Birthday-watt

There are about 500 bars in town, which means that there are about 10 birthdays a week. This past Monday, Kilowatt had it’s 20th birthday, reverting back to 1994 pricing and attitude.

I mean, everyone was super chill, there were a multitude of tasty beers and a steady stream of tunes from the 19nineties. Most beers were $3 and pool was 25¢, meaning that $10 could buy two beers, a congratulatory shot for the bartender, then a game of play with a quarter you found. Also, this totally happened at the table.

So, what do you think about wishing your favorite bar down the street a happy birthday? It’s probably soon.

I mean, Racer 5 for $3 is excellent

[Thanks @ckchew]

Goat tote

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It’s not everyday that you see a guy with a billy goat beard toting a lifelike goat (with a billy goat beard). Also, that’s a lot of strollers.

Toddler carrying mannequin legs down Valencia

While not quite as mesmerizing as Helen’s iconic “Toddler dragging a saw,” this little guy’s still got loads of panache.  Let’s just hope that he doesn’t settle for Nizario’s cardboard fare and instead treks just a few doors down to Arinell so he can enjoy the best slice of pizza in the city.

UPDATE!!! Helen is way better at headlines than me.  Here’s her glorious take on the situation:

“Toddler dragging saw grows up, saws off some woman’s legs”

[Photo by Zach]

A discount arsonist attempted to burn down Foods Co.

On Monday evening, a suspect armed with a knife and some lighter fluid stepped into the Foods Co. grocery store on Folsom & 14th Streets, and attempted to set fire to the place.

The incident occurred around 6:30 p.m. on Monday evening — prime dinnertime shopping hours for everyone’s favorite discount grocer. According to fire department officials, the suspect entered and “started pouring lighter fluid on the floor.” Bay City News has more:

The suspect was waving a knife and set the floor on fire, police said.

The fire department responded and quickly put the fire out. Two of the store’s employees were taken to a hospital for treatment of smoke inhalation, police said.

Police quickly arrested the suspect, identified as Shaun Lavell Jones, 24. Jones was born a male but identifies as a female, police spokesman Officer Albie Esparza said.

According to police, Jones was booked on suspicion of burglary and arson. It is currently unclear why exactly anyone would want to burn down a grocery store with such delightful soda can displays.

[via: SFAppeal]

[Photo via: Street View]

City Hall will finally revise fascist anti-arcade game legislation

Some 30 years ago, your San Francisco forefathers deemed it necessary to protect the youth of tomorrow by limiting the number of pinball and arcade game machines based on a business’ square footage or their proximity to schools. Presumably, they felt the change-powered entertainment craze would pluck quarters from the pockets of unsuspecting children and rot their tiny brains with too much Elvira and the Party Monsters. In other words, during the 80s the city decided to limit pinball machines in the same way we currently restrict where pot clubs can open and where the taco trucks can park. That anti-arcade legislation is expected to be revised today thanks to prevailing common sense and some hard working pro-pinball activists.

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Large, intentionally messy game of Twister coming to Dolores Park next weekend

Next Saturday Sunday, Dolores Park will get a big, messy game of Twister involving paint, water balloons and a group of folks looking to check something whimsical off their bucket list.

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“Fair warning” to hipsters and yuppies

A new tag on Samy’s Liquors at 24th and Bryant makes some pretty clear threats to a couple broad swaths of people. It instructs to kill hipsters and yuppies, two hard to define groups that were often derided among taggers in the last decade, but makes no mention of techies, the neighborhood slur du jour.

This is my fair warning to the hipsters + the yuppies!!
Get the [fuck?] Up Out the MISSION!! Before this [shit?] starts getting UGLY!!
you got 6 Months, Keep it Kickin!! If you don’t, it won’t be funny!
I Guarantee my Soldiers will GLADLY Come Out GUNNIN!!

There is an 80s action hero living in Bernal Heights

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You can tell by those rad laser parallelogram decals and that sweet teardrop window:

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If the A-Team ever gets back together, that’d make a mighty fine ride! And if the situation calls for a bit more maneuverability, he’s got you covered too:

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If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe . . . you can finally pick up that antique secretary desk you found on Craigslist.

Anchor your anchor

Time for another roundup of curious things we’ve seen locked to bike racks:

And remember, everyone:

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope. -Epictetus

[via Less Jokes]

Ellis Acting a 98 year old

Another week, another use of the Ellis Act to evict long time SF residents. 98 year old Mary Phillips has lived on Dolores Street for 50 years, and she’s now being told that she has to leave by her landlord, a real estate company called Urban Green Investments. According to KRON 4, when she heard the news, Mary said “I didn’t sit down and cry, I just refused to believe it. They’re going to have to take me out of here feet first.” She says that she has never been late on her rent and has nowhere else to go. Heartbreaking. This is really where we’re at.

Way back in DotCom1 when my single mom and I were illegally evicted from our Dolores Street apartment, the Tenants Union was a big help. You can become a member or donate to them on their site.

UPDATE: According to Business Insider, Urban Green has released a statement revealing that they will allow Mary Phillips to remain in her apartment for the rest of her life, rent free.

“Contrary to recent reports, we have always planned to provide for Mary in this way,” said McCloskey. “We have made no comment about Ms. Phillips’ situation to this date as we have been negotiating with her attorney in good faith, but the recent media reports have made today’s comment necessary in order to clarify the facts.”

UPDATE 2: According to some, the deal that McCloskey wrote to Business Insider about was never acceptable to Phillips. The larger issue for her may be that her caregiver, Sarah Brandt, is still being evicted, making the living situation too unsafe for Phillips to remain. Though I’m seeing conflicting takes on who’s offering what and when they offered it. More on Brandt and her relationship with Phillips here.