily by the people who live on them. After the police were gone and people stopped making dumb comments like the one I made, the block has returned to being the same kind of ugly/beautiful urban block it had been before.

And there’s plenty more. Read on.

Photo by Cheatara.