Mission Mission

Evany, in a post titled Cafe Platitude (ha!), sums up everyone’s (most everyone’s) thoughts on everyone’s (most everyone’s) favorite neighborhood raw-food haunt:

Sadly their food is kind of tasty, jerks. But their whole shitty concept makes me so crabby, I refuse to interact with them. So like a kid getting someone to buy wine coolers at the 7-11, I sent my friend Megan (who speaks hippie) up to the Cafe Gratitude at the farmers market (where of course they have a booth), and she purchased me three I Am Insightfuls as I stood off to the side, trying not to faint from rolling my eyes so hard. As the guy handed back the change, he asked Megan, his face all punch-me-in-the-face-please serene, “So what core value do you care about most?”

Read the whole thing here.

Tree from the Free Farm Stand poses a revolutionary idea:

I must admit I like all the attention the free farm stand is getting, but I hope people connect with one of the ideas that I am trying to promote, which is to get away from the business model of doing things. It is about the crazy notion that there is more to life than making a living. That it can be totally wonderful to be a helpful person in the world in whatever way we can. For me one of those things is gardening and sharing my enthusiasm for growing food and flowers with others, turning others onto the idea of slowing down a bit and spending time with dirt and trees. And giving away any extra stuff, be it the too many things I collect or the extra food I grow does bring me joy.

He goes on to make a dozen or more other great points that genuinely for a second make me want to quit my job and grow beets. Link.

Missed Connection between my face and your boot:

Did you beat me up Friday night? – 27 (mission district)

(this is not a romantic listing) Friday around 4:30pm I started drinking at Zeitgeist. I don’t think I was drinking heavily, but probably started a little early. Better get some food to soak up some of the alcohol, I thought. So me and friend hit Aslom’s Rasoi for some tasty Indian food. Then we went back to his place around the corner and drank large amounts of liquor. This is where my memory temporarily stops.

I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

The next memory I have is me stumbling down the street with puke on my sleeve, dirt all over and feeling pretty grumpy. I got a cab from the Castro Bank of America and didn’t notice until the next morning that my jaw was swollen as hell and I had a black eye.

And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

I can live with the swollen and bruised face, but not knowing how I got it is really eating me. I’m left to fill in the blanks on my own and I’m afraid I may have been a total jerk, or possibly just fell down some stairs?

I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.

I love when stereotypes come true.

So, if you kicked my a$$ (or saw me get it kicked), why not take credit for it and let me know. I would really like to know what I did/said in order to receive this masterpiece beating.

I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

P.S. Are you a ninja?

Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

Previously on Mission Mission:

Dick Cabbie Robs Fare, Leaves Her Curbside, Battered and Phoneless

‘Hamlet’ with Zeitgeist Employees

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Snap! This person got served! I don’t even want to see the original post, this really says it all.

Previously on Mission Mission:

‘Hipster’ ‘Douchebag’ ‘Mission District’

I swear I didn’t write this

I thought we all liked the purple; what gives? On the other hand, it’s kind of nice, like how Treasure Island and the Mirage are across from each other and their signs have the same lettering.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Requested, 12:45am at Beauty Bar

Dope New Furnishings at Beauty Bar

Bars of the Mission: Beauty Bar Part II

Just got word:

Second Annual Pie Baking Contest
Sunday August 3, 2008, 2:00 – 5:00 pm
Location: Mission Pie, 2901 Mission Street at 25th St.
www.missionpie.com

Get out your rolling pin and bring a pie to the contest!
Come and taste your neighbors’ baking.
SUBMIT YOUR PIE BY 3:30PM to be eligible to win!
Pie contest award winners announced at 4:00pm by MC Nathan Lynch

Previously on Mission Mission:

Mission Pie to Serve Pizza Pie!

New Tractor Seat Stools at Mission Pie!

Mission Pie Resolves International Human-Trafficking Crisis!

I heard whispered rumors of such a phenomenon, and so I decided to walk into the lion’s den. I stepped into Mission Pie and demanded an answer from the teenager behind the counter. With darting eyes and a hushed voice, he confirmed that this is indeed the case. Mission Pie will soon expand into more than a sweet treat store: pizza is on its way!

Apparently, a new kitchen or something unimportant like that has to be finished and it won’t be done until probably late this year, but I didn’t really hear the specifics. I was in a pizza haze, imagining a late night slice on the way home from BART, laughing joyously with a friend. There may have also been a warm breeze in the air and a friendly bum on the sidewalk.

Has anyone told Serrano’s?

Is chicken pot pie next?

Will Mission Mission ever get sick of Mission Pie stories?

But seriously, there were no dogs there at the time. Was it residual dog, or ancient gold-rush stink or what? Link.

On Thursdays, Karen at off the (meat)hook publishes haiku-style restaurant reviews. This week’s edition features reviews of a dozen San Francisco taquerias, most of which are in the Mission. Usually she’s right on the money:

EL FAROLITO
2779 Mission St. (@ 24th St.)
4817 Mission St. (btw. Onondaga & Russia)

good, cheap, open late!
an old standby loved by most.
on the dirty side.

All true.

LA CUMBRE TAQUERÍA
515 Valencia (@16th St.)

I’d say good, not great.
a standard taquería.
used to be better.

Yeah, that’s what I hear.

PAPALOTE MEXICAN GRILL
3409 24th St. (@ Valencia)

clean, well-lit, quite fine.
burritos yes, tacos no.
sometimes a bit bland.

Yep, Papalote in a nutshell.

TAQUERÍA CANCUN
2288 Mission St. (btw 18th & 19th Sts.)
3211 Mission St. (@29th St.)
1003 Market St. (@ 6th St.)

ugh. why? well, it’s bad,
it’s dirty, and it’s not nice.
I don’t get it. blech.

Wait, what!? Actually, it’s good, it’s no dirtier than Farolito, and it’s nice. I totally get it. Yum!

Previously on Mission Mission:

How to Eat a Mission-Style Burrito

La Cumbre Taqueria: Awful Carne Asada, Great Visuals

Carnitas at Taqueria Can-Cun! Finally!

Look what I ran into during my lunch break in downtown San Jose.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Affordable Engagement Rings For Sale in La Taqueria Gumball Machines

Muni Overhead Wire Technicians Allowed To Double Park Outside La Taqueria