What is poop?

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Poop is art. If you don’t believe me, just ask the wall of butts at ATA.

Life Tip: Eat more pie (from Chile Pies)

Each week on Roll Over Easy we share life tips, which are simple tips that we think the humans of San Francisco can use to improve their lives a bit, and we’re more than happy to repeat some of these tips here.

Two statements you never hear are, “I just eat pie all the time” and “I was eating this pie the other day and I was so angry”. So this week’s tip is simple: Do yourself a favor and eat a slice of pie. While Mission Pie is obviously the local favorite, I’m confident in saying that the best pie around is the Lemon Butter pie from Chile Pies. Behold, a very delicious pie:

Today’s edition of Your Constantly Changing Neighborhood

First, Hoodline has the renderings of the condos that will replace Flax Art & Design. After years of their wooden guy trying to take down Travelodge, they finally lost the battle. The new condos will pay homage to San Francisco’s rich architectural history and – oh wait, it’s just another big boxy building.

[via Hoodline]

Next, Uptown Almanac reports that after thirteen years, Therapy’s furniture store on Valencia will close at the end of this month. The landlord increased their rent from $5,700 to $10,500, so, make of that what you will. It’s hard to remain shocked at this point.

[UPDATE: Image by Google Streetview inserted to clarify that the furniture store, on the left, is closing, while the clothing store is remaining open]

From UA:

In conversation, Whelan mentioned that he was never late on rent, and that there is simply “more demand for [Valencia Street] than there is Valencia.” Whelan believes that with the average “consumer on Valencia Street [being] a hyper-affluent tech person,” a Valencia Street store “becomes a billboard to promote [a company’s] brand.” The outrageous rent paid simply becomes another line item in a company’s marketing budget.

You know, like Times Square or something. Cool. Awesome. Love it. I’m sorry, I’m trying not to be so negative. But this neighborhood is being smothered by a huge pile of money. Speaking of money, you can save some by taking advantage of Therapy’s clearance sale!

Birthday-watt

There are about 500 bars in town, which means that there are about 10 birthdays a week. This past Monday, Kilowatt had it’s 20th birthday, reverting back to 1994 pricing and attitude.

I mean, everyone was super chill, there were a multitude of tasty beers and a steady stream of tunes from the 19nineties. Most beers were $3 and pool was 25¢, meaning that $10 could buy two beers, a congratulatory shot for the bartender, then a game of play with a quarter you found. Also, this totally happened at the table.

So, what do you think about wishing your favorite bar down the street a happy birthday? It’s probably soon.

I mean, Racer 5 for $3 is excellent

[Thanks @ckchew]

Goat tote

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It’s not everyday that you see a guy with a billy goat beard toting a lifelike goat (with a billy goat beard). Also, that’s a lot of strollers.

Toddler carrying mannequin legs down Valencia

While not quite as mesmerizing as Helen’s iconic “Toddler dragging a saw,” this little guy’s still got loads of panache.  Let’s just hope that he doesn’t settle for Nizario’s cardboard fare and instead treks just a few doors down to Arinell so he can enjoy the best slice of pizza in the city.

UPDATE!!! Helen is way better at headlines than me.  Here’s her glorious take on the situation:

“Toddler dragging saw grows up, saws off some woman’s legs”

[Photo by Zach]

A discount arsonist attempted to burn down Foods Co.

On Monday evening, a suspect armed with a knife and some lighter fluid stepped into the Foods Co. grocery store on Folsom & 14th Streets, and attempted to set fire to the place.

The incident occurred around 6:30 p.m. on Monday evening — prime dinnertime shopping hours for everyone’s favorite discount grocer. According to fire department officials, the suspect entered and “started pouring lighter fluid on the floor.” Bay City News has more:

The suspect was waving a knife and set the floor on fire, police said.

The fire department responded and quickly put the fire out. Two of the store’s employees were taken to a hospital for treatment of smoke inhalation, police said.

Police quickly arrested the suspect, identified as Shaun Lavell Jones, 24. Jones was born a male but identifies as a female, police spokesman Officer Albie Esparza said.

According to police, Jones was booked on suspicion of burglary and arson. It is currently unclear why exactly anyone would want to burn down a grocery store with such delightful soda can displays.

[via: SFAppeal]

[Photo via: Street View]

City Hall will finally revise fascist anti-arcade game legislation

Some 30 years ago, your San Francisco forefathers deemed it necessary to protect the youth of tomorrow by limiting the number of pinball and arcade game machines based on a business’ square footage or their proximity to schools. Presumably, they felt the change-powered entertainment craze would pluck quarters from the pockets of unsuspecting children and rot their tiny brains with too much Elvira and the Party Monsters. In other words, during the 80s the city decided to limit pinball machines in the same way we currently restrict where pot clubs can open and where the taco trucks can park. That anti-arcade legislation is expected to be revised today thanks to prevailing common sense and some hard working pro-pinball activists.

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Large, intentionally messy game of Twister coming to Dolores Park next weekend

Next Saturday Sunday, Dolores Park will get a big, messy game of Twister involving paint, water balloons and a group of folks looking to check something whimsical off their bucket list.

(more…)

“Fair warning” to hipsters and yuppies

A new tag on Samy’s Liquors at 24th and Bryant makes some pretty clear threats to a couple broad swaths of people. It instructs to kill hipsters and yuppies, two hard to define groups that were often derided among taggers in the last decade, but makes no mention of techies, the neighborhood slur du jour.

This is my fair warning to the hipsters + the yuppies!!
Get the [fuck?] Up Out the MISSION!! Before this [shit?] starts getting UGLY!!
you got 6 Months, Keep it Kickin!! If you don’t, it won’t be funny!
I Guarantee my Soldiers will GLADLY Come Out GUNNIN!!