Mission Mission

(photo by Grim Reynard)

Black Bean and Cheese Quesadillas: a new menu item

I got news of the Weird Fish Satellite leaving Bender’s a week ago and all I could do was stuff with my face with even more seitan.  Some sort of denial.  Couldn’t even bring myself to post about it here.  Dramatic?  Maybe.  But I’ve basically been eating at this counter two to three times per week for the past year and a half–ever since Gestalt started falling apart–and I always felt like this little menu in an unapologetic dive represented everything that was wonderful about the Mission and San Francisco in general.  It always seemed like that ordering some of the best goddamn vegan food in the city from a guy that looked like he would punch your grandmother just to say he did so was an “only in San Francisco” experience.  The food was out of this world, you could almost always find a table, the beer was served in cans, pints, and pitchers, and you could even sit outside if your skin was up to it.

And then there were the fried pickles.

Obviously this isn’t all doom and gloom.  Justin, the man behind the grill, has enough chops to make sure whatever menu he eventually lands on is as epic as possible.  For the meat eaters, the burgers are still around, and from what I hear the quality hasn’t changed.  The new black bean quesadillas are definitely solid and nothing beats a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich.   But, at the end of the day, that deep-fried seitan was the jam, something that you just couldn’t get in any bar, grill, or city, and it’s gunna be missed.

Aw HELL NO!  2010, I’ve grown awfully fond of you, but you’re messing with my foodstuffs already and it’s only day 6.  Two items:

Item #1: The unveiling of Rosamunde: Mission District has been pushed from January 11th to a January 15th soft launch and a January 18th grand opening.  Sausage, soft, launch… these jokes write themselves, people.  Let’s just hope this story has a happy ending, hyuk hyuk hyuk. [SFoodie]

Item #2: The fine folks of Weird Fish have officially moved their asses out of Bender’s.  Burgers and fried things are to be replaced with sausages, sandwiches, potatoes.  Just when I thought I’d left the Eastern bloc behind me!  I eagerly await KevMo commentary on this critical update.  [Eater SF]

P.S. The title is a haiku.  Count ‘em syllables, I dare you.

Jscinsf submitted this shot from Bryant & 18th:

Over which the following email exchange quickly transpired:

Vic:

Thanks, but that doesn’t even make sense. How do you return a fuck after your done “renting” it? Rentals generally refer to goods, not services. Unless “fuck” refers to a douchey person whom one might call a “fuck” (it’s a stretch), but why would you want to rent one of those? You can just go to the Marina and hang out for a couple of hours and get it gratis. This street artist clearly did not think this through.

Kev:

Ever hear of prostitution?

Kat:

If you’re not gonna give a fuck, you’re not gonna get a fuck, so why not just rent a fuck?  That’s my stance.

For more on “fuck”, there was a documentary film that came out a few years ago that covers the subject quite well.

There, that should settle the question as to whether or not what we do is journalism.

While we’re on the subject of street art, it might interest you that we were contacted by a notable men’s magazine about publicizing their video profile on Dickchicken. We unanimously declined; I think we’ve done enough for Dickchicken. We watched it and he’s a dick. I won’t link it but you can probably find it by googling a magazine that rhymes with “Greyboy”.

Lauren sent us this awesome shot of an Xmas tree on fire at Florida and 26th.

You know what this means: Guy Fawkes Day is a mere 10 months away!!!!  Get out ye groaty pudding and cabbage!

Our friend Broke-Ass Stuart has been into lists lately and this is the best of the lot:

1.  There is ALWAYS a line.
Because I generally work from home during the day my hours are pretty flexible.  This means that long lines are generally a rarity in my world.  Whether its the bank, the doctor’s office, Walgreens or fucking Tartine, I rarely have to wait for more than a few minutes before I’m served….Look fucker don’t give me that mock “woe is me” crap, this is the lifestyle I’ve chosen.  You’ve chosen a job with health benefits and 401k, I’ve chosen the one with no lines at Walgreens, alright?

Anyways, for some reason no matter what time of day it is, even if it’s like Tuesday at 1pm there is always a line.  Out of the hundreds of times I’ve set foot in there, I can probably count on my hands how many times the wait has been less than 20 minutes.  What the fuck??  Who the hell else doesn’t have shit to do at 1pm on Tuesday?  they can’t all be underemployed writers who sit around in the boxers working from home all day can they?

Read on….

This feels like something I’d be more likely to see back “home” than in San Francisco.  Anyone want to go take our cable cutters across town, drag this beast back to Dolores Park, climb in, and go for one helluva roll down the hill?

From reader john:

i just want to know if he rolls in it or ghost rides it.  either way, fixed geared fools better start peddalin’ for the hills as i’m sure once this guy assembles the rest of his bike he’ll be doing some big foot-type shit all over their asses.
found it on scott and page or thereabouts.

Holey Moley!  This just in from Mission Mission reader Peter:

I was sitting in the window at Sugarlump just before noon, when the front wheel of a pretzel truck fell into a small sinkhole on 24th St. (between Bryant and Florida). Oh, the humanity!

Thanks Peter!

A message from some person(s).

Anyway, some people just have phone issues.

It’s just a fact.

Also.