Mission Mission

This shit is off the hook!  Not only does this group look absolutely elated to be alive, we have a Walter Sobchak lookalike!  Solid.

(Oh, if this is your camera, you can holler to get it back)

Squeal!  Eye on Blogs posted a video report about Muni street name mispronounciations.

The highlight?  Seeing the face of Ms. Muni Voice herself.  Feast your eyes on MS. DONNA REED:

Photo stolen from SF Chronicle

Swoon!  She’s just as friendly, authoritative, and subtly seductive as her voice implies.

Donna works for DRI, the company responsible for Muni’s digital announcements, in Houston, Texas.  Her thick Texan drawl is the reason you keep missing your bus stop.

I really love the way she says “Cabrillo.”  Kah-BRILL-ohhhh.  What’s your fave?

On my way home from work today, I caught what is sure to be my last glimpse of a dying beast: the 26 Valencia.  It totally made that mraaawwwghhhh sound that dinosaurs make when you shoot ‘em as it lunged away from its stop.

Unlike KevMo, I’m a longtime Muni lover, Fast Pass collector, and old lady seat offerer, so am sad to see this piece of shit bus go.  I think it only proper I write up an homage of my own to add to Kevin’s post (I’m the nice one, he’s the mean one, haven’t you been paying attention?).

Riding the 26 always made me feel like I was taking public transit in Santa Barbara.  I saw it referred to as the “rich man’s 14″  somewhere online today, which I thought appropriate.  One time I was on the 26 and a Norwegian woman started telling me about how certain types of  hamburger meat paralyzes you for life and also that I have really good skin.  Yes, this bus is totally useless, but how awesome was it to conveniently bump into it and ride the 4 blocks down Valencia you were planning on walking?

RIP, 26 Valencia.  There will be tears in my beer and on my Fast Pass tonight.

If you didn’t already know, the kind of useless Muni line is shutting down tonight.  Personally, I’ve never ridden the Muni so I don’t give a shit, but presumably some of you do.  Honestly, I like biking and I don’t like buses.  Getting stabbed does sound like fun though.  Once I was taking the MBTA-70 into Boston and  watched what I assumed to be a homeless man stand up  and piss right there on the bus.  From that day on I swore to never ride the bus again and live on Capp St so I could watch people piss right in front of my house on an hourly basis instead.

But seriously, you can get anywhere in the city faster on a bicycle.  I don’t really see the point of taking it unless you are physically unable to get around without a motor (you could probably get around faster on a rascal scooter though).

Anyways, I felt it would be inappropriate to not honor the line in some way, so I asked a bunch of people who ride the line to write up obituaries for it.  Most people were like “who gives a shit?”  Figures.

From the smart and stylish Laura Beck:

I used to take the 26 from glen park to the mission on the regular(ish). what to say?

cons: this bus NEVER, and I mean NEVER, came.
pros: more time to play flight control on my phone and avoid Real Work.

cons: one of the regular drivers told me some awkward sexual jokes…is he hitting on me??
pros: i feel pretty!

pros: cleaner than your average city bus.
cons: no stabbings! BO-RING! perhaps this is why they are canceling service?

pros: drops you off in front of zeitgeist. entire days spent in lovely backyard garden, surrounded by awesome folks!
cons: drops you off in front of zeitgeist. entire days wasted in shitbox backyard garden, surrounded by assholes!

So because ‘sk8 or die’ is basically my motto and Muni is basically my municipal transit of choice, I’m really into this deck:

I’d tailslide the shit out of that thing, then stalefishgrab it and top it all off with a motherfucking sausage grind.

This website rules, btw. Read more about the actual board on Muni Diaries.

I’ll be done with this joke soon, guys, I promise.

Folsom Street Fair this weekend!  Time to get sexy with some beefy dudes.

The fair goes from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. and will be affecting the following Muni lines:

6 Parnassus
9 San Bruno
12 Folsom-Pacific
14 Mission
19 Polk
26 Valencia
30 Stockton
47 Van Ness
49 Mission-Van Ness

Basically, don’t take the bus.  Get on your bike, fatty.

[Source: SF Appeal]

You guys!  I love love,  Muni, and Missed Connections, which is why I so thoroughly enjoyed this post on Muni Diaries, as well as it’s accompanying photo:

Romance on public transit!  From Flickr user jenmaiser.

Alexander Crane’s missed connection occurred a few months ago; I’m curious to hear whether the babe with the feather earrings ever got in touch.   Alexander or feather babe: write in!

And lastly: Muni Diaries asks for Muni missed  connections and thus, I will follow suit and request that you send Mission Mission your Mission missed connections.  Send love notes to: missionmissionmission at gmail dot com.

Seriously, I’ll get you a girlfriend with bangs and pretty eyes in no time.

SF Appeal is having its first big event: Some kind of really nerdy flashmob to celebrate the Culture Bus’ final excursion. Saturday afternoon! Link.

Reader Kostis spotted this topless Muni car yesterday on Church and 24th:

Incredible. When I first saw this, I thought somebody had bought an old muni cable car and transformed it into one of those cheesy open-air tourist vans. Then I noticed the pirate flags and the hanging lights and figured it was someone’s Burning man project.

And THEN I realized it was actually not a van at all, but running on the muni tracks and it was an actual muni car, stopping at stops and picking people up! Insane. If anybody’s knows if there’s a story behind this, please let me know. I love SF.

If I had to guess, the Muni is starting to do duck tours to help raise money.

Be sure to click the images for a full-size version.  Thanks Kostis / khtoo!

Update: reader Mr. Read brings us the official story in the comments.  Turns out that the “boat tram” mainly runs along the tourist path, which explains why a few people were surprised to see it.

Brittney Gilbert reports that a man on the 49 around 26th and Mission had his wallet stolen right out of his hand.  It sounds like the kids who stole the wallet did not even try to be discrete about it:

“To clarify, two teens on the 49 took a man’s wallet that was in his hand, and hared him to do something about it.  He did not.” (link)

To reiterate:

Get a u-lock