Mission Mission

The Bay Taper just put up some beautiful clips of a recent performance at the Red Poppy Art House by Erik Jekabson Quartet which I am just loving this afternoon. The group also features one of my favorite guitarists Mike Abraham and saxaphonist Dayna Stephens. You can catch most of these guys regularly every Wednesday at Amnesia‘s Micheal Abraham Session at 10pm.

If you don’t follow the Bay Taper, it’s amazing. I have no idea how one guy is able to so much. Studio-quality recording of live performance, stunning high resolution pictures, and HD video of local jazz shows.

A fortnight ago, we were delighted by the sudden appearance of miseltoe all over the mission. This week Christmas trees are taking it to the streets. But unfortunately, this is not as fun. You can’t really make out with a stranger under one without getting covered in pine needles. They just sorta get in your way while you’re walking.

Most trees just crash out on the sidewalk like some marina transplant that had a few too many drinks before being kicked out of Kilowatt for grabbing girls. (Hey side story: I actually spent the day in the Marina yesterday and found it to be quite lovely. Great food, beautiful scenery, and Bro-douchery was minimal at best. I did hear a group of dudes refer to a really cute dog as a “panty-dropper” which sorta broke my heart a little. On the other hand, I heard some other guy on the bus use the term “warm up” for what I call “pre-party” and I’ve been using it ever since. Anyway, on to the tree):

Or some folks just let that tree crawl away itself. Look out! Conifer crossing! (Valencia & 15th)

Hey, even dead trees need some of that good ‘ol H20. Check out this guy in a stylish plastic winter coat straddling a fire hydrant. Tampering with city property just for another sip? Tsk!

This tree always had bigger dreams. Traffic safety dreams. Some might call it a hero. (22nd and Bartlett)

But I think the most creative tree disposal comes to us courtesy of 1337 h4x0r and all around swell guy Mr. Eric Sir. This tree is the perfect muni stop companion. No idle chit-chat, no seat hogging, just a pine-fresh scent while you wait.

Unfortunately, it also seems to be a piss magnet. What is it about human nature that makes it so appealing to piss next to plants?

See you next year, trees.

If there’s one mama bear to all not-really-a-dollar-stores, it’s gotta be Giant Value on 22nd and Mission. I always find myself staring at it while waiting for the 49 bus and I snapped this sweet pic of it’s glorious façade over the weekend.

I honestly don’t understand how these businesses are sustainable. First of all, you got ten more shops on the same two block radius selling the same stuff. Secondly, that’s got to be one of the biggest buildings in the mission and rent can’t be cheap. With prices hovering somewhere near a dollar the profit margins can’t be that high.

It’s got to be a front for something. Maybe they are smuggling carne asada to the east coast.

Oh, and the Yelp reviews about the place are pretty hilarious. Not amazon.com wolf T-shirt reviews hilarious, but still a good read:

“…here you can find home pregnancy tests that actually work for $1.49!!!  Because sometimes you need more than one test.”

“Granted there’s something a little off about their brands of breakfast cereals (does Tony The Tiger have pinkeye?)”

“…shop there before the hipsters infiltrate and buy all the jesus belt buckles and cans of pabst lite!”

“…it’s fun to buy something completely written in another language and just hope it does what you think it does.”

BTW, still no takers on that mission theater. Can’t one of you dot-com cash-outs buy it and open a theater full of couches that serves the People’s Beer and  plays awesome movies like Back to the Future and Ghostbusters?

The future of advertising: deadpan, nonchalant. Yeah.

SoCha Cafe on Mission and Valencia.

P.S. Did you know “SoCha” is short for “South of Chavez”? Barf.

I saw this inside Escape from NY right next to less-interesting memorabilia from the likes of Led Zeppelin and Peggy Bundy.

So aside from “She sells tamales to drunks” and “everyone is hella chill with that” we also know that the Tamale Lady appreciates her fans and has poor penmanship. But I want to know more. Does she have kids? Does she pay taxes? Was “tamale lady” ever “tamale girl”?

I guess if you have 20 minutes to spare you can get the full scoop about Virginia (that’s her name, dude) from that documentary on youtube. Yeah, it’s a couple of years old and we sorta covered it before, but it could use some more views. Especially if crap like the Grape Lady falling down and apparently ripping out her trachea is almost up to 5 million.

Hey film school readers, can you please do a doc on Omer the guitar guy next? Thanks.

(more…)

No reputable unicycle shop will sell you a lock. If you can manage to escape on an opponent’s unicycle you are entitled to keep it. It’s part of the unicyclists’ code.

(Spotted @ 22nd and Bartlett)

P.S. I had to do some serious CSI shit to make this photo viewable.

You may not know his name, but you’ve definitely heard Jim Campilongo‘s tasteful telecaster playing on records by Norah Jones and Cake. The guy is a goddamned wizard on that guit-box and he will be joined by legendary pedal steel player Bobby Black at the Makeout Room tonight. Expect some shit kickin’ hillbilly jazz in Jimmy Bryant / Speedy West tradition.

A bit pricey for a mission show at $15 (that’s like 3 burritos), but if you can spring it I’m sure you wont be disappointed. Here are the details:

JIM CAMPILONGO AND BOBBY BLACK CHRISTMAS SHOW with Kenny Owen and Chris Kee
MONDAY DECEMBER 21 8 PM THE MAKEOUT ROOM $15
3225 22ND ST.
SAN FRANCISCO
415 647-2888

http://www.makeoutroom.com/

Here’s a video of Jim doin’ his thing (that shirt is pretty bad, but don’t hold it against him):

URGENT! Mission SRO Collaborative is collecting toys for about 100 kids in need because Toys for Tots came up short this year.

These kids are seriously gonna have a shitty Christmas if you don’t help out. And I’m not talking about like when you were 8 and your mom fucked up and got you a Go-Bot instead of a Transformer. We’re talking no toys AT ALL for these little tykes. At this rate, these kids might prematurely stop believing in Santa (or black Santa) which will have some serious social ramifications (decreased cheer/goodwill towards man, disbelief in the easter bunny and muppets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria).

Help stop the downfall of society now. Here are the details:

We need Toys (nothing fancy, just simple things like action figures, dolls, games, puzzles…you know the real stuff) by (This is the URGENT part) Monday 12/21 at 3pm.

How to get them to us: We are at 938 Valencia St. between 20^th and 21^st and we will take donations of Toys at any time between 9 and 6pm.

If you can’t stop by or need to make special arrangements, call me Jorge Portillo at 415-671-5089 or someone here at the Collaborative 415-282-6209 ext 16, 12, or 19 or email me at jorge@dscs.org or facebook or portillomail@gmail.com and I will personally see to it that they get here!

More at Dolores Street Community Services. Thanks Laurie @ Mission Locatl for the tip.

Amnesia is unveiling a new mural by Andre Karpov tonight. You may recognize his other works at places like Pizzaria Delfina, and that alley by Range. He also happens to be a great songwriter and musician.

While this mural doesn’t quite have the excitement of the bear, it does feature a bunch of local mission personalities. That accordionist in the mural is none other than Rob Reich. In fact, Rob is playing during the unveiling with ragtime guitar genius Craig Ventresco (you may have heard Craig’s music in the movie Crumb) and Meredith Axelrod. They play there every Friday, by the way. I wonder if Rob knows he’s been muralized? If not, awk-WAARD!

Say, maybe you’ve been muralized too. You’re just gonna have to go and see for yourself; that’s why I posted an ultra low-res of the mural. Unveiling starts at 7pm. Amnesia is on Valencia between 19th and 20th. Stick around for the happy hour drinks!

Great show at the Hemlock Tavern tonight! In case you didn’t know they have shows in that weird walk-in ‘fridge area in the back.

Top Critters is a bizarre and wonderful 5-piece acoustic instrumental group that puts slide whistle and accordion to great use.  La Corde is a new group out of the mission that likes it’s punk of the post variety. Drummer Andrew can beat Metroid in under 2 hours and get the bikini ending; ask him how.

Oh yeah in case you missed it, last night at the ‘lock was awesome too. Dreamdate was cute as hell and played my fav song (that one that goes “uh-uh-oh uh-uh-oh”). Brian Glaze and the Nightshift rocked so hard I had to grab people and demand that they air guitar with me. The second thing might have had to do with drinking too many PBRs. Allan’s back, I had to! Successful evening all around.