Mission Mission

“Fresh ingredients, no MSG or lard, no preservatives, no bull?” Are you saying you only serve the meat of female cows here? What kind of establishment flat out admits they not only just serve lady cows, but proudly displays it on their menu?! For shame. You’ll be hearing from my something or other about this atrocity.

But in all seriousness, their bro-less cow dishes taste really good. Just sayin’.

At first I was confused — what does it mean?! And why kankles? But thankfully, Google saved the day, yet again. Remember that dude we saw wearing chicken feet and mud on his head at the Noise Pop festival in February? His name’s Jason Jaworski, and it turns out Sprinkles Sparkles and Kankles is his website.

Given the complicated and sometimes messy nature of his previous work, I am surprised the sticker is so simple, but hey, it got the job done. Now we’re all looking at the website.

It’s official — from here on out, Dirty Thieves will be known as the Blind Cat. As Ariel wrote back in March, the owner lost a bet and had to change its name, and the proof is in the new signage.

I don’t know about you, but the sign is more reminiscent of a dead cat. But I don’t draw cats, I only train them, so what do I know.

Previously:

• Like a Thief in the Day

Just for today at least. As a way to get the students the bring up their low California Standard Test scores, the principal of Mission High (who may be the coolest principal ever) gave them a challenge: raise your scores, and you get one of the following — giant carnival with a dunk tank, famous chefs cooking school lunch, or the opportunity to film him dancing the macarena. The students chose wisely. SFoodie has the important details:

Frances: Lamb confit sandwich on brioche bun with asparagus-potato salad
Slanted Door: Chicken or vegetarian curry with rice noodles
Delfina: Lumachine (shell-shaped pasta) with Sunday Supper sauce
Bi-Rite: Barbecue brisket sandwich with coleslaw and potato salad

DAMN!!

Read more about how these kids are about to get down on some awesome lunch options while you and I chow down on our turkey sandwiches we made this morning while half asleep.

[photo by Uncle Lynx]

Cinco de Mayo — the holiday that commemorates the Mexican army’s victory over the French in 1862, but better known as yet another reason to take countless tequila shots and get plastered on a Thursday night, has arrived.  But what to do?  Where to go?  Here are some helpful hints for those looking to to have what I can only promise as a righteous hangover Friday morning:

• Madrone Art Bar: I know this isn’t in the Mission, but check it:  FREE Papalote burritos.  FREE!  Party starts at 6pm, burritos start at 10pm, and 5 different DJ’s will be spinning all night long.
• El Rio: They’ll be hosting a special presentation of Red Hot Burlesque Presents: Go Deep, Let’s Wrestle At El Rio!  I know this has nothing to do with Cinco de Mayo, but it looks super crazy — from El Rio’s  website: Come with your sense of humor and get ready to ogle, hoot and holler. Every show features hot bods, pasties, outrageous costumes, a lot of humor and, of course, bumpin’ and grindin’! With a rotating cast of over 500 people all over the world. This show includes local and visiting talent! A show with out boundaries including bizarre beauties and senseless sideshow. Not for the faint of heart or weak of humor.
• Dolores Park:  Actually happening on the 7th of May, the “alcohol free and family friendly” festival celebrating Cinco de Mayo will be going on from 10am until 6pm.  More details over at MissionLocal.
• Brick and Mortar Music Hall: Dance all night to samba and electro-pop at this brand new venue that just opened at Mission and Duboce, according to Eater SF.
• Free cab rides! Woohoo!

I’m pretty positive that anywhere you go, whether it be your favorite taqueria or bar will have some sort of margarita special going on, so it won’t be too difficult to find SOMETHING to do.

[Photo by Misenberg13]

As if navigating Market wasn’t already an obstacle course.  Now they’re just making it interesting!

Previously:

• Taxi strikes cyclist who happens to be me
• Cyclist down at Fremont and Market

According to this person at least.

Previously:

• The cross-your-fingers bike lock

But really though — big bikes, small cars, what is going on around here?  Isn’t anything proportional anymore?

I had to double back when I walked past this bike.  It may not look so big in the photos, but seriously, this bike dwarfed the car behind it.  I didn’t get a chance to see who it belonged to, but judging by the size of this thing, that person would be hard to miss.

Here it is in its former glory:

[Photo via Westbymidwest]

And, today:

So that just happened.

On a positive note, the laser-eyes kitties mural has just come back from the dead, so maybe the Tiger might do the same someday.