Mission Mission

When will it end? Gremlins are fun, Ghostbusters fucking rule. Nerf stuff was okay.

But if I see some kind of Howard the Duck wheatpaste around the way, I am going be a leetle bummed out.

Photo by sf graffiti.

The photo comes from something called Pristine Parks Project, from their photo set Dolores Park – July 15, 2010. It’s a bunch of photos of stuff people left on the ground at Dolores Park.

One last detour to the Midwest to close out a week of many detours to the Midwest, this one courtesy of Chicago photographer Nick Gerber. This sport looks fully badass — and I’m sure nobody’s face ever gets burned clean off.

But seriously, the MLB could take a lesson from this crew — less doping and more FLAMING PROJECTILES.

[The pitcher is here; the batter is here.]

I’ve embedded “Ride of the Valkyries” below. You’re welcome.

Photo by SF Citizen, via Carlos Reyes. Do view it larger if you’re inclined.

We’re going to end this week’s examination of dating and friendship and flakiness in San Francisco and California with this sober rap by reader Al:

Here’s my theory, (note: huge generalizations will be made): Our grandparents grew up during the Great Depression thus rearing their children (our parents) to value hard work, decorum, conservatism. As a result we have the buttoned up, squeaky clean 50′s and then the revolt of the free lovin 60′s. Unsure of how to raise us, our parents padded our cribs, fed us on formula of “you can be whatever you want to be” “everyone should go to college” “be an astronaut, honey” “be a ballerina” and it’s left us, as a generation, completely floundering. We can’t make decisions period. About career paths. “Let’s all be designers!” or what the fuck to eat. We’re all looking for the bigger, better, EASIER, next thing. This includes again jobs, lovers, friends, weekend plans. We like to keep all options open, hoping that someday our shot at “space” or “prima ballerina” will fall effortlessly in our lap.

Totally. If only I could be a ballerina without having to practice my pirouettes all that much.

But I have to say, there are advantages to this trip: Last weekend at Handlebar in Chicago, right after LCD Soundsystem’s epic set, my cousin Jono, a designer (he came up with that great Verizon “Rule the Air” logo), couldn’t decide whether to get nachos or fries. So he got nachos and fries and had no complaints. (See the fun after the jump.)

[Above photo by Elisa Hough.]

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Whether the π/beers thing is related or not, I have no idea what is going on in this image. I’ve zoomed way in and can’t seem to figure what that appendage growing out of that guy’s upper torso is. Looks like an illustration in a “Say No to Spraying Kerosene in Your Own Face” pamphlet from the doctor’s office — but that’s not a real thing. Halp!

Photo by westbymidwest.

This is on Dolores Street somewheres. Just let me put on my purple American Apparel shirt and my purple fake Ray-Bans and then somebody take my picture under it okay?

Photo by jessohackberry.

Our buddy Nicole Browner from Bay Bridged explains why she’s pumped about this year’s Regional Bias:

I am personally excited about having this fairly new local band, Exrays (members of Ray’s Vast Basement). Also, we have Morgan Maki (18 Reasons/Bi-Rite) cooking for the evening, with veg options. Many of the local artists are people who have designed website banners for us in the past and present, and they will be selling their work. Yeah SF!

Yeah SF! RSVP (or invite your friends) via the Regional Bias 2010 Facebook Page.

Previously:

Scenes from Oysterfest 2010 featuring Thao Nguyen

Happy Friday, friends! These cute animals need a home btw!

Fastlane — 1 year old female calico

Appropriately named, Fastlane is a quick moving and sleek little girl. She enjoys life at a higher speed than most and prefers to keep the road free of other cats. Fastlane is equally gentle and loving to round off her highway ride to your heart.

Pharaoh — 7 year old Austrailian Shepherd

Oh yeah… You’ve seen my type before…the breed that wins all the ribbons at dog athletic competitions and beauty competitions too. I’m a well mannered and handsome guy, easy on the leash, and tender-hearted. My breed is known for being super trainable and very smart!

All pets adopted from SFSPCA have received a pre-adoption veterinary exam and behavior assessment, vaccinations, spay/neuter surgery and a microchip.

Where: The San Francisco SPCA’s Maddie’s Adoption Center
Address: 250 Florida Street (at 16th – Street)
Hours: Open Tues – Friday 1 p.m. to 7 p.m., and Saturday/Sunday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. (Closed Mondays and major holidays.
Contact: 415-522-3500, www.sfspca.org
Follow SFSPCA at facebook.com/sfspca and twitter.com/sfspca.

Last week we held a contest in partnership with INNA pickle INNA jam. To win a bunch of jams and pickles, you needed to tell us your best story involving pickles or jam or being in a pickle or jam. Jen’s story takes the cake:

Revenge is best served smeared with a dollop of strawberry jam. We were chugging along in our old tank of a Volvo, in bumper to bumper traffic, trying to escape the blizzard sweeping into Lake Tahoe. The litterbugs in the car in front of us decided to toss a nearly full can of Coke out their window. Had the half-frozen can actually struck our windshield, it doubtless would have shattered our only protection from the blisteringly cold weather. Instead, it miraculously missed by a centimeter, bouncing instead off the metal side structural support. Furious, our driver managed to maneuver in front of them. Being unable to handle both breakfast and windy mountain roads, I had skipped breakfast that morning. Fortuitously, the jelly donut was still perched on the dashboard. The shotgun passenger rolled down the window, took careful aim, and lobbed the donut at the thoughtless louts in the car behind us. It splattered directly in the center of their windshield. Trying desperately to get strawberry jam out of their only line of sight, they made the mistake of turning on their windshield wipers. The result was that their vision was now completely obscured by smeared strawberry jam, and they had to pull over to clean it off by hand in the icy cold.

Whoa! Way to use some jam to get yourselves out of a pickle!

The folks at INNA will be delivering to Jen’s front door the following prize package:

2 jars of albion STRAWBERRY jam
1 jar of plenty spicy JALAPEÑO jam
1 jar of bread + butter persian CUCUMBER pickles
a perpetual postcard calendar

Yum!

The rest of us can still be winners too, by cashing in on INNA’s July-Only Annual Jam-and-Pickle Subscription Special!

Previously:

Legit Rap Song About Volvo Station Wagon

VOLVO!!!