Mission Mission

Hey dudes!  I purchased a bottle of Kombucha at the 23rd and Guerrero Market last week for $2.75 – the cheapest I’ve seen in the Mission so far.

Question: has anyone found the ‘buch cheaper?  Holler in the comments section; lowest bid gets a free cheap-ass Kombucha.

[And don't be a dick and tell me to make my own at home, I have neither the time nor the fermentation know-how.]

I was just taking a peak at SFoodie for shits n’ giggles when I saw this: a fucking banner advertisement telling me that the 16th St. Pork Store is open until 3a.m. I don’t know what is more impressive: that we have another late-night dining option in the Mission now* or that I actually looked at a banner ad.

Pork Store PROTIP: Don’t get the tofu scramble.  That shit is so foul that you won’t need 13 shots of tequila in your stomach to puke all over their bathroom floor.  That said, their biscuits and veggie gravy is the jam.

* well, since August, according to this Yelp review.

What’s my favorite thing about Herbivore (Valencia at 21st)?  Everything!

Besides that, I’m pretty into this:

Did you catch that li’l trompe l’oeil (heh!  sorry.) on their menu?

Both the Sweet & Sour and Coconut Noodle soups have the exact same ingredients listed, with a few items in a different order and distracting line breaks.   Those sneaky herbivores!

Fortunately,  the soups are different, and delicious.  The Sweet & Sour tastes like hot Skittle soup, in the best way possible.

But to end on a sour note (hyuck hyuck!), if you got your hands on that coupon from Chase Bank a few weeks ago, the thing unfortunately expired last Sunday.  I found that one out the hard way.

This is the closest I've ever come to going inside Clooney's, which is sad.

Some London bloke recently came stateside on assignment to find “San Francisco’s Best Dive Bars.”  Interestingly enough, his two Mission choices were The Attic and Clooney’s.  Really?

On the subject on Clooney’s, it appears it was recently sold to a new owner (see sign above).  I cannot wait to see what goes down there.  I bet it turns into the next Medjool.

(link)

As someone without a tap-tap-tap smartphone, I often use GOOG-411 to dial up local establishments while away from the www.   Boop beep bamp bompbomp… I’ll connect you!

This past weekend, unfortch, attempts at reaching Beretta (Valencia at 23rd) were all sorts of messed.

Voice search pronunciations carried out included: brrrr-eh-tah, bee-reh-duh, beh-re-TA!, and so forth.  Attempts were made by three parties of mixed age, gender, and socioeconomic status.  No dice!

Goog did, however, pull up the following results:

• Goodwill (wha?)
• Baraka (almost!)
• Piranha (eh.)
• Ghirardelli Square (pronounced: grrr-ARRGHHH… delisquare)

Sure, okay, I’ll dine at Goodwill.

READERS: Try this one at home! If you figure out the correct way to pronounce “Beretta” for GOOG-411ing purposes, make me a reservation. The caponatina with burrata (#56 on the 7×7 list) makes eggplant relevant again (sorry, eggplant).

Sugarlump at 24th and Florida is now serving vegan tamales.  Ordinarily this would not be noteworthy, but if they are the delicious yet elusive SF Vegan Tamales, this is totally earth-shattering.

(via Vegansaurus! via eddo_likes_you via Futurama)

Where they store the coconuts.

We’re a week behind on this one, but there is a new coconut-only store at Mission and 24th, Coco Loco.  This shit is so fresh that there are no photos on Flickr, no Yelp page and no Foursquare venue, so you know it is still authy.  Two delicious coconuts full of milk for $5.   2770 Mission St.

(Hat Tip SF Weekly | Photo by Mission Mission’s Mollie C.)

Sexpigeon has the scoop.

Previously:

New Street Food Vendor Utilizes Meter Maid Mobile as Food Cart

From Ramona‘s profile of Chez Guerre:

Many believe that bringing higher end restaurants into war-zones will lead to gentrification and eventually to democracy.  “It gives people a reason to go to a neighborhood that they wouldn’t have been caught dead in before, or rather where dead is the only way they would have been caught there.”  To decrease the risk of being caught dead on your way to his restaurant John offers a complimentary armored transport service.  But he’s convinced that the surging popularity should be attributed as much to the promise of an entirely original dining concept as to a general death wish.

Read on.

Brolores Park weighs in on the upcoming dietary meme:

a bro wrote in and was all, “now that we aren’t supposed to eat in a restaurant anymore, what do you think the next ‘authentic’ thing to do is? just want to stay ahead in terms of eating authentically”

seems pretty obvious that the next thing for bros to do in order to stay authentic is to ‘forage’

seems like it’s already happening [via ForageSF]. think we’re supposed to hunt around the park/local environment looking for ‘lichens’, ‘grasses’, ‘mushrooms’, and ‘tecates’

Read on…