Mission Mission

Burgertime! Mr. P sure looks like he’s in bad shape though

You can play this game at Thieves on 14th, which is now open during the day!

Cheese rules. Sorry, vegans.

Or was it something else?

Anyways, I like cake a lot too.

It’s a dead cock.

(Thanks, Lizzy!)

Gnarly!

Carlos Reyes on his way home this evening witnessed some aftermath:

the corner popeye’s is on was closed off via police tape. a few cop cars too. heard people around saying there was a shoot out, dunnnooo….

UPDATE: Was a stabbing it was. (Thanks, Rebecca.)

You guys! It’s a weird Monday night. Let’s go to the Knockout and see some rock ‘n’ roll! Wild Gift are playing first, at like 9:00.

They’re super fun, and perhaps they’ll explain what their song Alaskan Thunderfuck is all about. And look how cute they are!

There is hope for humanity after all! Andrea sent us an update on the naked lady painting that was jacked from the Homestead last week:

Through our special bartending investigative methods, we were able to contact the guilty party who had rented the room that Monday night. After a few days, the painting was returned via messenger. We’re happy to have her back and will be taking further methods to assure that all the naked ladies in the bar are permanently secured to the walls. The woman who stole it has been permanently 86′d.

Hear that? Per the new policy, if you’re a lady and you plan on being naked at Homestead, you will be permanently secured to the wall. Keep your clothes on.

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that Clueless is the movie of our generation. And now some nice folks want to bring it to the stage. They’re calling their performance “AS IF! Like, a performance, DUH!” and they need some help with funding. Our buddy Lux tells us more:

It’s being put together by Mission locals and performed at a warehouse  at 17th and Capp. This project is going to rule!! The show begins in early April, and there is going to be and opening party Sat. March 12th with rad bands like Boys IV Men at Project One Gallery.

See the AS IF! Kickstarter page for complete details, a rad promotional video and more.

Renée (pictured) walks us through a tough one:

“We like brain puzzles here. Do you like brain puzzles?”

I can’t think of anything I like less, sir.

He begins. “Get out some paper.”

“You have 22 socks in a drawer. Half are red, half are green. If you are choosing them randomly, how long before you have a pair?”

The answer is three, of course. And I come to that eventually, though not before I am done administering fractional half-lives and pension plans for each individual sock.

“Simple thinking is the virtue of the unimaginative!” I say, losing.

You see, she’s too creative a thinker for her own good. Read on for more brain puzzles and whimsy.

Previously:

Monday Morning Fashion Triumph