Mission Mission

Freaky!

It looks like ordinary mayo, but it contains cheddar — and it is awesome. And you can put it on your fries or your onion rings or your burger or your crab burger or your filet of tofu sandwich or your wedge salad or — or you could just get a second side of cheddar mayo and put it on that!

Ryan works mostly with paper, making stuff like the above. But he’s also famous for his clothing line Cool Try, and he’s opening a shop in the neighborhood (483 14th Street) on May 11th.

Here’s a peek inside his process:

@zmorvant @sfist @missionmission it got pretty fucking brutal – women decked, ears chewed off, blood trails etc. twitter.com/JoshSimpson/st…

— JoshSimpson (@JoshSimpson) April 11, 2013

@zmorvant @sfist @missionmission green shorts held the ear meatus up and invited everyone to come at him, no one did & he left, bloodfangd

— JoshSimpson (@JoshSimpson) April 11, 2013

[Photos by Josh Simpson]

This dude just used a CHAINSAW at 11pm to cut off the boot from his car out front of my house. Smart. vine.co/v/bt5AA0tFjdg

— Emily Proud (@emproud) April 10, 2013

(Thanks, Lizzy!)

There’s never a dull moment at DJ Purple’s Dance Karaoke parties, but some scenes really get imprinted on your brain. Like when Rapper John takes the stage and totally nails fast-paced club hits like “Party Rock Anthem” and “Gangnam Style.” He’s a somewhat older gentleman, so there’s always a sea of Mission youngsters double-taking in unison as he launches into one of his signature jams.

I asked DJ Purple to tell me what he knows about the guy:

I saw Rapper John singing Rapper’s Delight at Roger Niner’s show a few years ago, and realized what a perfect match he would be for my show. I was really happy when he finally showed up a few weeks later to check out my show. It was fabulous, and he’s been a regular ever since.

I only know a little of Rapper John’s history, mostly stories from other KJ’s. They say he’s been a legend in the Bay Area and Las Vegas karaoke scenes for years, always picking the perfect crowd-pleasing songs and wowing everyone with his lyrical prowess.

Last year, I laid down a special challenge for him to learn a new song. When Gangnam Style came out, I knew immediately that he was the perfect man for that song, but was afraid rapping in Korean might be too much for even Rapper John. He took it on, and that song was indeed almost too much for him, but Rapper John triumphed in the end – he found a hilarious English phonetic translation parody of Gangnam Style by Chad Wild Clay and used that to conquer the Korean pronunciation. Since then, “Condom Style” with Rapper John has been a regular feature at my shows, to the delight of the dancing audiences…

Delight is right. People go NUTS. Lucky for us, DJ Purple put us in touch with the man himself. After the jump, the official Mission Mission Rapper John interview, followed by a video of Rapper John doing “Party Rock” at Singin’ & Pingin’ 2 last December.

And do try to catch Rapper John and DJ Purple in action this Friday night at Singin’ & Pingin’ 3 at the Verdi Club!

[Photo by Jess Kelso / American Tripps]

(more…)

So reports the acclaimed Mills Baker, who’s currently out and about, taking in the sunshine. Watch your step, y’all!

UPDATE: Mills highlights that these are “perfectly normal” people, walking around barefoot, in the Mission.

I mean, my house’s backyard has a pretty sick reclaimed no-parking sign that I’m pretty into, but this takes the cake:

Good news if you’re already tired of ping pong and bowling! Eater SF reports:

[T]he neighborhood is now scheduled to get a mini-golf course, Urban Putt. Spearheaded by former CNET and PC World editor Steve Fox, the 18-hole course will be housed in the long-vacant former mortuary at 22nd and South Van Ness, and is scheduled to feature a 70-seat restaurant with upscale comfort-food fare from a “well-known restaurant group” and a cocktail program by the Bon Vivants.

Look for it in 2014. Read on for further details.

[Image by Google Street View]

Head for Shotwell Street and let the SFFD hose you down: