Mission Mission

“A homosexual’s perspective,” by Myles, who loves Meryl Streep and Abba as much as we do. (via Imsoooconfused)

Tonight, Root Division at 17th and SVN hosts a very special event:

What happens when both professional and first time filmmakers pledge to spend 30 days creating 3-Minute masterpieces? Find out at the 6th Annual 3-Minute Film Festival Black Tie Gala and Film Screening, the August edition of Root Division’s monthly Second Saturday Series.

Link. In addition to the screenings, comedy duo Andrew Lowder and Jeff Cleary will perform. Cleary says, “I can’t give away anything about the performance, but let me just say, there’s never been a life-coach who’s seen the act and not fallen over dead.” Note that the “black tie” thing is no joke.

The latest entry at WTF? OMFG! is called Mission District: Are You Kidding? and asks of the writer behind this bit of sidewalk graffiti, “How can you miss something that hasn’t gone away, whatsoever?” The rest of the rant is pretty choice too.

Missed Connection between my face and your boot:

Did you beat me up Friday night? – 27 (mission district)

(this is not a romantic listing) Friday around 4:30pm I started drinking at Zeitgeist. I don’t think I was drinking heavily, but probably started a little early. Better get some food to soak up some of the alcohol, I thought. So me and friend hit Aslom’s Rasoi for some tasty Indian food. Then we went back to his place around the corner and drank large amounts of liquor. This is where my memory temporarily stops.

I actually *did* believe, before opening the link, that it was romantic listing. So I’m a little sad about that. I do applaud him for trying to stay on an even keel with the help of some fart-inducing food — but beer before liquor!?

The next memory I have is me stumbling down the street with puke on my sleeve, dirt all over and feeling pretty grumpy. I got a cab from the Castro Bank of America and didn’t notice until the next morning that my jaw was swollen as hell and I had a black eye.

And now you’re that guy who ruins my great night in the Mission because I have to step around your massive pile of spicy-smelling vomit. Congratulations.

I can live with the swollen and bruised face, but not knowing how I got it is really eating me. I’m left to fill in the blanks on my own and I’m afraid I may have been a total jerk, or possibly just fell down some stairs?

I was wearing a white and gray striped sweater and had on a brown hat.

I love when stereotypes come true.

So, if you kicked my a$$ (or saw me get it kicked), why not take credit for it and let me know. I would really like to know what I did/said in order to receive this masterpiece beating.

I think this guy is leaving out a lot. This has probably happened before. I witness this every Friday night in the Mission — some young dude wearing a striped sweater and a hat (probably corduroy or knit with that little half bill that tough guys think make them look sensitive) vomits in the street, gets in a fight, and acts like it’s OK to turn a great neighborhood into the Vegas Strip.

P.S. Are you a ninja?

Maybe I kicked his ass because he says stupid shit like “Are you a ninja”?

Previously on Mission Mission:

Dick Cabbie Robs Fare, Leaves Her Curbside, Battered and Phoneless

‘Hamlet’ with Zeitgeist Employees

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12 Galaxies is closing later this month. This is horseshit. For the Mission to be devoid of a venue for serious touring bands is for me to die a little. Slim’s is fine and Bottom of the Hill is okay, but they’re SO far away — and god forbid we have to go to Bimbo’s. Might as well drive to Sacramento.

At 12 Galaxies, I’ve seen the Fucking Champs play “Auld Lang Syne” on New Year’s Eve, I’ve seen Robbie Fulks play Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” just because, I’ve seen Sugar & Gold joyously celebrate the release of a rad record years and years in the making, I’ve seen Jay Reatard positively slay the audience even though his set was literally like 12 minutes long, I’ve seen some great graffiti about your mom, I’ve seen a bummed-looking Judah Bauer play to a crowd of five, I’ve taken elbows to the face in the pit, and I’ve loved every second of all of it. Even though it’s only been around for a few years, it feels like a legitimate institution. So, if somebody with money to burn wants to buy it and keep it going, we would support that.

If not, by way of tribute, here’s a cheesy blurb I wrote about the place a couple years ago when I was doing some contract work for an internet travel guide:

Part Mission District dive, part world-class concert venue, 12 Galaxies hosts local and nationally touring rock bands almost every night of the week. Its run-down facade recalls Mission Street’s theater-lined heyday of years past. Inside, you’ll find a well-stocked bar, a grill serving wings and jambalaya, and a charmingly cave-like performance space. Seating is limited, but the dancefloor is ample and a second-floor mezzanine provides ideal sightlines for those less inclined to brave the bumping-and-grinding crowd below. 2006 saw the inauguration of a bigger, taller stage, putting the club on par with any number of the city’s foremost live-music haunts. As such, on any given night, you’ll be happy to see hometown favorites like the Passionistas and Comets On Fire share the bill with rock superstars such as the Black Lips and the Heartless Bastards. See website for event calendar, online ticketing and more.

Go with God, old friend. (via SFist)

Image from previous Mission Mission post 12 Galaxies Wraparound Mezzanine Perfect Vantage Point from which to Observe Toby Dammit’s Percussatory Chops.

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Snap! This person got served! I don’t even want to see the original post, this really says it all.

Previously on Mission Mission:

‘Hipster’ ‘Douchebag’ ‘Mission District’

I swear I didn’t write this

In the comments section of the original post, Carowner says the bees are back in action (and details a dramatic plan to bounce them once and for all)!

Update (Thursday evening): In the comments section of THIS post, Carowner gives us a full timeline of bee activity, and reveals that the aforementioned dramatic plan is underway. Cross your fingers!

Once upon a time, I was checking out at Modern Times and saw this Roll Up Road graphic on a sticker for sale behind the register. I got one, and I’ve enjoyed it ever since — though I’ve always wanted to know who the artist behind it was. Today, Yell over at Yell! (great header image, btw) posted an appreciation of Microcosm Publishing’s selection of zines and patches and other DIY goodies. I checked it out, and lo and behold, they’re selling Roll Up Road t-shirts! I bought two. AND I finally learned the artist’s name. It’s cartoonist Andy Singer. AND when checking out, I noticed you can save on shipping if you pick your order up at their storefront in Bloomington, Indiana — and lo and behold I’m gonna be in Bloomington in a couple weeks! (Don’t ask.) Hello, savings!

Link to Roll Up Road shirt. Note that they also sell a version with the addition of some text that reads “Fuck Cars.”

Real-life hero and Emergency Beekeeper Karen just wrote in to further explain the mystery of Saturday’s bee swarm:

This is the beekeeper, Karen, here. Wendy and Carowner were real troopers. As I explained many times to everyone who was crowded around and watched, when honey bees “swarm” it is a good thing for two reasons:

1. It means the colony from which it emerged is doing well and out grew its space. The queen leaves with approx 50% of the bees in the colony, and they find a place to land before figuring out where they will go to start a new nest. Why this group decided to land on the car is unknown. Meantime, back at the hive, a new queen (daughter of the queen who left) has emerged from her queen cell. She will head-up the other 50% of the colony and perpetuate it.

2. When honeybees swarm, they are very gentle and non-defensive. They have no honey stores or brood (baby bees before hatching) to protect, and they have gorged on honey before they left their hive, filling their special “honey stomachs” because they don’t know exactly when they will begin to set up housekeeping at their new location. They are like us after we’ve eaten a big meal (like T-day), full and kinda relaxed.

I took the bees back to my house and installed them into a hive. I will check on them in a few days to see if we got the queen or not. If we did not, she is likely still in the air vent of the car and will either leave or die.

I will post again once I know.

Fascinating animals, these bees. Thanks, Karen! Now if only we could finally solve that godforsaken cucumber mystery.

From the Contact Us page:

Those graffiti frogs on yopur homepage belong to a little tweaker punk, who lurks on haight st. . I won’t support this blog untill you remove those from the banner.

Fuck this blog.

The “little” part is kind of a bummer, because we’ve always thought of Ribity as totally bigger than life, but, like, what’s wrong with tweakers and punks and Haight Street? We like all of those things, for the most part. Most important, Ribity is awesome, so methinks Mission Mission will have to soldier on without your support, bro. Later, hater.

Photo by FajitaGate.