Mission Mission

This trailer is so good, I know it’s hard to imagine the movie itself living up to it. And, really, the picture quality on this little YouTube box is in many ways preferable to the fuzzy, not-bright-enough projection at the Roxie. BUT, I saw this movie there last night and had a wonderful time.

So if you’re like me and you like oddly paced movies with very little dialogue and a pretty bare-boned story, check it out. At the very least, you’ll have a good time arguing about it with your buddy that hated it over drinks after.

Our buddy Tony Pierce down in LA (who gave us some choice advice when we here in the Mission were dealing with our own American Apparel-related crisis) is grappling with conflicting feelings about the controversial clothing manufacturer:

whenever i see one of their billboards or ads i think what happens when i have little daughters and they see that ad and their friends see that ad and they say daddy can we go to american apparel and buy some of those clothes, those girls look so pretty.

what am i supposed to say to those little angels?

i cant say “you dont see mommy dressing like that do you?” cuz mommy better have some of that tucked away. so now im a hypocrite. in front of my sweethearts.

im so doomed.

Poor Tony! Read on.

I don’t usually care for reading about other people’s dreams, but Sexpigeon just had a doozie. Somehow he ended up on a horrific future version of Conan’s show:

There is a lot of cussing. Later, Justin Long leads everyone in a game where we each pretend to be a different member of Rocky & Bullwinkle. He describes situations and we use our iPhones to conjure up objects that our characters might use in this situation. We project them holographically. This is a skill unto itself: often the objects appear slightly melted when projected by a novice. Justin Long is quite good at projecting and is eventually showing us parlor tricks one can do with an iPhone hologram projector.

Read on if you want more mind blown. Be sure you get to the part about the wrap party. The horror!

[Photo by Bryan Haggerty]

Mission Boyfriends, an examination of what it’s like dating dudes here in the neighborhood, is advising women not to overlook certain red flags:

Here is a list of red flags that I chose to overlook. Bad choice.

- Whilst fucking he said “I don’t want to get you pregnant…at least not right now”

- When I asked him what kinda kinky shit he was into (hinting at something we could do together) he responded with : “well, ive always been into Asians. Then I got into pregnant chicks. Then I got into pregnant Asians, and then I got into trannys.”

Hmm. Read on to see how our heroine chose to deal with this situation.

[Photo by Jason Yim]

In what could prove to be a serious shake-up in the SF food scene, Mission Chinese Food may today become the place to be not only for the gnarliest Chinese in the city — but possibly the most bomb barbecue as well. They imported a special smoker all the way from the dirty south, they perfected some recipes, and the new menu debuts tonight!

SFoodie tells us all about it:

It’s got barbecue, all right, marked “Chinese”: smoked beef brisket, pulled pork trotters, Xi’an lamb cheeks. All served with smoked Cola BBQ sauce, pickles, and white bread ― uh, Chinese-style maybe? There’s also kung pao corned beef (not sure if that’s the same as the kung pao pastrami Bowien described in an e-mail as “fucking amazing.”)

That sounds pretty good. Read on.

I haven’t decided yet whether this is just for looks, or if it’s a signal, ala the bandanas in Cruising. Like, if Matthew Broderick is peeking out your right rear pocket, it means you want a kiss from Daddy?

[Photo by Hopped Up]

An ongoing search for the oddest thing to be locked up on the sidewalk.

These are just a couple screenshots from an epic short film shot I think today by “steeeevey T” of TCB and Stortstrots. He starts in the Mission and winds his way downtown.

Watch the whole movie here, for the soundtrack if not the rad visuals.

Louise overheard a cute phone conversation at Atlas Cafe today. She was so tickled, she transcribed the whole thing:

You’re coming apart at the seams, man.  You gotta friend me on Facebook again. Yeah, let’s be friends again, because you got a lotta work ahead of you.  You gotta put all those photos online, man. I’m gonna have lunch with your mom this week.  Maybe you could stop by.  Yeah, in the rain.  Ain’t that aboutta bitch?  And there’s a great Balkan party this weekend, so clear your schedule for that.  The girls are crazy over there.

Phone calls sure sound weird when you only hear one side, right? Read on for a geography lesson and more Facebook talk.

And while you’re at it, like us on Facebook if you haven’t already.

Previously:

• Atlas Cafe home of the best veggie sandwich in town?

Tipster Todd of Telstar Logistics knows not very much:

A friend just texted to say the Feds are raiding a home on Bryant, between 22nd and 23rd. No more info.

What’s crackin’? Imma go take a look.

UPDATE: I didn’t see nothin’.