Mission Mission

Reee-diculous!

But the iPad bit is funny. Learn more.

(Thanks, Jono!)

Reader David K. spotted this west-coast-style hipster trap on 24th Street this morning. Laaaid back.

A gnarcissist!

If this guy is one, you can’t really blame him:

Gnar!

[Joke by Mimi V.] [Video via Ice Tubes]

I went looking for those mini doors we’ve been hearing about by Jeff Waldman, and despite getting the location details from Mission Local, I could not find anything — only the above really rad Poochie effigy, which is truly a gem.

As you can see, I’m completely blind, and the door was right under my nose the whole time.  I only realized this when I got home to check the internet for any real photos of the doors; it probably would have been in my best interest to do that before exploring sketchy alleys and dodging cars for 60 minutes, but live and learn and maybe get my eyes checked out.

Here is the initial door installation on 14th and Valencia. And the one on 17th and Valencia? Not even there anymore.

Thanks for the tip, Mission Love Advice!

Being the last stop on an all day Bloody Mary crawl is a little bit of a bum deal (hello drunk?), but Benders was able to hold it’s own with it’s now famous Slim Jim infused Mary.  You heard me right kids — a real life snackable meat stick conveniently settled next to the green beans and to the right of the straw, all for your noshing pleasure.  Delightful!

Besides having one of the best accoutrement’s on the tour, the Mary was quite delicious and drinkable.  Not too spicy, not too chunky, and the vodka-tomato ratio was just right.  According to the notes from some Crawlers, they’re huge fans of the horseradish addition, as well as the overall presentation of the drink, and of course, the Slim Jim.  We also received feedback stating that not only was Will a very capable and friendly bartender, but also very cute as well.  I don’t know if that affected the scoring or not, but hey, doesn’t hurt!

Overall, Benders, whether drinking Marys, taking whiskey shots or eating tots, is a great place to spend some time, make some new friends over rounds of drinks, and watch Arizona completely blow it against UConn in the Elite 8 (yes, I am still upset and no, I don’t want to talk about it).  Most importantly, get the Bloody Mary and snap into that Slim Jim.

Stop number 3 of the day was the newly renovated Zeitgeist and their classic Mary’s –they haven’t changed a bit, and apparently nor has the bars disdain for taking photos (my bad).

The thing I like about the Mary’s here is that they’re exactly what you think of when you think of a good ole bloody mary.  They’re refreshing, great balance of spice and heartiness, it really hits the spot after a night on the town.  As one Crawler put it, they’re “surly but good on a nice day”.  I second that one!

The bartender manning the shaker was a really nice dude, which is contrary to 98% of things you’ve heard about the bartenders at Zeitgeist, and he was good at his craft.  Very efficient, heavy on the vodka, no extra fluff necessary.  Bonus points for having Street Fighter 2  in the bar,  nothing makes me happier than good Marys and kicking some butt with Blanka.

[Photo by Mike Chino]

There’s a reason Elixir calls their weekend bloody mary special a “vodka salad bar”: at your disposal is a rack full of spices, a cabinet’s worth of sauces, and there’s nothing to stop you from shoveling a plate of pickled veggies into your pint. The historic saloon’s extensive spread of ingredients makes it the perfect stop for those looking for a liquid lunch in a glass or complete control over the minutiae of bloody mary mixology.

Suggested listening: Journey – Any Way You Want It

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Our first stop on the tour was also one of the most popular suggestions in the comments back when we posted about this ludicrous idea, and  the reason for this soon became apparent as the 500 Club steadily filled to capacity within minutes of our arrival.  Rachel, the resident bloody mary specialist, attracted quite a following and the cheerful patrons contributed to a raucous atmosphere despite the early hour.  By 12:30pm, it was almost like there was a party inside, and it was clear that many of patrons were regulars who made it a mission to visit every Saturday.

We had prepared for the event by specifically abstaining from breakfast because that’s the whole reason why a bloody mary exists in the first place (right?).  This was a wise decision, as Rachel’s bloody proved to be the ultimate “breakfast in a cup” and basically ended up being an alcoholic salad.  All manner of vegetables found their way into the mix: celery, pepperocinni, olives, pickled green beans, asparagus, and even okra (!!??!!), among others.  However, the real draw was of course the bacon, and not some thin wimpy bacon either, but a nice thick slab of crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside sustenance-providing bacon that provided a solid absorbent for some of the early alcohol.

Also notable about Rachel’s bloody was the spiciness factor.  There was a solid kick of pepper to help rouse your senses and the zest of the vegetables and tomato disguised the taste of the copious amount of vodka in the drink.  Some commenters complained that this was spiciness for spiciness’ sake rather than for taste, but we didn’t find it to be too overwhelming.  Rachel also made use of what the Elixir bartender revealed was the secret ingredient, which was Old Bay spice, so aspiring bloody mary mixologists should keep that in mind for future concoctions.

In all, the 500 Club provided a solid start with what many felt was the best bloody mary in the city, and also managed to nourish us sufficiently before we continued on our tipsy journey.  There’s a real sense of community there every Saturday morning, and we could definitely see ourselves coming back here next week to join in on the fun again!

[Photo by Erika]

The first-ever MM Bloody Marython went down this past Saturday, and thanks to everyone who participated it ended up being quite a blast!  We started at noon at the 500 Club and proceeded to also stop at Elixir, Zeitgeist, and Bender’s, drinking one bloody mary at each bar.  Needless to say, things got a little sloppy towards the end, but we made sure to take copious notes in case we didn’t quite remember everything!

We utilized a methodical approach that featured scorecards consisting of several distinct categories such as taste, texture, spiciness, accoutrements, alcohol content, overall presentaton, and bartender.  These were filled out by everyone on the tour as well as by patrons who happened to be drinking bloody marys at each bar and wanted to get in on the action.  Indeed, mild cases of favoritism were apparent, as a few of the bartenders seemed to have their own fan clubs in attendance.

As such, you can’t rely on the numbers alone, but they help to qualitatively identify clear trends.  For instance, the 500 Club consistently got the highest scores for accoutrements (owing to the high quality bacon, among other exotic ingredients) and bartender, while Zeitgeist got low scores for bartender by remote judges even though those of us who actually showed up were pleasantly surprised by how polite ours turned out to be (even after I tried to mess with him by tossing a credit card onto the bar to pay for the drinks).

In the end the scores were super close and each version was separated by a mere point, with 500 Club coming in first followed by Elixir, Bender’s, and Zeitgeist.  But of course it’s all about the context, so be sure to read our little breakdowns for each spot:

500 Club

Elixir

Zeitgeist

Bender’s

Since we can’t so much as even look at a bloody mary right now without feeling queasy, we’ll need some time to recover before the next MM Bloody Marython, but keep your eyes peeled here and we’ll let you know when the Sunday edition is going down.  At the moment, we’re thinking Pop’s, Thieves, Dirty Thieves, Argus, and the Attic.  Thanks again to everyone who showed up and helped make this such an awesome time, and special thanks to all the bartenders for making such fantastic drinks and putting up with all of us!