Mission Mission

Being unemployed is hard work.

— Chelsea Otakan (@chexee) July 25, 2013

It’s the classic game show basically, but slightly updated for the Mission in the year 2013. And with lots of cheap beer! It’s $10 at the door and $5 in advance, so by all means get some advance tickets here.

Oh and let’s give away a pair of tickets real quick while we’re at it. First person to make a funny joke about dating in the comments section below gets on the list.

[via Burrito Justice on Tumblr]

And all the parks (!!!):

– Alamo Square

– Balboa Park

– Bernal Heights Recreation Center

– Boeddeker Park

– Chinese Recreation Center

– Civic Center Plaza

– Corona Heights

– Crocker Amazon Playground

– Duboce Park

– Eureka Valley Recreation Center

– Gene Friend Recreation Center

– Hamilton Recreation Center

– Huntington Park

– Joseph Lee Recreation Center

– Justin Herman Plaza

– Margaret S. Hayward Playground

– Marina Green

– Minnie and Lovie Ward Recreation Center

– Mission Dolores Park

– Mission Recreation Center

– Palega Playground

– Portsmouth Square

– Richmond Recreation Center

– St. Mary’s Recreation Center

– St. Mary’s Square

– Sue Bierman Park

– Sunnyside Playground

– Sunset Playground

– Tenderloin Recreation Center

– Upper Noe Recreation Center

– Washington Square

Although, no Potrero del Sol and no Precita

Read on for more info.

The other bad news is, this news is sure to render my “It’s so nice in the park right now, why are you still at work” posts totally meaningless.

(Thanks, Mikey!)

Last season’s winners won prizes from Rickshaw Bagworks, Mission Bowling Club, Cool Try, DSF, Cynic Cave, Daytime Realness, Indie Mart, Thieves Tavern, and American Tripps! Look how happy they all are!

Also, there was twerking.

Register for next season (beginning Monday) here.

That lets the little sucker keep on doing what he does best, which is trap and devour all the nuisance insects like flies and mosquitos that actually intend to cause you harm!

Optional: Put it in a container so you have a friend to keep you company for the afternoon before you set it free.

Caveat: If it’s a particularly beastly critter like this little guy here, dump him in your neighbor’s yard instead!

Now all he has to do is take some shirtcocking pics in his cock shirt and all will be right with the world.

[via Nico]

The matches-on-your-nipples trick, which we learned about three years back in an interview with Craig Stoll about Delfina and Locanda, has even more Mission roots than we realized. Blue Plate owner Jeff Trenam tells the story to Eater SF:

Among the photographs that have adorned the walls in Blue Plate’s bathroom over the last fourteen years is a black-and-white photo by Dave Schubert titled “Maria’s Trick.” It shows a young woman, “Maria,” standing on a toilet in the old Treat Street Bar with her shirt lifted and two lit matchsticks propped up on her nipples. This photograph has been stolen out of the bathroom nearly a dozen times (each time replaced by the photographer), with the thieves even dismantling frames locked to the wall to get at the racy snapshot. I swore it must have been on some kind of fraternity scavenger hunt. Recently, a nameless guest returned with the first print ever stolen.

Read on for the heartwarming conclusion.

Only one in existence! Available now! Completely handmade right here in SF, and just $180. Follow Amos on Twitter if you wanna know where his stand is at!

(And see Amos’ website for more shirts and accessories and Motley Goods for more bags.)

Look at that lineup! RSVP and invite your friends!