Mission Mission

Hey guys, don’t forget to go to Uptown Almanac‘s locally-sourced stand-up comedy show tonight. It’s all local comics! Sure, these folks might not be interviewed on WTF in the near future, but they will probably tell more jokes that are specific to your San Franciscan sensibilities, like “what is the deal with gum on the sidewalk” and “why are people in their mid-to-late 30′s in love with Sutro tower?” Plus, bragging rights. In 10 years you can say you saw them all before they had failed sitcoms.

It’s only $7 at the door and if you’re not ready to laugh the cover includes enough free PBR to make anyone funny.

Edit: It wasn’t my intention to trash these comics or Uptown Almanac, if that’s what came across. I was making some probably poor-taste jokes about careers in stand up comedy in general (too much listening to Mark Maron). I sincerely apologize if this was taken that way. We have supported these comics and this event before and think they are great. I will be there. Needless to say, I will not be performing comedy.

Last year’s hipster to-do list was one of our most popular posts ever, so finding a good sequel has been high on our to-do list ever since. This one might be a winner:

I mean, it’s strong right off the bat with the ukelele thing, and the gym thing and “motorcycle ok” are just killer, but it’s the SXSW that really just slays me.

And if you’re not already following The Fog Bender religiously, get on it.

Brick & Mortar is fast becoming my preferred music hall. It’s so close to home, AND they’re hosting a lot of killer lineups! Give a quick listen to the new album by Cosmonauts, which is kind of surfy and kind of Velvet Undergroundy:

To buy tickets and read more about all the bands, see here.

To win tickets, tell us your best fuzz-related anecdote in the comments section below. Winner will be chosen based on merit and awarded a pair of tickets. Contest ends Thursday at noon.

Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: Fresh Prince (thanks, Dolores Park port-a-potty graffiti!)

— Helen Tseng (@birdmeat) June 10, 2012

LOL!

Is what I’m most looking forward to on tonight’s menu from sous beurre kitchen, which is popping up at Dear Mom every Monday night in June:

Heirloom cauliflower gratin with farmstead cheese something something, grilled broccolini and something!?! Fuck yeah! Starts at 5:00!

[via Merlin Mann]

Joe Montana from Rickshaw Bagworks gives us the skinny:

We’re excited to announce the MORE! City Tote.

Each bag is:
• Made from scratch in our own SF factory
• Features a special edition print by San Francisco artist Jim Winters.
• Donates 25% of each sale to the SF LGBT Center

This new drag bag is based on our City Tote and as you can see the bag is pretty loud (I mean there’s a rainbow coming out of our famous cable car) so we’ve made it in two options “Pop!” and “Subtle” for the more subdued supporter.

Last year the MORE! Messenger bag + Juanita MORE! Pride Party ticket sales helped raise over $27,000 for the GSA network and we’re hoping to push that number again this year.

Sounds good to me! Buy the bag (and see the “Subtle” version) here.

To win one, tell us your best Pride-related anecdote. (Mine would be the time I was dancing with Wam Bam Ashleyanne at the Hard French party last year when all of a sudden another dancer elbowed the mouth of my Anchor Steam straight into my face, giving me a gnarlily chipped tooth and a piercing headache — but I danced and drank the pain away and ended up rubbing my balls on my friend David Kelso’s handlebars and leaving him a 10-minute voicemail telling him all about it, in a high-pitched Scottish accent for some reason. Then we had a late-night dinner at Beretta, and my awesome dentist Dr. Noordeh fixed me right up a few days later.) Contest ends at noon on Friday. Winner will be chosen based on merit and awarded the MORE! City Tote of his or her choosing, as well as a private tour of Rickshaw Bagwork’s impressive facility in the Dogpatch.

Noise Pop 2012 was a pretty perfect festival experience — except for the fact that Big Freedia had to cancel her appearance. This show on Thursday night at Public Works is the official make-up, and it’s bound to be pretty perfect as well.

To win tickets, tell us your best Noise Pop 2012-related anecdote or your best sissy bounce-related anecdote in the comments section below. A winner will be picked based on merit. Contest ends this coming Wednesday at noon.

Buy tickets here.

Jacy from Stolen Sunday tells us a bit about the summer scarf collection:

Zebra print, neons and mints – oh my! We are in two stores in the Mission currently, Wonderland SF and Density.

To win one, tell us your best needing-a-scarf-in-the-summertime-in-San Francisco story in the comments section below. A winner will be chosen based on merit. Contest ends at noon on Friday. See the whole collection here. Winner gets to pick any item priced $45 or below.