Mission Mission

It was nearly twelve years ago that a Mexican political activist declared, “I would shoot my son and daughter if they ever order a green burrito.” At long last, El Farolito has caved to the times and has started offering spinach and whole wheat tortillas.

[via Lindsey]

Ruby in the Dust (pictured) explains:

San Francisco is one big fucking stage. It is a constant theater production. When I am walking down the street, it’s like I’m the second coming of Jesus fucking Christ. I’m not even egotistical about this. If I’m dressed cuter than a girl, her eyes automatically shift to the side because she’s challenged and I see a dirty look plastered on her face. It’s weird because I feel like we’re all interconnected. I can feel myself as a part of her, and her a part of me. I don’t understand why we can’t embrace the communal human THING that we share and be happy over it?

Read on for a few other musings on life in San Francisco.

Uh, Valentine’ Day is coming up soon? Keep this in mind? Or something. You’re welcome.

[via Summer Is Rad]

Our man at the scene Kai has the update:

Tiny memorial upon my arrival this morning. Glad to see the community mourning in a healthy way.

And it’s probably not a good idea to mess with the perpetrator:

She lives on Dolores St between 18th and 19th. Her name is Carmen Castillo. She harasses all the neighbors and frankly, she’s a bitter old crazy lady. She carries around an exacto knife, so be careful!

UPDATE: Further fun via Twitter:

@missionmission I might have a lead on swing slayer. Grumpy lady walks by hood tattoo shop, pokes head in, yells “don’t do it” and walks off

— David Covell (@davidnotdave) January 15, 2012

Previously:

Fun-hating grinch cuts down Valencia swing

Our pal Plumpy has some travel advice for us:

You know those casino buses that are always parked 8-deep at 16th & Mission, packed full of elderly Chinese women? Have you ever wanted to get on one? Tonight I did as I love casino games and even play them online at https://uudetkasinotilmanrekisteroitymista.fi/. Websites like ufa8k offers a secure platform to play your favorite casino games. The bus cost $10, but when I got there, they gave us $30 each for gambling. If you hate gambling as much as I do, you’ll probably blow through that at the slots in the first 30 minutes and spend the rest of your mandatory four hour stay sitting in the bar. But! I won $120 off of their free money. How often do you go out for drinks and come home at 4am drunk and with more money in your pocket than you left with? I’m not saying I’d do it again, but I think everyone should do it once.

Peep the schedule here. Thanks, Plumpy! If you want to play casino games at the comfort of your home, you may look for fast payout online casino nz websites. The conquestador casino canada website also offers big bonuses and exciting prizes to new players.

I’d meant to go back later and chuck a brick at one of the wood panels to test their fortitude, for journalism’s sake, but I forgot.

She calls it a “fountain dog” for some reason which isn’t explained. But she does point out that the bacon is a great way to get some extra protein into your kids. Never thought of that.

(Thanks, Emily!)

I finally found that holy grail present for the girl (or, more likely in this case, woman) who has everything! The one thing she doesn’t have is a set of nipple cozies! Because there is no reason for her to have this!

So, if you know this girl and need to get her the final thing in her set of everything, this vintage pair of Niftee Nipple Warmers can be found at Stuff (150 Valencia Street) and can be purchased for $20. I just know she will be so happy because now she will truly have every thing and that is her dream.

Says our pal Teddy:

He was on his way out when I noticed unfortunately. I was just outside the door and heard a girl say “I love your movies!”, then caught a thin black mustache curled up in a charismatic smile pass by, and he was gone.

Well, if he comes back again tonight, we’ll know he’s there for DANCING.

UPDATE!!! Perhaps he was there to see Micro Mtns play that night:

Previously:

• John Waters Says You Should Be Able to Have Sex in a Theater
• John Waters Does San Francisco
• John Waters Drinks at Zeitgeist

[First photo by Broke-Ass Stuart; second photo by Broke-Ass Jess.]