Mission Mission

I know we all hate cops but, would you date a cop?

— ☯ k®♎∆§µ∆w♬ ☯ ︻╦╤─(@KREAYSHAWN) April 13, 2012

Kreayshawn wants to know! And so do culture jamming Oakland advice columnist Ron Kristophone‘s readers. Here’s what Kristophone has to say:

I don’t think dating a cop is the best direction to take at your age. You’re going to have a bunch of years later on in life to feign interest with the cop-soulmate of your nightmares about how shitty the new X-ray guy at city hall is, or how much of a pussy Ramirez was for ordering a Greek salad at lunch. In the meantime, I think it would be best if you tried out guys who talk about the Speak and Spell they circuit-bent to sound like the robot chick from “Small Wonder” more than how your day was. Or perhaps the dude in his mid-thirties who holds grudges against you for not giving a fuck about Nigerian hip-hop. Both of them wont be constantly diverting their attention away from you toward the Burning Man shithead who is weeping passionately about the nutritional benefits of lentils, or laying their gun on the table and staring you directly in the eye every time you order a Greek salad.

Read on for more if you like. But first let’s watch the classic video for “Dating Cops” by the Intelligence:

It’s like SXSW up in this piece lately — free beer everywhere! Free beer tonight at ping pong, free beer at this thing, etc.

Anyway, this thing, a launch party for a new app called UpOut (not uPout, though I bet if you get slammed in the face by a bouncy boxing glove hard enough, uPout). Broke-Ass Stuart will be there, boxing and playing host or something. Free beer by Pabst. Free gourmet hot dogs. And then there’s a egg hunt and a bouncy castle in which bouncy boxing will take place. And it’s all in the trippy old factory space that is Z Space. And it’s free! Saturday night! You must RSVP here!

Stuart has all the details and some jokes about Coachella here.

Wow, right? Here’s the video, lightning at the 0:16 mark:

The screenshot is the best part though I guess. Here’s another:

And here’s another short video I like:

[via Synecdochectomy]

Looks like those hammocked ladies have finally caught their bus. It’s always sad to see a piece of art get painted over like that. This one was created by Rocky Villanueva in the summer of 2010, and you can see his process here. Anyone know what (if anything) is going up in its place?

[via The Fog Bender]

At least according to every Facebook and Twitter newsfeed I happened to lay eyes on last night.  Everyone had something to say about the thunder, either regarding how awesome or terrifying it was, but the most striking sentiment came from a friend’s FB post:

It made me realize that in the 6 or 7 years I’ve lived in SF myself as well, I can’t exactly remember experiencing a thunderstorm either.  I guess they just don’t happen here ever?  I could have sworn that they were commonplace when living in Berkeley before that, but perhaps that’s an invented memory too.  At the very least, nature’s sonic performance last night finally gave all the East Coasters and Midwesterners something to be smug about!

[Photo by trophygeek]

Previously:

• It did NOT rain today
• But damn, did it EVER rain last night!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo_qM_T6zqM

“Rock music DJ night,” says the official invite (which also pointed us to the above Gun Club jam), “glam rock, powerpop, and more. 4 hours of rock music, dozens of beers on tap, no cover.” Tonight starting at 8:30 at Gestalt.

The weather’s too ugly to stray too far from home, so this might be just right (especially if you’re also planning to see the Jay Reatard movie at the Roxie right down the block, which you should). RSVP and invite your friends!

You know — for your Kindle!

(I guess this is some kind of hilarious new comic strip in the Bay Guardian? I didn’t try going to the URL because it couldn’t possibly be a real thing, right? Funny though. Well done, Bay Guardian!)

[via Idiot Tempers]

Turns out last night’s buckets of rain did more than just make people feel scared/cozy. Humphry Slocombe laments via Twitter that the store has been flooded, which not only is surely causing lots of headaches but also has damaged copies of their newly-printed recipe book. Luckily they’ve probably got some bourbon on hand. We’re sorry, guys! Chin up!

I mean, it sounds pretty good, no?

[link]