Mission Mission

Click to enlarge if you feel like it.

Although this may not be in the Mission, it’s a goddamn Frankenstein head on a bike lane.

I know stealing parts off locked bicycles is all the rage these days, but taking the steering wheel off of a kid’s Little Tikes Car?  That’s just low.

(Photo by captin_nod)

Now I know why my tenant agreement strictly forbids keeping wolves on the premises.

I excitedly ran over to my neighbor’s house with 537 dollars cash-money hoping to bet in a new Capp St. cockfighting ring only to discover that they are merely using them for a big chicken dinner.  Slaughtering chickens for food?  That’s just barbaric.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• $0.99 2-piece at Popeye’s
• Ba-Kok, New Kid on the Block

Found on 24th st by KayVee.INC:

Free!

Warning: Death Trap

(It turns on in the middle of the night, lighting itself and yourself up in a nuclear (oven) fireball)

(link1 – link2)

But don’t worry, passing out, puking, pissing, then defecating on the couch is NOT forbidden.  Just so long as you don’t take the cushions.

(A friendly public service announcement found on Oakwood between 18th and 19th by everyone’s favorite Greek Mission resident, Corinna – link)

Reader Kati J. sends us this interesting bit: “Found on Potrero by the skate park. Naked black (pantyhose) man left for dead face down in the street.”

“Would tagging it a hate crime be wrong?”

I sure hope not.

Photo by Jon Bauer

The Chili Bowl was an incredible way to squander away a Saturday afternoon: water balloons full of beer, a blood geyser coming out of a guy’s head, filthy jokes from the announcers, a punk band playing awesome songs like “you are dead, motherfucker” and “crack on Mission St.” within a few dozen yards of a playground full of children, and, of course, skateboarding.  This is definitely my kind of place.

If anyone doubted Allan’s recommendation of the park, you need to check Potrero del Sol out.  It is like Dolores Park, only it’s not full of trash, dead grass, cops, it doesn’t smell like urine, and there is actually interesting shit going on.  It even has its own miniature hipster hill, affectionately known as “lurker hill” by the announcers, where one can flaunt their keen sense of retro bicycle-parts aesthetic and complete apathy towards skateboarding while unfettering, drinking  and carousing.

Anyways, I shot some SICK phone-video of the competition.  Sadly, my camera does not have a fisheye lens and I still know nothing about making skateboarding videos.  Bon appetit.

(link – YouTube)

PROTIP: If you are coming down off your smack high and you want to take a little snooze on one of the filthiest sidewalks in the city, leave your shirt on.  If you must take your shirt off, let your dermatologist know you’ll be stopping by later.

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Those Mission Mission bloggers are disgusting people
• If it is hot outside, floss it

Someone on 24th has an opinion.

I know this looks newsy, but feel free to pay attention anyway. Reader A. tonight forwarded along an internal email memo circulated by the group SafeCleanGreen Mission Dolores. The memo, titled “Dolores Park Progress Report,” updates members on progress made on each of a number of concerns and initiatives.

Most of what they’re talking about here sounds entirely positive: improved safety, improved sanitation and irrigation, improved signage.

The thing is, with improvement comes sacrifice apparently. They are down on dogs, big events, drinking and drugs — things that absolutely make Dolores Park the bastion of freedom and fun so many of us know and love. And maybe that’s fine. Change can be good.

But when a group angling for change lauds increased police presence for its ability to “dampen the spirits of those who are inclined to come to DP for unfettered drinking and carousing,” it gives us pause. We are wary of any organization so giddy about dampening the spirits of others.

The memo says, “Rec&Park recognizes the need to set a new tone in the park.” And maybe that’s true. Maybe somebody needs to remind people more forcefully to pick up their god damn trash.

But should that job be entrusted to a closed organization? The group’s website explains:

“SafeCleanGreen membership is by invitation or referral only. To join, please email and tell us a little bit about yourself and how you found out about us. Be sure to include your address and contact information. You’ll hear back shortly from our Yahoo Group Moderator.”

In any case, maybe it is the end of an era. Maybe it’s time for dogs to be on leashes and community events to be denied permits. Maybe this group is on the right track. Or, maybe they’re a mobilized minority trying to flip the script on a beloved national treasure behind everyone’s back. This is not for us to say. And this is not a call to action, as this is not a call-to-action type blog. But if citizens outside this closed organization have an opinion to voice too, the memo name drops Dolores Park Park Manager Bob Palacio ( bob.palacio@sfgov.org ) and Supervisor Bevan Dufty ( Bevan.Dufty@sfgov.org ).

Full memo after the jump.

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