Mission Mission

Hurry, get your historically-accurate Santas at that One $ Only store* between 23rd and 24th!

*Item may not actually be $1. It’s one of those misleading “one dollar and up” stores. WTF? All they are doing is setting a minimum price.

Gaucho bandleader, Tom Cruise impersonator, and my upstairs neighbor Dave Ricketts (hey have you seen his guitar?) will be teaching an 8-week Gypsy Jazz guitar course at the new mission music school Zambaleta in January. You’ve probably seen Gaucho rockin’ those Django Reinhardt hits every Wednesday 8-10pm for the past 6 years (!) at Amnesia.

This class begins January 5, 2010 and meets every Wednesday at 1pm for 8 weeks for $150. Join this gypsy jazz guitar class to learn this distinct style. Learn the ‘la pompe’ strumming style and percussive playing techniques for rhythm guitar. Then switch gears to develop lead guitar skills. For this function, you will work on soloing using chromaticism, arpeggios, and glissandos. A guitar is required for this class.

After this class, you will play circles around that weird rocker dude in the mission. I occasionally play this stuff and I can confirm that it gets the ladies attention. Granted they are mostly senior citizens who want to feel how firm my arms are.

Django did all this with two fingers, by the way:

If that’s not your style, there are a ton of other classes being offered at Zambaleta, including Arab Oud. Not as cool as the Ultra Oud-Harptar, but halfway there!

There’s a metric fuckton of bands playing today at ATA celebrating their 25th anniversary. BBQ starting now and music at 1pm. Get your ass down there! Hopefully the sun comes out and doesn’t fake us out like it did yesterday. WTF sun? It was like “hey it’s a nice day”… sike! HAIL TIME. 992 Valencia St.

Saw this guy doing his thing last night at the Lab (16th and Capp). WTF dude, why don’t you play an instrument that actually exists?

But seriously, Jozef Van Wissem is the best one-of-those-players I have ever seen. According to Jozef’s wikipedia, the instrument is a Renaissance lute and his current approach is to write out traditional Baroque pieces backwards and add his own themes and variations. If I had to describe the sound, it’s like God barfing a golden slip-n-slide into James Hetfield’s brain while he’s vacationing at his summer home south of Tajikistan. Check out this vid of him that I recorded on my fashion/social accessory informationPhone:

Oh shit, son! It’s getting hella steamy inside Cha-Ya tonight. If the vegetarian Japanese restaurant is a-rockin’ don’t come knockin’!

Btw as a representative of the Asian culture I should inform you that in fuedal Japan serving a neighboring family vegetarian sushi was an act of war.

I was checking out the Cartoon Art Museum and saw this sweet original page from Spain Rodriguez‘ “Mission Nites” comic. The first panel is sorta surreal, huh? That dollar store used to be an 89-cent store! Those run-down theaters actually were open at some point!

They also have a small but undeniably awesome exhibit of some sets and puppets from the recent Wes Anderson movie Fantastic Mr. Fox. These sexxy puppets should tide you over until Furcon 2010. It’s running until Jan. 10 so get down there and cough up $6 ($4 if you have a student ID or passable forgery).

Speaking of fur suits, you probably walked right by 826 Valencia and didn’t realize that Max’s real (and apparently filthy) “Where The Wild Things Are” wolf suit is chillin’ in their window. Ewww, betcha it’s covered in boogers and cookie crumbs.

(via emblem30‘s flickr)

P.S. Go ahead, tell me all about how pretentious you think Wes Anderson movies are.

P.P.S. Should I buy a home in Concord?

Impending cilantro disaster at El Farolito.

Somebody should do something. Like you, chick in front of the line over-pronouncing her order en Espanol. Give it a rest, would ya?  You don’t get a discount for successfully utilizing the vosotros tense.

Beep! is a great piano jazz trio made up of some Oberlin kids (Go Yeomen/Yeowomen!). In case you didn’t know, Oberlin grads have been steadily taking over the SF music scene for years. I’m not quite sure how you should feel about that… probably similar to how you feel about Canadians.

Pianist (ha!) Michael Coleman performs original compositions with a delightful blend of virtuosity and quirk. He has also been known to play wild versions Weezer songs (Blue album and Pinkerton only, of course), so be sure to request them in a non-obnoxious way. But don’t tell this Spaniard about it, ok?

As always, there’s no cover at the Revolution Cafe and I know that makes you broke you-know-what-sters happy. So throw a fiver in the tip jar will ya? They are sick of eating Stouffer’s. Rev is on 22nd and Bartlett next to that weird new hookah bar. They go from 8:30-11:30pm.

I always hit up Taqueria Vallarta after a show at Blue Six. The $1.50 taco bar is second to none. They fry up all the meats simultaneously in a loosely-partitioned circular grill that I affectionately call “Noah’s Ark”.

It’s a beautiful thing: you order with the man behind the grill, he loads up some tacos, you pay some tired guy wearing a change apron, and you pile on as much cilantro as you can handle. Hey La Taqueria: take note. $3.50 for a taco is ROBBERY.

Anyway, last time somebody told me to check out the mural while I was there. Ok, I thought, probably just another busty Aztec babe fetching a vase of water while a menacing conquistador stares on. Nope, try ill-proportioned 49ers playing football under the Golden Gate Bridge with the dolphins.

Then there’s more: the artist took it upon himself to write a rambling narrative about the parallel-universe origins of San Francisco and how bitchin’ the 49ers are. Did you know that they have the “excitement of the bear”?

Anyone know the story behind this masterpiece? Some borracho repaying his debt to the owner? Another coded message to members of the New World Order? Best explanation gets a taco on me. These are high stakes, folks.

Bombshell Betty and Fromagique are hosting a holiday themed stripping burlesque show at the Elbo Room tonight. With names like “Rosy Areola” and “Vadge O’Fonner” how can you go wrong? Fans of boobs artistic expression shouldn’t miss this one.

If that’s not your bag, Evan Francis’ Spaceheater is performing at Coda Lounge as part of Jazz Mafia Tuesdays. Never been to Coda? No biggie, but I guess Stevie Wonder hangs there sometimes. If you like jazz flute over break beats then Evan’s your guy. BTW he’s not the flautist in Anchorman, but apparently they know each other real well. Jazz flautists probably have each other on speed dial to sub out gigs.