Mission Mission

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mr. Peanut, of Planter’s fame, and a Mr. Pickle, of Mr. Pickle Sandwich Shop on South Van Ness?

A: Mr. Pickle’s classy spats-sporting cousin in SOMA, Mr. Toad’s.

Don’t worry, Mr. Pickle. Your cousin is in the recording and rehearsal space business and poses no threat to your empire.

[via MM reader Shawna]

Previously:

Epic Mr. Pickle Saga

Snapped on 17th and Mission.

Is it just me, or do HDR photos look like they are screenshots from upcoming Xbox games?

Zul.is.it has this and other amazing San Francisco HDR shots on his Flickr.

If I was better at Photoshop, I’d throw a 1950′s postcard style “Greetings from… the Mission” over this baby, but you’re just going to have to use your imagination.

A little background on this lovely photo from Chris Garcia:

Sheng Wang took this photo of local comedians at Dolores Park last summer.
Pictured Left to Right: Donny Divanian, Alex Koll, Kevin Munroe, Chris Garcia, Emily Heller.

If you don’t remember Chris, you probably ought to see his hilarious stand-up bit on the Mission we posted a while ago.

Click to apply bigness.

Tonight we find more mistreatment of animals.

First they put dead herons on signs, then we all eat dead animals in restaurants*, and now our internet friend/troll Cranky Old Mission Guy has been piecing together what looks to be some kind of bizarre criminal act. The evidence is as follows.

The head of a chicken.

The head of a reindeer.

The weapon?!?!

And finally, the suspects:

Actually, Crank has a better description of this scene:

“(left-to-right) Fred’s white girlfriend, Fred, and some neighborhood activist they don’t know, who is interrupting their make-out session.”

Seriously, that chicken head makes me sad. And I do feel mean about joking about a dead animal’s head lying on the ground. But I eat meat, so I obviously don’t have much regard for a chicken’s life or treatment. (sigh)

*I know.

UPDATE: Thanks to Crank’s fine detective work, the prime suspect has been apprehended!

Taken at the corner of Folsom and 17th at City Cremation. Not everyone can afford a fancy urn.

[photo and title by reader Joel G.]

Before I go into the top Mission Mission post of 2010, I’d like to tell a story.

I didn’t have a dog or cat growing up. Instead, my parents got us a pair of hamsters. While these little critters aren’t blessed with the talents of learning tricks, episodic memory, or establishing meaningful relationships with their masters, you can put them in a ball and watch them roll around for a couple of hours of entertainment.

We never named them. One was a shy, chill hamster, and the other one was basically a big asshole. At first the bully beat up on chill guy. Then the chill hamster got pretty big and kept the other one in check. This was a good time that I refer to as the “time of serenity”.

The bully hamster didn’t take to this arrangement and eventually started putting in extra hours on the wheel working out. He got stronger, faster, and meaner. When the time was right, he came back in full force. Thus, “the reign of horror” began. The brutal beatings occurred on an nightly basis, culminating in the bully hamster gnawing off the genitals of the other.

My point is, there are some things that can’t be unseen. A hamster’s disfigured, bloody stump of a crotch is one of them. This year in the Mission, a lady shitting on her house is another.

1. Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building

Short story: An anonymous reader caught his upstairs neighbor shitting in the alley of her apartment building.

Long story: When this one showed up in our inbox, we had a lot of questions: Who shits on her own house? Who takes pictures of someone shitting her own house? Did she, you know, wipe? These are important philosophical questions.

Perhaps more baffling than the actual act was the reaction by some of our commenters to the effect of, “Hey! Stop picking on this lady for having a bad day.”

Bad day? I mean, I’ve had to go pretty bad on the road a few times but I’ve always managed to deal with it in a socially acceptable manner. One would think that when you’ve made it to your house, you’ve done the hard part; getting to your bathroom is cake. But I’ll spare you any more, the entire scenario was dissected thoroughly with the 80+ comments here.

Little did we know that this story would captivate San Francisco, even earning us an award for “SF’s Best Photo/Twitpic” in the SF Weekly’s 2010 Web Awards (you can see our fitting reaction at sexpigeon). To use a tired cliche, “only in San Francisco” could a photo of an obeise lady dropping a deuce be considered “the best” of anything.

In the end, I’m not sure what we should take away from this. However, I will say this: we probably need more public bathrooms in the Mission, and less people with high-resolution digital cameras.

Happy new year!