Mission Mission

We’ve noticed all sorts of interesting and eclectic things locked to poles, parking meters, construction equipment, or whatever immobile objects happen to be convenient; so it should come as no surprise that we eventually come across something like this.

To be clear, I’m not making fun of this at all. Just the opposite, in fact, as I think this is rather bad ass! I mean, when I’m old and decrepit and can’t walk around on my own any longer, I’m definitely going to lock one of these babies outside my door so I can still at least attempt to get a slice of pizza down the street without any help.

[via We Built This City]

As of February first, Scottish Spirits Imports (A Fort Lauderdale company, of course) plans to bring this appetizing alcoholic treat to a janky liquor store near you. From their website:

Is there any better sound than the crack of a beer can being opened after a long day of work? What if the can was filled with something a little stronger than beer, say Scotch whisky?

Our “Scotch in a Can” has eight shots (12 ounces) of Scotch straight out of the can − which is indeed a recyclable one. Keeping qualitative and quantitative standards intact, Scotch in a Can maintains high quality without compromising the tone of the beverage.

Retailing for $5, this thrifty, convenient and pool-safe beverage option is sure to be a hit. Enjoy!

[via Reason]

I’m walking down 20th Street minding my business when an old lady leans way out her big front window and shouts, “Excuse me! Excuuuse me!” I look up and she continues, “Will you please take that off my railing?” She’s pointing at this Chinese takeout menu. I wonder if she thinks I put it there, but then she says, “I tell them not to put those there, but they don’t listen.”

I go over and tug the thing off her railing. “Just throw it in the street,” she says, “They’re sweeping the gutters tomorrow morning.”

I held onto it and looked for a recycle bin, and then threw it in a trash can after seven blocks of no luck.

The Roxie explains:

SAN FRANCISCO THEATRICAL PREMIERE! Exploding out of South Central LA with a previously unthinkable and utterly undeniable funk-thrash swing and a joyously chaotic stage show, Fishbone quickly ascended to the top of the hyper-competitive heap of Hollywood club bands in the 1980s. But selling something so awesome and unusual to the American public? That’s where the trouble began. EVERYDAY SUNSHINE ecstatically traces the tangled threads, simultaneously shooting straight about Angelo Moore and Norwood Fisher’s dogged persistence in continuing the band amidst innumerable setbacks. Dirs: Lev Anderson & Chris Meltzer. Interviews with past and present members of Fishbone, Flea, No Doubt, George Clinton, Mike Watt, Tim Robbins & ?uestlove. 2010. Digital. 103 mins.

Both Friday night shows include acoustic performances by the band and Q&A with the band and the film makers! See a week’s worth of showtimes and buy tickets here.

To win a pair of tickets to the Friday night show of your choice, leave a comment below explaining why you deserve to win. Contest ends at 5PM on Wednesday, January 4, 2012. Winner will be chosen based on merit.

Now let’s rock:

This morning I saw that Caffeinated Comics on Mission and Valencia had shut down as of Dec. 29 after almost 3 years in business. Major bummer. I never got a chance to visit myself, but I was looking forward to getting my fix there since moving to La Lengua last month. Anyone here know what’s up?

Maybe if they would have embedded some holograms and foil plating into the coffee cups and labeled them with “Cup #1, Limited Edition” they could have improved sales. Of course, then no one would drink the actual coffee, they’d just leave it in the polybag.

Rad tunes and flicks tonight at the free monthly Beards of a Feather DJ and film nite at Laszlo:

Beards is back tonight with special guests, Damon Palermo (aka Magic Touch on 100% Silk) and Ben (aka Roche on Solos)! We will be playing records all night long (house/disco/funk/italo/cosmic/balearic) at Laszlo for those of you who failed to successfully rage through the entire weekend and for those of you who would like to decompress to some rad music and films.

Details are the usual, music from 9-2 and you can order food from Foreign Cinema until 10pm. No cover. Come hang.

Special DJ guests:
Magic Touch (100% Silk)
Roche (Solos)

Screening:
Hours and hours of “The New Dance Show” purchased at the legendary Buy-Rite music in Detoit & the epic documentary Koyaanisqatsi

The New Dance Show was a television show in Detroit which ran in the late-1980s to mid-1990s on WGPR-TV 62. Hosted by R.J. Watkins, The New Dance Show was a low-budget local version of Soul Train and featured regular dancers. We have 3 DVDs of rare archives purchased at the legendary Buy Rite music in Detroit.

RSVP and invite your friends!

This Mission pickup line is a month old, but I just remembered it last night and it deserves more acclaim:

P.S. Can you work “Lapidge” into a pickup line? Show your work for full credit.

[via omgthemish]

Despite the rather inclement weather last Friday threatening to ruin New Year’s weekend, local artists Tim Hon and Steve Ha braved the elements to put some final touches on their 49ers tribute mural on the Walgreens at 23rd and Mission.  Yesterday, their hard work was rewarded with a visit from Niners tight end Vernon Davis, still radiant after helping the team earn their first playoff berth in years, who stopped by to sign the piece and yuck it up with local media.

While not quite as astounding as Taqueria Vallarta’s “batshit insane” Niners mural, the fact that San Franciscans are interested in their football team again is a good thing for the city.  Let’s just try not to riot again if they end up winning it all!

[Second photo by Alisa]

I had my bike stolen out of 24th and Mission Street BART last Wednesday. Seen it? Hey, I know it happens. It’s my second stolen bike.

The thing is, I thought I had done everything right: I brought it in the gate, ran a cable through the wheels, and secured a newer mini Kryptonite U-lock through the frame. But when I got back everything was gone. I had to double check that I didn’t get off at the wrong station.

I think the lesson is that BART isn’t a safe place to park your bike. You may think you’re protecting your bike from outsiders, but you’re also protecting thieves. The bike parking area is in a secluded corner out of view of the operator booth, the station is noisy, and people are too hurried and desensitized to weirdos to take notice of strange activity. In retrospect, someone could take a generator and angle grinder down there while wearing a bear suit and no one would pay any attention.

There is also plenty of time for a thief to monitor the bike parking patterns. For me, I was parking it there for 8 hours every weekday as part of my commute. Someone could have easily figured out the best time to strike over the course of a few days.

I give props to the BART police for showing up quickly to take my report and offer their condolences, but unfortunately they said getting any security footage for such a large window of time and secluded corner probably wont happen. So much for vigilante justice.

I took away the following advice from them:

1. Write down the serial number of your bike. You’ll need it if your bike is ever recovered. Seriously, do it now. Put it in your phone or something.
2. Powell street BART is most secure. Due to people traffic and location of the bike area, they have had the least amount of theft there.
3. Don’t park a bike in public for more than a couple of hours if you expect to keep the bike. Get a beater.
4. Write BART about improving bike security. They don’t listen to the BART cops, they do listen to you. You can do so online here.

That being said, it could not have been easy for the thief to break my U-lock. It would have been time consuming and noisy. I offer these suggestions to BART:

1. If you haven’t already, put a security camera on the bike area.
2. Relocate bike racks to somewhere within line of sight to the operator booth.
3. Station agents should do regular scans of the station areas. Grandma can wait 5 minutes for help with which end to stick the ticket.
4. Improve hospitality towards bike commuters. Station, car, and time restrictions make it really hard to justify traveling with your bike. Caltrain figured this out to an extent. We can do better.

Best of luck out there against these savages.

[photo by Improv Everywhere via Fixed Gear Blog]