Mission Mission

Mission Local reports:

The 37-year-old victim ended his picnic early and thirsty.

He was sitting in Dolores Park at 8:30 p.m. Wednesday when a 20-something male approached him, pulled out a knife and demanded a beer, police reported.

The suspect then decided he wanted more than one. He took the 12-pack and fled.

Wow, man. That’s a way better story than the thing I saw at Dolores Park last night. Watch your backs.

Read on.

[Photo by Paul Mison]

UPDATE: Our buddy Lindsey adds another perspective:

I can’t tell which kind of racism this is. Is it like, “All white are siiick, bro!” Or is it that all white people are sick in the head?

Or is it just a comment on how white people all have allergies and stuff all the time and black people somehow don’t?

[via cashmoneybaby]

Just for today at least. As a way to get the students the bring up their low California Standard Test scores, the principal of Mission High (who may be the coolest principal ever) gave them a challenge: raise your scores, and you get one of the following — giant carnival with a dunk tank, famous chefs cooking school lunch, or the opportunity to film him dancing the macarena. The students chose wisely. SFoodie has the important details:

Frances: Lamb confit sandwich on brioche bun with asparagus-potato salad
Slanted Door: Chicken or vegetarian curry with rice noodles
Delfina: Lumachine (shell-shaped pasta) with Sunday Supper sauce
Bi-Rite: Barbecue brisket sandwich with coleslaw and potato salad

DAMN!!

Read more about how these kids are about to get down on some awesome lunch options while you and I chow down on our turkey sandwiches we made this morning while half asleep.

[photo by Uncle Lynx]

In case you missed my Vietnam live-blogging last month, I picked up some distinctively shitty coffee during my travels. Literally shitty. This coffee is called Kopi Luwak, and it has the unique production process of being eaten by a weasel, shat out, and roasted. It is the most expensive coffee in the world, which obviously means it’s the best. Funny, because you’d think it would be number 2.

After my post, several junkies predictably came forward and took my open invitation to try it out. In fact, most “coffee people” who hear about this crap don’t think twice about giving it a sip. What is it about coffee? I mean, I also love pizza, but if you told me the best pizza was the kind regurgitated by bears I would probably pass.

Anyway, I invited a crack-team over to sample this stuff with the condition that they write down their thoughts for the rest of you to enjoy. Read on, if you want to get the poop, err scoop:

(more…)

And get dizzy doing it.

Cinco de Mayo — the holiday that commemorates the Mexican army’s victory over the French in 1862, but better known as yet another reason to take countless tequila shots and get plastered on a Thursday night, has arrived.  But what to do?  Where to go?  Here are some helpful hints for those looking to to have what I can only promise as a righteous hangover Friday morning:

• Madrone Art Bar: I know this isn’t in the Mission, but check it:  FREE Papalote burritos.  FREE!  Party starts at 6pm, burritos start at 10pm, and 5 different DJ’s will be spinning all night long.
• El Rio: They’ll be hosting a special presentation of Red Hot Burlesque Presents: Go Deep, Let’s Wrestle At El Rio!  I know this has nothing to do with Cinco de Mayo, but it looks super crazy — from El Rio’s  website: Come with your sense of humor and get ready to ogle, hoot and holler. Every show features hot bods, pasties, outrageous costumes, a lot of humor and, of course, bumpin’ and grindin’! With a rotating cast of over 500 people all over the world. This show includes local and visiting talent! A show with out boundaries including bizarre beauties and senseless sideshow. Not for the faint of heart or weak of humor.
• Dolores Park:  Actually happening on the 7th of May, the “alcohol free and family friendly” festival celebrating Cinco de Mayo will be going on from 10am until 6pm.  More details over at MissionLocal.
• Brick and Mortar Music Hall: Dance all night to samba and electro-pop at this brand new venue that just opened at Mission and Duboce, according to Eater SF.
• Free cab rides! Woohoo!

I’m pretty positive that anywhere you go, whether it be your favorite taqueria or bar will have some sort of margarita special going on, so it won’t be too difficult to find SOMETHING to do.

[Photo by Misenberg13]

Bro makes a phone call:

Hello? I’m in Dolores Park! DOLORES PARK! Where you at? No, we just got out of a Taxi! Where? What is that? Okay, where? 15th and Valencia? Okay.

Bros walk north on Dolores Street, toward 15th Street, stopping after a few yards to yell up at a house across the street:

15th Street! Which way is 15th Street?? 15TH STREET!!! Oh, okay. Cool.

Bros immediately dash into the street, and have to stop on a dime in the median to avoid getting steamrolled by the oncoming platoon of cars and trucks that are honking at them.

Hope they made it to… the Royan Hotel?

Dolores!

Duh!

[via Carlos and Carina]

Also, this.

As if navigating Market wasn’t already an obstacle course.  Now they’re just making it interesting!

Previously:

• Taxi strikes cyclist who happens to be me
• Cyclist down at Fremont and Market

Ah, spring – that special time of year when the sun’s axis showers the Mission with scores of light buttons in all shapes and sizes. This year’s crop is already looking brilliant – the past week’s abundance of sun and 80 degree weather has them bursting at the seams across the street from Hog & Rocks.