Mission Mission

Hey, looks like BART Police actually do stuff other than stand around holding their belts!

Today BART posted that that they caught 47-year old Brett Major of San Francisco in the act, and want your help in identifying some recovered stolen frames:

BART Police Officers booked Major at San Francisco County Jail for burglary, theft, possession of  burglary tools, and an outstanding warrant originating from Alameda County. A subsequent search of Majors’ home turned up seven bicycle frames and parts, which BART Police believe to be stolen. BART Police Investigators are looking for the owners to identify and claim their property.

My bike (stolen in January from the same location) wasn’t in there, but maybe you can identify yours so they can throw the book at this dude… multiple times. Hopefully they are heavy books with sharp edges like hardcover, large print editions of Infinite Jest. I don’t think I’ll be retiring the busted-ass Murray that I lock down there yet, but this is a good development indeed.

If you’ve had a bike stolen out of 24th St. recently, head over to BART’s site and see if a picture of your frame is listed.

Update: Also, don’t forget that Ingelside station posted a ton of pictures of recovered bikes in May. Worth a look if you haven’t checked it out already.

[via Scissor Fight]

Someone lost a lot of brain cells last night, and they didn’t even have the decency to properly recycle the canisters this time! I swear, KIDS THESE DAYS.

Or perhaps they just baked a huge delicious cake and the resulting food coma induced so much lethargy that they couldn’t make it all the way to the appropriate bin? Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Or do they prefer “chef”?  Either way, it’s probably best not to call them a retard, even if you’re a tough gangster dude, because you never know when they may secrete blades from their tattoos and slice up your whole party.  Do yourself a favor and watch this rad video from the folks over at Sunday Paper.

(Thanks Laurie! Via Mission Local)

Previously:

• Faces of Lung Shan
• Danny Bowien shows Martha Stewart how he slaps his noodle

HOTT!

[via Patricia Dolores]

Hard French is everybody’s favorite Saturday-afternoon vinyl-only soul music dance party, but this Sunday they’re going all out with another all-day Pride party! It is going to be unreal:

Hard French Hearts Los Homos Pride 2012
SOMArts Cultural Center
934 Brannan Street
Sunday, June 24, 2012, 4pm – 11pm
$25 General Presale, $60 Hard French Lovers Day Pass!
Presale tickets now onsale at http://hardfrenchpride2012.eventbrite.com/

As always:
DJ Carnita & DJ Brown Amy with the Hard French Jiggalicious Dance Babes
Spinning the baddest all-vinyl girl group grooves, northern soul stunners and funky foot stompers this side of the ’60s

Live Performances by:
SSION (Kansas City)
Art-punk dance/design/film collective from Kansas City, Missouri, headed by Cody Critcheloe.
Sugar Pie DeSanto (Oakland)
Bay area 60’s soul and rhythem and blues sensation
Beyondadoubt (Portland)
Original, boundless bounce production using drag, vogue, genderfucking, twerk fierceness.

Featuring guest DJ sets by:
Mustache Mondays (LA), Mrs. (Portland), Stay Gold, Bearracuda, Ships In The Night and OH!

Wow. And the prize pack is similarly jam-packed:

2 VIP Tickets to Hard French <3′s Los Homos
2 Guest List Tickets to Pride Nightlife At The Academy Of Sciences (HF is DJ’ing in the coral reef!)
2 $20 Gift certificates to Explorist Records
1 $25 Ike’s Place Gift Certificate

Wowow. To win, in the comments section below, ask the Hard Frenchers a question NOT on their Hard French Hearts Los Homos Pride 2012 FAQ. Make it a good one. Hard French and Mission Mission will pick the best one, based on merit, and maybe they’ll answer it or maybe you’ll just win the contest. Contest ends at noon on Wednesday.

Just look at this band. This is the Crystal Ark. Not only do they look like this, but also at least two of the people in this picture were also in our dearly departed LCD Soundsystem. Omg, right? You will want to attend this show (which takes place this Friday night).

To win tickets, tell us your best crystal-related or horse-meat-related story in the comments section below. A winner will be chosen based on merit and awarded a pair of tickets. Contest ends at noon on Wednesday.

To buy tickets, see here.

Thanks to local crew Honey Soundsystem for making this contest possible.

Wait, it’s kind of triangular. It’s not a merkin, is it? Oh dear.

Wow!

[Both photos by Finch Linden]