Mission Mission

So because ‘sk8 or die’ is basically my motto and Muni is basically my municipal transit of choice, I’m really into this deck:

I’d tailslide the shit out of that thing, then stalefishgrab it and top it all off with a motherfucking sausage grind.

This website rules, btw. Read more about the actual board on Muni Diaries.

I’ll be done with this joke soon, guys, I promise.

Folsom Street Fair this weekend!  Time to get sexy with some beefy dudes.

The fair goes from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. and will be affecting the following Muni lines:

6 Parnassus
9 San Bruno
12 Folsom-Pacific
14 Mission
19 Polk
26 Valencia
30 Stockton
47 Van Ness
49 Mission-Van Ness

Basically, don’t take the bus.  Get on your bike, fatty.

[Source: SF Appeal]

You guys!  I love love,  Muni, and Missed Connections, which is why I so thoroughly enjoyed this post on Muni Diaries, as well as it’s accompanying photo:

Romance on public transit!  From Flickr user jenmaiser.

Alexander Crane’s missed connection occurred a few months ago; I’m curious to hear whether the babe with the feather earrings ever got in touch.   Alexander or feather babe: write in!

And lastly: Muni Diaries asks for Muni missed  connections and thus, I will follow suit and request that you send Mission Mission your Mission missed connections.  Send love notes to: missionmissionmission at gmail dot com.

Seriously, I’ll get you a girlfriend with bangs and pretty eyes in no time.

SFist has the scoop:

You might remember the incident, huh? About 9:45pm last night, heading north. Why would I know the time, well I had to look at my cell phone to keep my eyes from looking over as you pulled his cock through his jeans and into your mouth.

How could we all not notice you? You were so ugly and those boobs were so little it was just obvious. Then the guy you were with looked like Billy Bob Thorton in “Slingblade”. Except even weirder looking. Quite a pair.

It gets better and better. Link.

Sitting on the good old bus 49 over the weekend, I came across something that is rarely seen in San Francisco – a bus driver who fought for his fare. All too often the driver doesn’t even glance at my MUNI pass and I go for days without actually needing it, wondering why I even waste the $45 dollars each month. That is a lot of ice cream at Bi-rite, well, not really all that much.

But this driver was tenacious. He kicked a middle aged man off the bus for using a senior pass. When someone got in through the back door, the driver refused to budge the bus until this man showed him his transfer. Because this man pretended he didn’t know the bus driver was talking to him for a full minute (sitting down), flashed his transfer (and sat back down), went to the front of the bus to show his expired transfer (and sat back down), and then finally came up with the necessary $1.50 (and sat back down!), we sat on the street for a good 3 minutes not moving. My ride from 26th street to 16th street took 15 minutes.

On one hand, I had places to go and things to see.

On the other hand, I was secretly happy.

But then I think about how incredibly long it would take to get the bus moving if everyone went in through the front door: stops at 24^th and 16^th street would probably take at least an extra minute or two. And then I get angry at the people who go out the front door who have clear access to the back doors and who are in no way physically challenged. I am even occasionally upset with the old people who insist on pulling carts everywhere – if you have enough gumption to pull a wheeled basket up onto the bus, you are strong enough to exit through the back door.

Bus rides are often long and angry for me.

And then I read how poor MUNI is, and how they are thinking of raising the monthly fare. Couldn’t I just send 10 people to the front of the bus to pay their fare and add my extra $15 dollars that way? Maybe by making people follow the few simple rules about entering, exiting, and paying fares, not only would we have a better funded system, but is possible it would no longer be one of the slowest public transport systems in the nation.

I need a bike.

This innovation allows for a pleasantly hands-free bus ride. Simple, elegant. I’m sending this to Street Use.

Even before anything happened, I noticed this guy had a camera on his dash. Then as he’s merging back into traffic after making a stop at Mission & Valencia, some Dodge Durango douche cuts us off. Guy grabs his camera, fumbles with it, boots it up — whilst piloting an eighty-foot articulated Muni bus mind you — and starts snapping pics, presumably of dude’s license plate. So I guess, motorists, don’t mess with the 49.

02-03-08_0038, originally uploaded by allanhough.

So wtf are these anyway?