Mission Mission

You know, the one with the awning. Check out Lizzy‘s review:

I just went across the street to see what’s up with the new bakery. As I came out I was startled by someone yelling, although that’s not an unusual thing to encounter outside my house.

A man with long, scraggly hair, a toothless mouth (I was going to write grin but it wasn’t accurate), and matching leather jacket and pants was riding a bike down 21st Street. When I say riding, I mean he was sitting on the seat with one hand on the handlebars, propelling himself with one foot on the ground like a skateboard rather than pedaling, and swerving wildly. He was using his other hand to hold a cell phone and screaming into it: “YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU’RE DONE!”

Read on for the verdict on the coffee and pastry.

This man is a professional. Do not try this anywhere. But do watch the whole thing:

[via Austin]

Check out this gem of a Craigslist personal that lays it all out on the table from the get-go:

Let me be clear. I want a girlfriend. But, I don’t really want a girlfriend.

I just want one for the holidays.

I mean, you don’t want your parents to know you’re still hopelessly single, right?  Read on to see if you have what it takes to provide adequate company “on these witch-tit-cold San Francisco nights.”

[Completely unrelated photo by gaelen]

It’s called Mission Mattress. And it’s not just doing updates about itself; it also covers such other Mission favorites as cannibal pigeons, shoe piles — and Occupy Oakland.

(Thanks, Cristina!)

UPDATE: There’s a Flickr group covering similar territory.

Have you ever felt something deep down within but just didn’t have the words to describe it? Apparently you’re not alone, as a new reading series dubbed Clattering Loom aims to examine those very feelings:

Clattering Loom is a quarterly reading series that focuses on one untranslatable phrase or word from a language other than English that expresses something for which there is no singular definition in our language.

For the Autumn installment, we have chosen the French word “dépaysement,” which translates loosely as: the feeling from not being in one’s home country; a change of scenery, unexpected and new horizons.

It’s all going down this Sunday from 12-4pm at Gallery 4N5, and there will be readings from the likes of Maisha Johnson and Jonathan Hirsch, as well as music by Tiny Home, not to mention everyone’s favorite frybread purveyor Rocky Yazzie coming through with a special breakfast version to soak up the $3 mimosas.  It’ll be the perfect FREE rainy day activity, even if it’s not raining!

RSVP to the Facebook event page here.

[Photo by jdonohue]

Here’s what you could’ve gotten had you acted faster:

• Luxury Limousine transportation to and from the show
• Red Carpet Treatment (Sound Check attendance, Pre and Post-show Meet & Greet, VIP seating)
• Personalized Engraved Limited Edition NYE Pot Leaf Dog Tag
• Limited Edition Signed T-Shirt – designed personally by Kreayshawn and autographed at the show. Design to be revealed prior to performance!
• Admission for (6) six to Kreayshawn’s NYE 2011 show

Bummer, dude.

[via Slob on my Blog, whose author adds, "People are morons."] [Photo by Nobunny]

[via Birthday Pony]

Epic.

(Thanks, Carina!)

Previously:

• Patrick Swayze lights up a roller rink at the Roxie

This guy Drew just published an essay called “I Got So Sober Last Night, Dude.” Here’s an excerpt:

Yeah, I’m so awake today, dude. I haven’t been this awake since that last time we got all sober on that one Wednesday. Yeah, man, remember that? That one in April? You came home at a moderate hour and were like, “man, I might catch up on my DVR tonight.” And then I was all, “cool, I’m pretty tired and might just fall asleep about three quarters of the way into a documentary on Netflix.” We got crazy sober that night and were like, “NEVER again!” Guess what? BOOM. Blew that one.

Read on for the full rundown. I can tell this is funny, but I’m not sure I totally relate. I usually get drunk when watching documentaries on Netflix.

[via Gaelen]

Check out the tale of a recent ride-along over at The Bold Italic. Written by Mark Lukach with design by Diana Martinez. Among other things, we learn that when you get pulled over late at night for something seemingly insignificant, the cops are just using you as an excuse to flash their lights.

[From midnight to 2 a.m.], the most important thing for officers is to be as obvious as possible. The easiest way to do that is to pull people over. So we did that. If we saw a guy with a tail light out, or turning left where it’s prohibited, we pulled the car over. Not to cite the guy. Not to be dicks. We did it in order to have police lights flashing on busy streets where drugs are sold, gangs congregate, and the inebriated get rowdy. In the course of an hour, we pulled over four cars along Mission Street, and didn’t ticket a single driver. We were just letting our presence be known.

Read the rest here.