Mission Mission

I’m pretty sure SFist editor Brock Keeling said all that needs to be said:

Exactly what is S.F. Bike Party, you ask? Let’s see: SFBP is new and meant “for all riders of different ages, types, and skill levels to enjoy.” They “encourage people to bring positivity and contribute to good times while being respectful to others.” They “follow planned routes along the way.” And, best of all, they urge you to “dance and socialize along the way.”

What fun. Think of it as Critical Mass’ younger, more controlled sister who likes to karaoke after a glass of Chardonnay. She’s a total stitch, but won’t get you into too much trouble. The perfect way to start your commitment to cycling more in 2011.

Perfecto! See you there!

RSVP on Facebook here.

[Spoke card by Bikes and the City]

Tonight we find more mistreatment of animals.

First they put dead herons on signs, then we all eat dead animals in restaurants*, and now our internet friend/troll Cranky Old Mission Guy has been piecing together what looks to be some kind of bizarre criminal act. The evidence is as follows.

The head of a chicken.

The head of a reindeer.

The weapon?!?!

And finally, the suspects:

Actually, Crank has a better description of this scene:

“(left-to-right) Fred’s white girlfriend, Fred, and some neighborhood activist they don’t know, who is interrupting their make-out session.”

Seriously, that chicken head makes me sad. And I do feel mean about joking about a dead animal’s head lying on the ground. But I eat meat, so I obviously don’t have much regard for a chicken’s life or treatment. (sigh)

*I know.

UPDATE: Thanks to Crank’s fine detective work, the prime suspect has been apprehended!

It goes to a recycling center to get turned into ethanol. Salon reports:

Brian Potter, vice president of operations at MXI’s facility in Abingdon, Va., said about a couple of hundred truckloads of the drinks would be coming to the plant. Each truck holds 2,000 cases of the 23.5-ounce cans.

MXI Enterprises is one of three facilities in the U.S. that recycle ethanol, according to the American Coalition for Ethanol, an industry group. Potter said Thursday that his competitors also are taking shipments of the drinks.

“We’re equipped to process four truckloads a day, and we’re at full capacity,” he said. “There are about 30 different products involved, and we’ve only seen a couple of them at this point. It could go on for several months.”

I see a Pixar movie about a case of poor, defenseless, anthropomorphized Four Lokos banding together to battle their way out of the recycling facility and into the bellies of some grateful cool kids. Read on.

[Thanks, Kevin!]

[Photo by Carina]

Blam!

[Cartoon by Tika Hall]

Previously:

Bar Bunnies

Thanks, Dude

What kind of high-technology do you suppose Chase has employed to keep vandals off the gleaming marquee of its yet-to-open new 21st and Mission location?

Well, crew, you’re in luck. Beginning this month and continuing through March, Box Dog Bikes will teach you. Here are descriptions all the classes they’ll be offering:

Know Your Bike:  Learn all the names of the parts of your bike; learn how to replace an inner tube (fix a flat); learn the wonders of the rag, cleaning your bike keeps your brakes working better, and your chain shifting more reliably.

Brakes:  Learn the basics of your braking system.  We learn how to replace cables and housing, replace brake pads, and conduct the various adjustments necessary to get a strong and centered brake.

Shifting: Learn the basics of your gear shifting system.  We learn how to replace cables and housing.  We learn about what is necessary to maintain clean/crisp shifting in both front and rear derailleurs.

The Bicycle Wheel: Adjusting hubs and truing rims.  We learn how to keep your hubs spinning smoothly without wobble, and how to straighten and round your rims.

Bearing Systems: The only advanced class, if there is one here.  We take apart hubs, bottom brackets and headsets; repack them; and adjust the bearings.  Time permitting, and interest level, you will get the opportunity to overhaul one or two of these bicycle components.

Click here for schedules and pricing.

The new year is upon us and by now many of you have already flaked on your resolutions.  Things like, “No eating pints of Humphrey Slocumb Blue Bottle Vietnamese Coffee ice cream in bed and then immediately falling asleep” and “Run up to the top of Twin Peaks from 23rd and Valencia every other day” sound easy enough when you’re guzzling champagne while the ball’s dropping, but odds are these ambitious plans have already fallen by the wayside, and we haven’t even made it through the first week!

Moreover, those are some pretty selfish resolutions.  Why not get into the spirit of GIVING BACK to the community (and humanity) instead by volunteering at Shanti, one of the coolest non-profits in the city?  These rad folks provide emotional and practical support to San Francisco’s most vulnerable individuals living with life-threatening illness; namely, people suffering from HIV/AIDS and breast cancer.  A Peer Support Volunteer gets paired up with a client (someone with HIV/AIDS or breast cancer who has come to Shanti for help) and just basically hangs out with them and does things like doing chores, running errands, or providing companionship, thus helping the client continue to live independently.

It’s definitely not easy (they ask for a commitment of 2 to 6 hours a week for at least 6 months), but rest assured it’s some of the most poignant and emotionally rewarding experiences anyone can go through.  If you really want to make a difference this year with your resolution, Shanti is the place to go.  Plus, they’re having a training session at the end of this month, starting on Friday, January 28th!  Check out all the details here!

Sometimes “For a good time, call…” graffiti isn’t specific enough. What kind of “good time” are we talking about? The secret location of a warehouse with a ball pit?

“Free Beer” is the kind of good time we can all appreciate. I’m not sure how this transaction will be carried out, though. Delivery or pickup? Will you be shuffled into a conference room and forced to watch a DVD on Lake Tahoe timeshares?

[snapped at 24th and Valencia by pwacher]

The copy reads, “Until there’s a cure, Tim Lincecum throws strikes.”

So, if somebody cures AIDS tomorrow, no more strikes? Seems like a powerful disincentive.

How about, “Until there’s a cure, Tim Lincecum sits on the bench”? That might get it done, right?

Mission Local this morning takes a look inside Halberstadt Fencers’ Club, the typographically compelling storefront on South Van Ness. Watch now!

Previously:

Don’t Fence Me In