No dis-ASS-emble Johnny Five

Our pal Xtinal got to tour the armory and spotted an “upgraded” Johnny 5. Times must be tough, even for escaped sentient Nova robots. We know he can feel love, but can he feel… you know… pleasure?

BTW, have you seen the El Debarge video for “Who’s Johnny”? Total disappointment. They clearly didn’t have the budget to hire the robot or Steve Guttenberg, so they just put a cardboard cutout of Steve and a lame puppet robot arm into a few shots. The song still holds up and they did manage to cast the ultra-cute Ally Sheedy, though:

[via Xtinalrichards]

Valencia condo view

Sally snapped this shot of the view from the 299 Valencia condo development. Get yourself a telescope and you can go ahead and cancel your subscription to

[photo by Sally Kuchar/Curbed SF] is not down with new neighbors

Looks like 14th st. is in for some more major changes. First there was yesterday’s groundbreaking for a new 202-unit “ugly as shit” residential complex. Now there’s another proposed condo building in the planning stages, right next to the Armory., the building’s current occupants, are obviously not to pleased with a new building blocking off the killer view of the Armory’s glorious profile. On top of that, they cite the need for historical preservation of the building, which is totally what Kink is all about. As you may know, throughout the 20s-40s, the Armory was used as a sporting arena (the “Madison Square Garden of the West”) and to this day Kink hosts such high-profile sporting events as nude wrestling, whip skill competitions, and simultaneous-intercourse world record attempts.

The article at Curbed indicates Kink is interested in eventually restoring the main space for events, which does sound amazing. Can’t wait to check out a concert there, though I’ll be sure to wipe down my seat first. Head over to Curbed SF for the details.

[via Curbed SF]

Spiderclam, Planet of the Gapes, Freaks and Dicks

Apparently James Franco is a big fan of — so big in fact, that he’s directing a documentary on the famed porn castle, and production has already started.

So what was it like when Franco came to the Mission? Indiewire has the details:

A tweet from actress rain degrey from June 26 read: “ is all aflutter today because James Franco is here shooting his new movie. All these girls want to f*ck him! lol.”

Expect more James Franco in the Mission in the coming months, and maybe you’ll get to f*ck him if you’re lucky.


More About The Armory

One Of Those "Hotel" Rooms?

(One of the infamous “hotel rooms”?)

Nick Fisher read our post from a few months ago about getting a free tour of The Armory and sprang into action. Last Friday his tour came up and he was kind enough to take Julie, Dottie and me with him.

Julie posted about it on Caliber, along with a link to the full set.

Check out the sights after the jump. (some NSFW stuff linked)

(more…) Peeping Tom

Isn’t there a better way to get a peak inside the armory?  I realize that a certain Belle & Sebastian video may have suggested that this is the way to go, but do you really want to end up as the office piece of fluff?

Maybe you do.


The Tens Takes You Inside The Armory

Another Glimpse Inside The Armory… From Margaret Cho?!

Pre-Internet Armory

Another Glimpse Inside The Armory… From Margaret Cho?!

Well, time to chalk up another celeb hanging in the Mission. This time, at the Armory.

I was listening to WTF with Mark Maron this morning (which by the way, is an amazing podcast. It’s like a series of psychotherapy sessions for all my favorite aging stand-up comics) and I was surprised to find out that Margaret Cho is pretty freaky. So freaky, in fact, that she has been known to visit the Armory for some bizarre late-night… well just read on:

Margaret Cho: Then I got into these group sex situations which were really bizarre.
Mark Maron: Woah really?
MC: Yeah with porn stars. Like I would go to the Armory in San Francisco which is a big porn studio… The biggest studio they have is called… it’s a giant building. It’s like a 163 year-old building that’s a historical landmark.
MM: Was it originally built for fucking?
MC: No, it was built to house the troops.
MM: Oh it’s an armory. It’s a real armory.
MC: It’s a real armory. And so they have like… makeshift hotels for porn stars that stay. And so you can stay there. And they–I never got this done–but one of the things they do is, they call it a “midnight takedown,” where you go to bed and you go to sleep and they watch you fall asleep and then they come and they fuck you. Like 17 people.
MM: And they film it?
MC: Yeah they film it. But I didn’t get to do that because I locked my door.

Check out the rest of this fascinating episode here and I guess we’re a celebrity gossip blog now. Stay tuned for our acquirement by Perez Hilton LLC.

(photo by davidyuweb)


Molly Ringwald Sighting at Delfina
Jane Lynch Sighting at Delfina

The Tens Takes You Inside The Armory

As we found out earlier this week, the free friday tours of the Armory are booked up until the fall so it’s going to be a while until we’ll get see all the glorious historical significance inside. Luckily for you, tonight our favorite DSLR-slinger from the Tens somehow got some kind of private tour with his “company”, which I can only assume is a custom power-tool supplier.

Anyway, he snapped this gem and a handful of pictures of good clean adult fun. Check out the full set on the Tens:

Jealous? I am. When I tried to flex my dubious, “Uhh, is there a press guest list? I kinda sorta write for a local blog” card, it fell on deaf ears at the Armory. But who could blame them? They don’t really need the press and we are but a humble blog that has recently been rewarded for pictures of public shitting. On the other hand, a significant portion of our traffic comes from dudes googling Sasha Grey, so maybe it would be good for business?

Well, if you change your mind,, you know where to find us.

Update: Brizz posted more pics, including Johnny Five with some, umm, upgrades, on Uptown Almanac.

The iPad Is Already Causing Problems

Man Passed Out With iPads

Via Christopher F. Smith.