The ‘Ugliest Dump in the World’

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If you’ve got friends coming in from out of town, maybe they should consider staying with local artist Merkley. Here’s his Airbnb listing:

About this listing

You’ll hate it here. San Francisco is terrible. Nobody likes this city. The food is blech, the weather is awful, there are packs of wild dogs and flocks of screeching parrots coming at you from all directions.

Every street is an uphill climb both ways.

I’m being totally serious, the hills actually switch depending on which direction you go and every 45 minutes there’s an earthquake that opens up the earth beneath your feet swallowing up all your friends.

And here’s some more info on the space itself:

The Space

This house is OLD. It was built in 1885 by some weirdo named William Crocker who thought victorians were pretty neat. Boy was he some sort of narcissist, he ran for mayor in 1909 and came in 3rd.

What a loser.

Nobody ever bothered ripping out all the fancy details that come with victorians so you’ll be surrounded by all that bullshit, plus the guy that has owned the place for the last 20 years is some bearded guy named Merkley. He is writing about himself in the third person. He thinks people like interesting things and details so he made the apartment reflect that sort of nonsense.

Have fun rolling your eyes.

Read on for lots more details and a bunch more photos.

(Thanks, Josh!)

A public service announcement about Dolores Park

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Don’t forget to clean up after yourself!

[via Ariel Dovas on Instagram]

How to get your friends to maintain eye contact with you

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Porous Walker is a genius.

[via Porous Walker on Tumblr]

Now please enjoy this long list of Porous-related links, dating way back to ’09…

Play this awesome homemade road trip bingo card by Ariel Dovas on your next road trip

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[via Ariel Dovas on Instagram]

Lots more by Ariel Dovas here!

And also don’t forget about Mission Mission Bingo!

A modern ailment and an even more modern cure

Our pal Ariel Dovas last week documented this awful new ailment:

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And then he followed up with a proposed cure:

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See a few more ideas here.

What is San Francisco made of?

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Some more fine work by Primo Pitino.

[link]

Holiday Art Party at the Galallery this Friday!

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Procrastinated on your holiday shopping again? Don’t worry, we did too. Lucky for you, the Secret Alley’s brand new Galallery is hosting a ~ Holiday Art Party ~ tomorrow night for all you slackers, featuring goodies by local artists and designers. Here’s a sneak peek:

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Limited-edition lapel pins, from the folks behind Gruen Day!

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Treats and provisions for all you boozy rats, from hello, cheetle!

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A popular sentiment on a shirt, plus other cute tees and bags from assorted local artists! Plus, so much more!

RSVP and invite your friends, and consider dropping by the BFF.fm Holiday Party right up the alley that same night.

Cool map of San Francisco

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[via Pat]

UPDATE: According to Jim, “this is a design Tucker Nichols did for Park Life.” Thanks, Jim!

Now please enjoy these other cool maps of San Francisco and stuff…

Astute commentary about national politics on a wall in the Mission

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[via Sarah]

Now please enjoy these other recent posts regarding political astuteness on Mission walls:

Check out Amos Goldbaum’s new mural at Clinton Park and Valencia