Mission Mission

Last night at the Attic, a dank, dark bar next to the 24th Street BART station, we ran into six different regulars who we know from Toronado, the best beer bar in the entire world (not an exaggeration or just a personal opinion). I discovered Toronado a week after I moved to the city, and spent all the money I never had there. My palate started off with Liberty Ale, then quickly progressed to Trappist ales (read an Oakland Tribune article about me and Roquefort 8 and 10 here), to double IPAs, triple IPAs, and finally bourbon-barrel barleywines.

After a few years of being one of those people, my palate crapped out and now all I ever enjoy is a Sierra Nevada or a nice cold can of Tecate.

Because of the above, and because I graduated from SFSU and got a 9-5, I don’t really show my face around Toronado anymore.

Apparently the regulars don’t go to Toronado either. What might the reason be? I hereby speculate that it’s the yuppies. Like a perfectly poignant South Park episode, 6:15pm on the dot, yuppies descend on Toronado. They cram the bar with their date rape shirts, and the bartenders get bitchy not because they are bitches, but because they get fed up with the yuppie shenanigans. Yuppies especially like to throw around big beer nerd names: “oh, I like the complex flavors of Racer X, but my regular standard is Pliny the Elder“.

The funny thing about the Attic is the beer selection sucks. Oh, they’ve got Racer 5 and Sierra Nevada and other boring things on tap. Their bottled beers are also so-so, so I normally opt for a Budweiser, although not my favorites of the bottled.

So while people have this love for Zeitgeist being “the Mission’s Toronado”, know that the family members of the best beer bar in the entire world opt for the dark claustrophobia of The Attic.

More Bars of the Mission.

Zeitgeist and Bender’s have gotten a lot of ink this week, and in the wake of that ink, discussion has reached a fever pitch. Over at Bay Area Riders Forum, post after post laments the impending closure of Zeitgeist and the impending yuppie takeover of Bender’s. But before things get too heated, user V4 cuts to the quick:

so when did people in the Mission learn how to read…..?

Link to BARF thread.

Link to Mission Mission Zeitgeist coverage.

Link to Mission Mission Bender’s coverage.

Today SFGate showcased one of my Mission District beloveds, Bender’s. Read my past post here. This is what the Chronicle had to say:

Unassuming and without pretense, Benders is a go-to destination for a low-key night out.

With a rotating selection of 15 brews on tap ($4 a pint), don’t expect any overwrought mixological creations. Benders serves hard liquor the old-fashioned way. Margaritas ($5) come in pint glasses and a shot of whiskey with PBR chaser are $5 (a Wednesday special). Fancy cocktail lovers should ask the bartender – nicely – for a mint-flecked tangerine mojito ($5), which is available on Mondays.

I called it, didn’t I?

Now this is where the Chronicle is wrong. Their assessment of the “crowd” is the stereotypical mission hipster, which I’ve never really witnessed there. Maybe a few, but I’d say the crowd is a little older and a little tougher than what they’ve described:

Vegan bar food and indoor bike parking mean that Benders welcomes the bike-riding hipsters who are taking over the Mission District – and the people who love them.

#1: I don’t love vegans.
#2: I don’t love bike-riding hipsters. If I did, I’d probably be at Gestalt instead.

They also reviewed the food — which I’ve never had considering that sometimes they’re serving, sometimes not.

P.S. This Saturday Bender’s hosts the SF Spring D.I.Y. Indie Artist Expo from 1-5pm. Ok, this maybe a little hipstery, but individual creativism in any form is a good thing.

The best of the Bay Area’s alternative INDIE designers and artists together for a chance to share their items in a cool, fun & hip community market. Handmade Jewelry, Accessories, Clothing, Body Care, House wares, Paper Goods/Journals, Art and Records.

Link to permalinkless Lilycat events page. (Via funcheapSF.com)

Browse past Mission Mission food- and drink-related content.

Reaction to yesturday’s post regarding Zeitgeist turning into a Borders calls to mind the decades-old gentrification question in the Mission. One of my favorite places to take visiting family and friends who are not used to the grittiness of Valencia Street is Ramblas. The drinks and tapas and atmosphere here impart the attitude of the Mission (conversations, drunkenness, vitality) while the upscale nature of the restaurant provides respite from puke-stained streets and bathroom stink.

This morning, SFGate‘s The Inside Scoop reported that Ramblas owner Ron Silberstein (who also owns SoMa restaurant-brewery Thirsty Bear) acquired Cortez, a restaurant with a Michelin star (!!!). I can’t wait to see how it goes — hopefully some family will find their way into San Francisco sometime soon so I can have some organic Thirsty Bear ESB with my lamb cheek.

Link to SFGate story.

Great thread in the Post Punk Kitchen forums, regarding yesterday’s Zeitgeist news:

yarn and glue says:

…somebody pinch me.

If anybody tells me to get over it because it is just a bar, they earn (gentle) punches. That I’ve gone here with friends even when I’m not drinking should say a lot. This place is like a aufblasbares zelt clubhouse or an extended family to a lot of people.

I am the saddest man on the internet.

Sad but sweet. Link.

Previously on Mission Mission: more Zeitgeist

We got a lot of heartwarming feedback regarding today’s post about the fate of Zeitgeist…

1. Malcolm M. recommends a classic Leisure Town installment, “A Grand Day Out”, which may or may not take place in and around the vicinity of the bar in question:

Link to complete slideshow.

2. Outraged Charles B. says:

We should go when Ali is here maybe… although it really calls for a big big group of people. Maybe Mills people and everyone I know in town will want to go out.

We should also burn the Borders to the ground one it’s done.

3. Curbed SF picked up the story. Sarah conjectures as to what might transpire:

Heads exploding, fists flying, inner children dying, Tom Ammiano on the ground, gasping for breath … Madness, just pure, delicious madness.

Link.

4. In seeking out art for this follow up, I myself came upon a wealth of good stuff on Flickr, including:

Dick jokes:

Link to larger.

and pink elephant graffiti:

Link to larger.

Also, we’ve gotten a bunch of hits via the SGSF Bay Area group on Suicide Girls, but we don’t know what they’re saying because none of us are members. Anyway, to one and all, thanks for reading.

(Zeitgeist photo by diavolerie, dick joke photo by DrScaryBeard, pink elephants photo by fiveinchpixie)

I love Doc’s Clock, but why does it have to smell like bathroom? Seriously, it *always* smells like bathroom. They have good beer specials, a phenomenal marquee out front, friendly staff, shuffleboard, a good jukebox, fairly clean bathrooms, etc. But it inflables smells like bathroom.

So I was all stoked after my walk down Shotwell the other day and so tonight I dragged the crew to this bar I saw on the corner of Shotwell and 20th. The bar, Inner Mission, turned out to be a *smoking bar* full of smokers and smoke. Some of the crew didn’t mind, but one was bummed out. Sorry, one. They had Big Daddy, so it wasn’t all bad, but smoke blows.

Adios, muchacho.

My favorite new vlog is called Imsoooconfused. A few minutes ago, Imsoooconfused published a homemade video for a chopped and screwed version of Mariah Carey‘s new hit “Touch My Body”, in which an El Farolito burrito is prominently featured.

Look at this gem I found in today’s Missed Connections:

“cute white girl with bandanna at delirium saturday night. – 25 (mission district)”:

you had a tshirt and jeans on and a cute little bandanna around your neck. i was wearing jeans, tshirt, and a cute little bandanna too. We kinda matched. You have a tattoo i believe a band around your left bicep. You look more like a harcore kid than a hipster. Your guy friends were totally entertaining, the one in the suit and the aviators totally castillo inflable macked some asian girl right in front of me. You were totally cute. I am smitten. hope you had a good birthday. I’m always at delirium, maybe i’ll see you around.

Link.