Mission Mission

Reader Scott Cohen last night found there was nowhere to lock his bike outside the Phonebooth, so he locked to the digging bucket of this backhoe parked in the street. So resourceful!

[link]

P.S. Did you know backhoes are also known as rear actors and back actors? Wild.

It was just about quitting time in the dusty Mission Mission offices when the bossman smacked this photo on my desk.

I was just about to type the final period to wrap up the case of a missing bike lock, but now this new mystery sat in the middle of my cluttered desk. I looked up at Allan. The late afternoon sun cut across his face, shading his eyes and illuminating the old unlit cigar butt that he had been chewing on since he staggered in that morning.

“What do you make of this?” he grumbled. “I caught it on my way back from lunch with a tipster. I don’t think anyone saw me take the picture, I’m good at looking like I’m just texting.”

“Yeah, you’re the best. That’s how you got where you are.” I mumbled, thinking about a carne asada burrito at El Farolito that had my name on it. It had been a long day, lots of commenters to quibble with, and I wanted to get out.

“Well, do what you do. I’ll be at Benders, in my booth. Bring it over when you’re done.” He popped the rest of the cigar into his mouth and swallowed, hard. Then he grabbed his hoodie and walked out the door.

Andrew, Vic and the rest were probably already at Benders. I was alone in the office. The sounds of Mission Street filled the darkening room. I sighed, reaching deep into my desk and pulling out a flask. I took a long pull of whisky as I switched on my green glass desk lamp. “This won’t end well,” I muttered to myself. I got to work. An hour later this was staring back at me:

Where this case goes from here is anyone’s guess.

The Bold Italic compares the city’s Bloody Marys, complete with cross-sectional illustrations. Almost half of them can be found in the Mission, including several past contenders of the Mission Mission Bloody Marython. It makes perfect sense that the city’s most vibrant neighborhood would be responsible for the best in the world’s most complex cocktail.

Says SF Appeal:

A community that came together to solve the problem of persistent graffiti at a neighborhood park celebrated the unveiling of a mural painted in the hope of staving off vandalism.

Potrero del Sol Park, which is a favorite among skaters and schoolchildren, is bordered by Buena Vista Elementary School and a building maintained by San Francisco General Hospital.

Taggers constantly targeted a wall of the hospital building, according to the city’s Recreation and Park Department. After hospital painters’ efforts to efface the wall were thwarted time and time again, the community rallied.

They rallied and came up with this pretty mural idea and got it funded and here it is. Buuut don’t those big, wide, bright white block letters look like they might be pretty inviting to taggers? Or is that the point? They’re daring neighborhood taggers to be complete and total dicks? So that when they take the bait, tougher measures later on will be perfectly justified? Or am I thinking too hard?

Read on.

[via Curbed SF]

[Photo by Mission Local]

SFist was there:

[I]f the scene we observed Tuesday evening was any indication, even the mothers with small children who frequent the park solely for wholesome jungle-gym purposes share something in common with the rowdy PBR-swilling, fixie-stacking folks to the north, who are fond of anarchist graffiti. They totally cut a hole in the fence within like 24 hours (not visible, at right), and then just went ahead and mowed down a section of the fence so they could get back in!

The question is, when they fence off hipster hill to fix the drainage later in the year, will us rowdy PBR-swilling, fixie-stacking folks trample the fence in order to sit in mucky grass like we usually do? Read on.

Cute, right? Oh, and look, it’s also an advertisement for an art opening! By local hero Kelly Malone! Here go some details:

Something Old, Something New, Kelly Malone’s first large solo show, consisting of one of a kind art pieces created from recycled woods, stencils, screen prints and moss. All pieces were created using recycled materials and inspired by photos, fabrics, stories and pieces from her grandparents and parents. Kelly used unique materials, as well trades/ crafts that have been taught from her family. Each piece has a personalized story, memory or item that gives homage to the art of handmade, 3 generations of makers in her family and how it has inspired her.

RSVP and invite your friends here.

(Thanks, Scum!)

Apparently this ended with the cabbie being arrested. Nice one, dude.

[via Lindsey]

Reader sinkstuart spotted this NY-inspired burrito at Taqueria Vallarta. The “Manhattan” features carrots, red pepper, broccoli, cauliflower, and zucchini. Zing! This is clearly a subtle jab at New York. Well played, Vallarta.

If this menu is a bit too experimental for you don’t worry, head over to their taco corner for tripas, lengua, and cabeza stewing in their juices. Best damn tacos in town, even if they are $1.75 now.

Our man Dex has the whole story here. Be sure to click through for the full image, which reveals a third participant and the answer to the question, “Where the fuck are that dude’s shoes?”

Right? Brains or like a really gross giant-size molecule of cellulite or something?

Nope. Find out the truth after the jump:

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